


Under the Northern Sky

by Yttergrund



Category: Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - World War II, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Finland (Country), Germany, Grinding, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rimming, Romance, World War II
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2018-09-27 16:47:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 58,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10034450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yttergrund/pseuds/Yttergrund
Summary: Story of Teddy and Billy set during the Second World War. One is a Finn, the other a German.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set during the Second World War and will (possibly) make references and have flashbacks set into the 1930’s. It will be multi-chapter story; length of it however is yet to be decided. As an AU this story falls into the category of Historical AU and follows the course of real history; so no surprise victory for the Axis, nor magical powers for anyone (Sorry Billy). I’ve tried research things within reason and to keep this story grounded in reality. However, I’m not a historian so some things and details may be wrong, either by accident or by intention.
> 
> Language, which characters use in this story is Finnish (rendered in English). More realistic option however would have been German as it was the most commonly studied foreign language in Finland before the war. This was due to historical reasons and a certain affinity that we Finns feel towards the Germans (we love rules, hard work and both people think that there is something inherently untrustworthy in people who smile and think that life should be fun).
> 
> Text in italic is either inner monologue (without quotation marks) or dialogue in Finnish, German etc. not rendered in English (with quotation marks) or both (it’s confusing, sorry). Any mistakes in the text are either my own or MS Word's (Curse you overly zealous autocorrect!); English is not my first language and it most likely shows. If there is something horribly wrong just point it out in the comments and I’ll sort it out. 
> 
> Because this story is set during the Second World War it will contain some anti-Semitic and homophobic language. I hope it goes without saying that as a gay man myself; these are not my own personal views.

///\\\\\

 

**May 18 th 1942\. Garrison of German troops. Rovaniemi, Lappland, Finland.**

 

Tired, he was so damn tired. Four hours of combat training and on top of it twelve hours of manning the radio, a readiness exercise the captain had called it, nothing else but sending and receiving messages, the constant ringing of telephones and the ever present buzzing and swishing of radios numbing the mind. Most of the incoming messages came from frontline troops, some from the Oberkommando der Wehrmacht and some from the Finnish troops. All of the messages however shared the same thing; every single one of them had to be individually either coded or decoded, depending of course whether the message in question was coming in or going out. How could a task, where you handled so much important and secret information, be so mind-numbingly boring? He hadn’t come up with a reasonable answer yet and was becoming ever more convinced that the answer to that particular question was getting further and further away from him.

Not that he really complained though, it could be worse. At this very moment he could be sitting in some hastily build dugout at the front, being eaten alive by the gnats that seemed to multiply with alarming speed in the bogs and the lakes that dotted the Lappish landscape.

Finally at eight o’clock he was relieved by lieutenant Bauer: “Go, get some sleep, you look like hell.” he remarked and sat in front of the radio.

“I feel like it too, this must be the worst way to start a week. I really hate these damn exercises.” He grumbeled back with a yawn and headed outside.

“We all do!” Bauer called after him with a laugh.

Sleep, he needed it desperately. But first something to eat because his stomach was growling like the engines of a Junkers bomber. Fortunately the mess hall was standing near his own barracks, illuminated by the rising sun and making the brown building look slightly less unpleasant and obtrusive. Weather was pleasantly warm, even though it was only 8:15 and they were barely ten kilometres south of the Arctic Circle; there was definitely a breath of spring, no, summer, in the air.

He entered the mess hall and gave a quick look around to see if any familiar faces were present, not that he actually had any kind of cognitive functions left for a meaningful conversation, though.

The side of the hall where enlisted personnel and NCOs ate was already empty; they were off to their daily duties. Officers side was almost empty too, only few older officers who he didn’t recognized _and_ Colonel Schmidt sitting at one of the tables. Schmidt was a man with that classic Prussian military bearing and a face with so little fat that it was nearly skeletal. Behind his back the men called him _Roter Schädel_ , which, he thought to himself while walking towards the food-serving counters, was quite appropriate considering that the colonel’s face went completely red whenever he started to yell and that was quite often.

He steered clear.

The only food that they were serving at this time of the morning was porridge and it it looked disgusting in its large container after being left too long without a lid.   _At least it’s hot_ ; he thought with a sigh and scooped some of the gruel on his plate. The only thing the army’s food logistic's didn’t seem to run out was porridge and _sauerkraut_. They seemed to serve the latter with every meal; even now there was a large dish of the stuff right next to the porridge pot. Did they really think that the first thing men wanted to eat at breakfast was a mixture of hot oats and _sauerkraut_? He shivered slightly in disgust.

He headed to a table, not even bothering with the “coffee”; it was a coffee substitute made from roasted chicory, and grain, and god only knew what else. The real stuff was reserved for special occasions and for high ranking officers. As an enlisted lieutenant he wasn’t high ranking enough to have access to the good stuff.

Finishing his meagre breakfast, he headed back to his barracks. Schmidt, having left a bit earlier, was already yelling to some poor private about how his cap wasn’t straight enough. _Poor bastard_ , he thought with a sympathetic smile and rushed by quickly enough not to be noticed by the bellowing colonel.

Just as he was about to enter his quarters the duty conscript of his company addressed him in such a ridiculously stiff attention, heels clacking and all, that he almost started to laugh. Barely listening what the man’s question was, he gave some vague not-really-a-proper-answer and snuck into his room before the overly enthusiastic duty conscript could ask any new ones.

With a sigh of relief he closed the door behind him. The room wasn’t much really, few of his sketches on the wall, two bunks and a desk. He shared the room with lieutenant Hoffberg, but they rarely met due to their differing schedules and duties. Neither complained though, at least it gave them both a possibility to sleep properly without someone snoring and farting right next to.

Life in the army was _so_ luxurious.

Yawning, he took off his belt, momentarily glancing at the words on the buckle “ _Gott mit uns_ ”, stamped above the swastika clutching eagle. Perhaps He really was, though he had his doubts. Unbuttoning his grey-green tunic, similar to hundreds of thousands of others just like it, though his had the golden-yellow epaulettes of Signal Corps of the Wehrmacht, he yawned again, violently, nearly dislodging his jaw. Kicking off his boots to the end of his bunk and not bothering with his trousers and with content sigh, he fell on the bunk like a ton of bricks _. I’m still hungry; I really should have eaten that sauerkraut_ ; he mused, before drifting off to a blissful sleep.

 

He woke, someone was knocking at his door, and he was still worn out. Glancing at his watch he groaned; it was noon. He’d slept barely three hours; his weariness hadn’t disappeared but his irritation was soaring through the roof.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake” He grimaced, looking at the door with a murderous intent. It wasn’t Hoffberg; he was smart enough to enter the room quietly on those rare occasions when he needed something from their shared accommodations while the other was sleeping. He rose to sit on the edge of the bunk, wiping his eyes with the heel of his palm and pulled on his leather boots.

Another knock.

“ What!?” He shouted a bit more forcefully than he had meant.

“ Lieutenant, sir. “ Came a voice through the door. It was that damn duty conscript, private Baumann, wet behind his ears and 18 years old, almost a teenager really. Not that he was that much older himself, though.

_I’m going to throttle that kid_ ; he thought, his fingers _almost_ twitching.

“What do you want?” he asked with a slightly more measured voice, the irritated tone still lingering however.

“Sir, it’s a call from the headquarters, colonel Bromm wants you to be at his office at 13:00.”

“Damn it!” The lieutenant cursed and rubbed his face.

This sounded bad, very bad. Bromm called people to his office only if they had done something well, _or_ had managed to make a plunder sizable enough for him to have an excuse to verbally castrate the persons or _person_ responsible for it. He hadn’t done anything notably exceptional as of late. So had he managed to lose a vital message or done something equally bad?

He didn’t have the foggiest idea.

“Thank you.” He managed to mutter through the door. “You may go.”

“Sir!” Came the answer, followed by the sound of boot heels snapping together and footsteps moving away. The kid sure did love all the pomp of the army, he’d fit right in.

Standing up, the lieutenant glanced at himself from the mirror, he looked like hell. Shadows under his eyes and stubble, he needed a long hot shower. _No_ , not a hot one, but a scalding one, and a shave. Enough time only for one of them though.

_Shave it is then_ ; he thought while stroking the stubble on his chin. Wash basin was full of water, good; at least he didn’t have to go to the showers for a shave.

 

Thirty minutes and a quick car ride later he was walking towards the HQ building. The headquarters were located in the town itself and so getting to there from the garrison, few kilometres away, always took some time.  

Sun was shining and the light breeze felt good on his skin, summer was creeping ever more northwards. Streets were busy with people and the hubbub of civilians and soldiers filled his ears. Bus rolled by, the wood gas generator huffing and whizzing at the back of it and next to it a large bag of wood chippings for the fire. Petrol, or rather the lack of it was always an issue, reserved for tanks and planes and other army vehicles, civilians just had to manage by with other means.

Though the lack of petrol didn’t seem to bother the Finns that much, as almost every car around had the same system at the backs of them as the bus did. A country covered completely in a thick blanket of forests was never going to run out of wood chippings, or wood in general.

Still, after eight months, he was amazed by the amount of forests in this land as they covered almost everything that wasn't either lakes or fields here and there. Being from Berlin he really didn’t have much of experience of woods. Of course there was the Tiergarten, at middle of Berlin, but it was more or less a park really, not a proper forest. Even the proper forests back home didn’t compare to these woods, these were dense, thick and full of pines and firs, primeval almost.

No, not at all like the airy oak and ash forests of Germany and Central Europe

Breaking away from his thoughts and nearing the HQ, containing the staff of both German and Finnish troops, he gave a salute to a pair of Finnish officers in their grey uniforms who just rushed by with a quick raise of their hands; fingers barely brushing the brims of their caps. HQ building itself was a white, sugar cube of a building, built in the modernist style. Apparently a school, built just before the war. He entered the building and went straight to the second floor where Bromm’s office was located. A blond clerk with perfectly round glasses told him to wait and just started to hammer away with his typewriter.

Tack. Tack, tack, tack, tack, _tack_ , _tack_ , _tacktack_ , DING. Tack, tack…

Sunlight was streaming through the large windows, making the dust in the air dance and whirl. Considering his feelings, it should have been a rainy day with gusts of wind outside, but no, sunshine and blue sky it was. A potted plant sat in the corner of the hall, fern of some kind, looking quite happy of being just a fern. _My life would be so simpler if I was a fern_ ; he thought, before starting to grin to the stupidity of his own idea. The clerk glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.

Lighter feelings however disappeared very quickly.

Heart bounding, and feeling the anxiousness bubbling in the pit of his stomach, he glanced at his watch, 12:57, at least he was on time. Telephone on the clerk’s desk buzzed instead of ringing and he picked up the receiver, said something to it, and nodded to the waiting lieutenant.  

“Colonel will see you now.” The clerk told to him, his face remained unreadable, not giving away any indication of what was waiting in the colonel’s office.

He walked in with a nervous anticipation. Bromm was sitting behind his desk, reading something.

Snapping into attention he addressed the colonel. “Colonel, sir. You wished to see me.”

“Lieutenant, good, you are on time.” Bromm nodded; “At ease.” He waved his hand, looking calm instead of angry.

“We have a job for you lieutenant; your service records here say you speak passable Finnish. Is that correct?”

“Yes, sir, it is. I learned it…” He managed to answer, perplexed by this turn of events, before being cut off.

“Good, excellent. You have been re-assigned to liaison-staff Nord in Mikkeli, where you will act as “ _technical and procedural advisor_ ” to the Finnish signal corps directly under the supervision of their Army staff. In reality however, your task will be to work at one of the Finnish signal stations that are responsible for the communications of their long range reconnaissance patrols and of signal interception. Your job is to act as a link between our troops and the Finnish troops, making sure that the exchange of intel runs smoothly. You’ll be leaving tomorrow.  Any questions?”

Bromm was known as a man who did not waste time on chit chat.  

“No, sir.” He answered, surprised and perplexed, but with a feeling of dread in his chest making room for relieve.

“Good.” The colonel nodded.

“Your first name, _Theodore_ with an E at the end, like the former American president. It is not very common way to spell it, eh?” Bromm looked at him with pondering eyes, still holding the service records.

“No sir, not the most common way, but it is the name I was given, so... perhaps it makes me slightly different from all the other Theodors.” He answered with a small smile.

“Perhaps so. Well, I think we are done here lieutenant Altman, I wish you all the best and good luck.” Bromm gave a small nod.

“Thank you, sir.”

Lieutenant Theodore Altman walked out of the building; the clerk hadn’t even glanced at him. The sun was shining and the light breeze made the branches of nearby birches move back and forth, sunlight streaming through them thus making the ground beneath them a patchwork of different shades of gold.

Theodore wasn’t tired anymore.

 

\- -

 

**Fifteen kilometres to southeast from Mikkeli, Special Signal Station (SSS)**

 

William’s white-haired twin, carbon copy of his, was dozing on the wooden bench and snoring slightly.

“Do something, anything, you lazy sod!” William huffed and kicked his twin brother on his shin not so gently.

“Ow! Why the hell are you kicking me for?” Thomas asked with a wince. “I’d just gone to sleep and then you just start kicking me like I’m some damn football. Fuck that hurt.” He said and rubbed his shin with a grimace.

“Well that’s just it. It’s barely midday and you’re sleeping and looking like a coma patient. You’re supposed to be our dispatch rider and not a tourist in Hanko. You could, if it’s not too arduous for young sir, chop some firewood or clean the rifles.”

Thomas looked at him with a mock shock. “You can’t be serious? What if I hit my leg with the axe or a log falls on my foot, what then, hmm?”

Are you prepared to risk these beauties?” He bent his legs up towards his chest and kissed his knees with a grin. “Risk the next Olympic gold medals this country will get? Imagine the headlines: Thomas “Speed” Kaplan’s legs injured; will be unable to participate to the Olympics because his moron brother insisted that he should chop some firewood.”

“Isn’t that sentence a bit too long for a headline? You…”

“Shush now.” Thomas raised his finger. “The nation mourns for the lost gold. Parliament debates whether T. Kaplan’s brother should be declared to be a complete and utter idiot.”

“Hilarious…” William looked to his brother with an exasperated glance and Thomas just smiled back with that smug grin that he had perfected over the years. He had become insufferable after the _Suomen Kuvalehti_ had made an article of the upcoming star runner.

“I could just order you to do it, you know. I _am_ your commanding officer, _corporal_ Kaplan.”

“Ooh… so high and mighty.” Thomas grinned. “Well I’m your big brother, _lieutenant_ Kaplan.” He emphasized the word lieutenant with a slight sneer.  “You think I’m going to start to listen to your orders at this point of our lives? Not a chance.”

“By twenty minutes! You’re only twenty minutes older than I am!” William huffed.

“That’s right and don’t you forget it.” Again that smug grin was there. Surely there was no better physical representation of the word smug than the look on Thomas’ face.

“I could have you court martialled.” William tried to look imposing but knew perfectly well that he wasn’t exactly oozing self-confidence and authority.

Thomas just snorted. “Even you don’t believe that.”

Of course his brother was right; he would never do such a thing. Yes, he often wished that Thomas would take a long walk of a very short pier but it had always been this way, ever since they had been little. Thomas was always teasing and infuriating him, but whenever he was feeling down Thomas knew just the right words to coax a laugh or a snort out of him. He had always kept an eye on his younger twin, even in school when bullies had decided that the quieter of the Kaplan twins was an easy target to pick on. Out of nowhere Thomas had showed up and more or less just mopped the floor with the face of one of the bullies. William loved his brother and he was quite sure that Thomas loved (or at least tolerated) him back, not that he would ever admit it, being tough and all that.

“Isn’t it a lovely thing to have a brother?” William turned and asked from Oskari, their radio operator and all-round handyman.

“Don’t mix me to your brotherly squabble.” Oskari grinned and put down his headphones. “I had enough of that particular version of hell with my own siblings _so_ … I’m quite good, thank you very much. I really don’t want to be the Belgium between your Germany and Tommy’s France.”

“Hey! Why am I France in this metaphor, the French are a bunch of ninnies aren’t they?” Thomas asked, still determined not to move from his bench.

“Well, like the French you are _so_ full of yourself and you think the world revolves around you.”

“See, Tommy. I’m not the only one who thinks that way.” William interjected with a grin.

Thomas just flipped him off.

“Your brother on the other hand,” Oskari continued, directing his words at Thomas “Is all business and doing things by the book, also, he gets irritated easily.”

“I do not.” William muttered.

“He said _, all irritated_.” Thomas smirked.

“By the way, talking about the Germans.” Thomas said and finally sat up. “The new guy... When will he be showing up, and more importantly; do you know anything about him?”

William shrugged. “Not much, really, major Kaarna called yesterday and said that he should be here in a day or two, but other than that, he didn’t tell anything else. Though, anything will be an improvement to captain Kessler.”

“What? Wasn’t _hauptmann_ Johan Kessler’s constant yammering about German superiority and excellence to your liking?” Smirked Oskari. “I thought it was such a lovely way to spent evenings, just to sit there and listen to his boasting and awful jokes.”

“Well, yeah, he was a bit of a bore.”

“No Ville.” Oskari called him Ville like everyone else did, though he was Billy to Thomas and to their father. Thomas on the other hand had always been just Tommy to everyone, mainly because of his dislike to his birth name. According to Tommy, it was a name of a “middle-aged bank clerk”, so he always introduced himself as Tommy.

“He wasn’t a _bit of a bore;_ he was a _mulkku_ of the highest order.”

“Seconded!” Tommy yelled in between. “And the motion carries.” Billy laughed and banged the table with his fist. Oskari was chuckling and looked pleased.

“But seriously.” Tommy looked more solemn.

“ _If_ that new guy starts to complain about how he thinks Finnish soldiers aren’t as good as the German ones or that we are somehow inferior, I won’t be as hospitable towards him as I was to Kessler.” Tommy said and cracked his knuckles in a way that always made Billy a bit queasy.

Tommy loved to make people uncomfortable with his comments and to get them riled up. This little habit of his had landed him in to a fair amount of fights, though, to be fair; he had never chickened out of one and always held his ground. Billy had seen his twin often enough with busted lip and bruised knuckles (perhaps that was the reason why they made that horrible sound when he cracked them) to realise that he was never going to learn to keep his mouth shut.

“And what exactly would you do?” Billy asked, looking wholly unimpressed of his brother’s threats.

“Well, after some carefully chosen words, my fist would make its acquaintances with his stupid German face.”

Billy just rolled his eyes.

“What if our new Kraut friend is some three meters tall hulking great giant? What then?” Oskari looked as unimpressed as Billy did, though his expression had a slightly amused twinge in it.

“You two, my best friends in the whole wide world, would of course help, right? Billy would at least; he’s all in for brotherly love and all that.”

Billy turned and looked to his brother with a smile that could light up a room. “Hell no, if you can’t handle your own fights just use those legs of yours and run.” Tommy just sent a barrage of rude gestures and words to his direction and Oskari was twitching with laughter and wiping tears from his eyes.

“Brotherly love my ass…” Tommy muttered.

Billy was still grinning; “Hey, Oskari, I’m going outside to read for a while, I’ll relieve you at one o’clock.”

“Sure thing.” The radio-operator gave him a two finger salute and turned back towards the radio.

Billy grabbed a novel from his small, though surprisingly comfortable room, and headed outside. Earlier that month the weather had been rather foul, cold and damp, but now it was all sunshine and blue skies. Better to enjoy of it now, you never knew how long it would last, no matter what the Meteorological Institute said in its reports. Heading across the gravel covered yard, towards the trees surrounding the small school building they occupied, he plopped down on the ground and leaned back against a thick pine, sighing contently.

Peace and quiet, that’s what he needed, not that he found Tommy’s and Oskari’s company unpleasant, but sometimes being all by yourself with your thoughts was a good thing. Though, sometimes thoughts, or rather acting on those thoughts, could land you in a heap of trouble and Billy knew that better than anyone.

It had been… what, five years ago? He had been seventeen and full of… _needs_ and then being caught while “dealing” with those needs with the wrong person… It hadn’t exactly been a pleasant thing. Nor was it a thing he wanted to remember, all those questions from his parents, a handy trip to see British relatives just to allow the dust to settle… _perkele_! Why did the life have to be so damn complicated?

Well, looking back now, those troubles seemed so small and insignificant when compared to the larger situation at hand. Three years ago, though it felt like thirty, Europe had started to tear itself apart, first that German madman led his troops to war and then the one from east. Sure, there had been signs of that German aggression but everyone believed, or rather, everyone hoped that there wouldn’t be a war. Then it was announced, Molotov–Ribbentrop Pact, the unholy agreement between the Russians and the Nazis.

Billy remembered it well, the moment when the pact had been announced on radio. It had been a beautiful August evening and they had been gathered to the living room, Tommy and he had been bickering about something as a tram passed their building; clanking and clinking as it went. Suddenly their father had just snapped at them and told them to be quiet, he never did that. Later that night Billy had heard their parents talking about the possibility of a war, mum had hoped that just remaining neutral would be enough, dad though hadn’t sounded very convinced of it working, and of course he had been right. Poland was the first to go, split between Germany and USSR, and then in September the Russians had forced the Baltic States to allow Russian troops on to their soil, on grounds of “mutual defence”, independence of three small nations gone. Jackboots of larger nations stomping across the borders of smaller ones, in the words of Thucydides – that “strong do as they please while the weak suffer what they must”. Billy’s history teacher would have been proud; he actually remembered something from his school days.

Finland was sure to be next, and it had been, of course it had been. They always came, the Russians. Why would this century be any different from the previous ones?

Light breeze tussled Billy’s dark hair; it remained stubbornly unkempt despite his heroic attempts to tame it, the book he was supposed to be reading was resting on his lap, thoughts and memories more appealing at the moment.

The Soviets had demanded that the border between the USSR and Finland on the Karelian Isthmus be moved westward to a point only 30 km east of Viipuri and that the Finns destroy all existing fortifications on the Karelian Isthmus.

 

_Sure, why not! We should have had disbanded the army as a gesture of friendship and good will._ Billy thought and huffed.

 

They had also demanded the cession of islands in the Gulf of Finland as well as the Kalastajasaarento peninsula on the shore of Barents Sea. Furthermore, the Finns would have needed to lease the Hanko Peninsula for thirty years and permit the Soviets to establish a military base there. Why just don’t hand the whole country on a silver platter while they were at it.  

No, it would have only been a slippery slope of continuous demands and concessions and at the bottom of it would have waited occupation.

Then the war started on 30 November 1939 without a declaration of war, on basis that Finland had shelled Russian border guards near the village of Mainila. Billy gave a mirthless laugh. The bastards had the audacity to claim that a nation of bit over three and a half million people had started a war against a nation of 170 million.

It was gruelling war, Winter War it was now called, 105 days of bitter winter battles in freezing conditions against a vastly larger enemy, but the nation and its people had stood as one. They had against the odds managed to stop the enemy, with high cost though, too high.

Tens of thousands dead, loss of Karelia and Viipuri and the re-settlement of the Karelians, a right bloody mess.

Sovereignty and independence had been preserved, no thanks to outside help, though. They had been alone, utterly alone. Only significant material help came from Sweden, but even they didn’t send troops. The other international support had been minimal and the little that arrived was late, of course. There had been that general international condemnation of Russian actions but nothing more substantial than that. League of Nations had been about as helpful as a rubber bayonet; thoughts, prayers, and good will didn’t stop tanks.

The fate of small nations was to be a plaything of larger ones. Billy thought grimly and threw away a pine cone that had dropped on the book on his lap. History had no sense of justice or what was fair, things just happened and you just had to manage by, no time for wailing and gnashing of teeth.

He and Tommy had been lucky; their national military service should have been in 1939 but had been pushed to -41, in his case because of his studies and in Tommy’s because of his preparation to the 1940 Olympics, home games no less. Helsinki 1940 Olympics should have been the crowning glory of the nation, a chance to show to the world what small countries could achieve, but no, now the world was too busy with tearing itself apart.

They had gone to service back in January -40, with rushed training of course, the war however had ended before the training had. Billy had excelled as a radio operator and had received his officer training during the Interim Peace - the time between the Winter War and the ongoing Continuation War - that had lasted a little over a year. Tommy on the other hand had been more than content to remain as a corporal and to avoid all the extra responsibilities of an officer and to just enjoy of the freedom he had as a dispatch rider.

Billy remembered it well, the first moments of army life. There they had stood in a poorly executed form, lines and rows a lovely mess. A collection of runny nosed young men from all walks of life, city folk like Tommy and himself, students in their smart overcoats, sons of farmers in their robust clothes and everything from between. Everyone silent, jittery and shivering, was it because of the freezing weather or the nervousness? He never found out.

The novelty of army life had disappeared relatively quickly during the training, men becoming accustomed to the drills and exercises, even the NCOs becoming rather disinterested towards all the repetition. Drill commands were given lazily, and men performed the said commands with increasing sloppiness, _Käännös vasempaan päin, asento, lepo!_  

The inherent informality of the Finnish Army permeating the life in general, men addressing their NCOs simply by last name, sometimes even by first names, grumblings about orders and talking back, utterly different when compared to the Germans, their allies, brothers-in-arms, co-belligerents, whatever.

Finnish-German Co-belligerence, a thing that had happened when it became clear that the German-Russian Pact hadn’t been so ironclad that it had appeared to be. The two dictatorships had gone to war with each other. Perhaps the two would now destroy one another and the world could just go by and forget them?

Germans, what a lovely bunch they were. Billy thought with a huff. He had formed his opinion after meeting some Germans. Yes, most of them had been decent fellows but many, too many, had had that condescending attitude towards non-Germans. Kessler was an excellent example of the said type.

It was utterly absurd that Finland had to align itself with Germany, it didn’t make sense; one was a small Nordic democracy, the other was a dictatorial superpower, but needs must.

After the Winter War the situation had been, to put it mildly, precarious. When France capitulated and Germany occupied Denmark and Norway things had just worsened. There had been the option of declaring neutrality, _again_. But the possibility that both of the belligerent superpowers would honour that declaration was about likely as a man walking on the surface of the moon. Therefore the choice had been Germany; at least they were able to provide substantial support, both material and men. Not that it made the co-operation with the Germans morally any easier. Billy knew enough of the German attitudes towards the Jews before the war, what they were now, he didn’t bear to think.

 

_Helvetti sentään_.

 

“Penny of your thoughts.”

Billy jolted, head snapping to the direction of the voice; it was Tommy. He had quite the ability of sneaking up on people, like a tiger on a prowl.

“You almost gave me heart attack, shit! What have I said about sneaking up on me? One day I’ll accidentally shoot you.” Tommy just grinned and stuck out his hand and pulled his brother up on his feet; “As if. Your reflexes aren’t fast enough. So, what were you thinking?”

“Nothing special really, just, you know… life in general and all that.”

Tommy gave him a blank look. “That’s most polite way of saying that you don’t want me to know what you were thinking. So you don’t want me to know, eh?”

“Is it something dirty, something scandalous? Strapping, _naked,_ young men perhaps?” Tommy emphasized the word naked with a shit eating grin.

“No!” Billy was livid and instinctively looked around to see if someone was there to hear Tommy’s words. Of course there wasn’t, the woods around them were empty, only birds singing and light breeze rustling the fresh leaves.

“Hey, I know, we could conduct a small scientific experiment when that Kraut arrives. You could introduce yourself as Jewish homosexual and we could see how big the explosion of his head would be.”

Billy just looked to his brother with stunned expression. Tommy had gone mad; perhaps the fumes from his motorbike had finally messed up his head completely.

“Oh, and add that you are a communist, well you’re not a commie but he doesn’t know that, a Jewish commie homosexual, has nice ring to it, doesn’t it?” Tommy asked with a look more suitable to asking someone what the time was.

“Just shut up, please. Just _Shut, The, Fuck, Up_.” Billy buried his face to his hands and just groaned.

“Oh come on. Just a bit of fun, even if you are a sinful sodomite I like to have you around as a brother.” Tommy grinned. That was about the closest Tommy would ever come to say that he was sorry of something he had said, or that he loved Billy. Better just accept the sort-of-but-not-quite-an-apology.

“Sure. So was there something important or what?” Billy grunted back.

“You were supposed to relieve Oskari fifteen minutes ago and I need to take this message to Mikkeli.” He patted the dispatch satchel slung over his shoulder. “So if you need something picked from there think quickly because I’m about to leave.”

Billy glanced at his watch and it indeed showed the time to be quarter past one; he hadn’t even realized the passage of time. Time flew when you had fun, well not fun, but when you were lost in your thoughts.

“No I’m good, drive safely though, mum would kill me if something happened to you.”

Tommy just gave him a sort of an amused look. “As if I’m the one who is in risk of getting hurt. Don’t you remember; I’m the smart one and you are the awkward, clumsy one.”

Billy just flipped him off and Tommy left and chuckled, smartass as he was.

Billy wiped away the pine needles that had stuck to his trousers and headed back inside, it was actually getting a bit hot out in the sun and Billy loosened his tunic's collar. He put the unread book back on its shelf in his room and decided to take his tunic off completely and just go about in his white shirt only. The classroom, where the radios and other equipment were kept, or like Oskari put it, where the magic happened, was already quite warm thanks to the sun blaring through the large windows. He had also shed his tunic in favour of the more cool and comfortable shirt.

“You’re late.” Oskari said while stretching his back and making a content sigh when his spine made a popping sound.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I just didn’t realise the passage of time, the book I was reading was just so interesting.” Damn if he was going to admit that he had just spent a good hour just in his thoughts, Tommy and Oskari already made quips about him sometimes being a bit aloof.

“What was it about?” Oskari asked with a knowing grin. Billy didn’t answer.

“Well anyway, I managed to intercept a Russian message, nothing terribly important, really. Something about troop re-positioning but I sent Tommy to deliver it, he needed to stretch his legs anyway. I also told him to stop by the supply depot as the larder is looking a bit empty and the supply lorry won’t be here until the day after tomorrow. We might get something extra if Tommy asks politely.”

“Well in that case we’re not getting anything, Tommy isn’t exactly known for his polite manners.” Billy chuckled. “In fact, they might out of sheer spite postpone the lorry’s arrival.”

“You might be right; your brother isn’t always the most amicable one.”

“I think you mean that he is an annoying prick and that we’re fucked.” Billy grinned.

Oskari laughed. “Oh, by the way, I wrote down a few of the frequencies that have been quite active today. So you might want to focus on those ones. No need to monitor our boys’ message, though; in yesterday’s one they told that the mission was successful and that they are heading back, no further contact would be required.”

“Okay, thanks. Go take a nap or something, you look knackered.”

Oskari left with a yawning nod and left Billy to man the radio. He put the headphones on and dove right in to the world of radio waves. The hum and swooshing of radio carrying him to his own realm, hand confidently spinning the dial in search of active frequencies and periodically checking the ones Oskari had advised him to. World around him disappeared, mind focused to this single task and all other thoughts from his head gone. Peace of sorts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teddy is not a Nazi, just to be clear.  
> (Reason for this is explained in the later chapters.)
> 
> If you read this first chapter, thank you. This is my first dapple in any kind of long writing process and you probably guessed that. The main, very general, plot points of this story are set, but nothing more concrete than that. This means that there won’t be any kind of regular uploads, I’m writing this as I go. Also, this story is a way for me to relax and to get rid of random bouts of creativity. The next chapter will be up in a week or two; it just needs a bit of polishing. After that however, updates it will be more random. Leave comments and suggestions, this is an ongoing process and fresh ideas are always appreciated.
> 
> Reason why uploaded this story today is, that same-sex marriage is legal in Finland as of today, first of March 2017. Yay!


	2. Chapter 2

///\\\\\

 

**May 20th 1942. Near Mikkeli, South-Eastern Finland**

“Mikkeli, next station is Mikkeli!” Theodore woke from his sleep with a jolt when the conductor, a man with smallish stature but with an impressive set of lungs, entered the carriage shouting. Theodore gave a quick stretch to his stiff muscles after the rather uncomfortable, though needed sleep on the wooden bench. The journey had taken considerably longer than he had expected it to take, more than a day to be exact. He had left on the previous day before noon and was just now, on the following day at half past two arriving at his destination. The journey had been uneventful, just stations, towns and villages passing by. But Theodore had used his time on the train the best way he could, by taking naps and sketching on to his small notebook. Drawings and sketches of people, houses and landscapes filled the pages of it.

He was particularly pleased with one of an old woman, she had worn a scarf on her head and her hands had looked like gnarled tree roots, but her smile and laughter, they had been a sight to behold. She had laughed so joyously when her travel companion had told something amusing to her. Theodore thought that he had managed to capture some of that joy of life on the paper quite well, though pencil only got you so far. It was ages since he had had an opportunity to use proper pastels, let alone to be able to sit in front of a real easel with proper oil paints.

_Damn_ , he would be more than pleased just to have a larger sketchbook and a simple set of watercolours. Perhaps he could buy some from Mikkeli, though he doubted that a town of its size would have a proper art supply shop, hopefully there would be at least a well-stocked stationery store there. And if there wasn’t, well, then he would be the best pencil artist in the world by the end of this wretched war.  

The train lurched a bit when it started to slow down as it approached the station. People begun to collect their belongings and put on their coats and hats, most were travelling light with paraphernalia that you only might need when travelling from a one town to the next. Theodore on the other hand wasn’t as lucky and gave an exasperated look towards his own luggage, hauling them from one carriage to another had been a nightmare when he had changed trains in Oulu. He really should have left more of his belongings back to Rovaniemi, but when your earthly possessions were already meagre, leaving anything behind felt just wrong.  

A pair of Finnish soldiers, on leave probably, finally quit the card game with which they had occupied themselves for a good two hours, one of the players looked much more pleased than the other and collected a pile cigarettes from the suitcase they had used as a substitute table. Theodore smiled, bigger things than cigarettes had been lost while playing cards and that was the main reason why he tried to avoid card games like they were the plague. There was always someone better at them than you, either at playing or at cheating.

The train finally pulled to a complete halt with a slightest of screech, and people started to head towards the doors. Theodore remained seated for a moment and after most of the passengers had left the carriage he finally followed suit with his luggage.

The station platform was full of people going to and fro, some boarding the train and others rushing through the doors of the small wooden neo-renaissance station building, most were soldiers of course, Mikkeli was the town where the headquarters of the Finnish Army were located. Theodore weaved his way through the crowd that had filled the station house up to the rafters and headed to the front side of the building; his instructions had been to wait there until someone would pick him up. He fished out a paper from his pocket, major Kaarna would be his Finnish commanding officer. Technically he was under the command of the local German liaison-staff, but because he would be stationed with Finns it was easier that his immediate CO was a Finn. 

The sun was really starting to make its presence known, after the relatively cool temperatures of Lapland, the plus twenty something weather in Mikkeli felt absolutely scorching and Theodore had to wipe his brow with his handkerchief. After about fifteen minutes, the front of the station was empty, the train had left ages ago with a shrill blow of its whistle and only Theodore remained, boiling in his rather thick winter tunic. Finally after ten sweaty minutes, a dark grey car pulled to a halt near Theodore. A man in his fifties stepped out and headed straight towards Theodore, who immediately took attention.

“Lieutenant Altman, I presume.”  The man spoke in accented German, pronouncing the words carefully in a way that showed that he knew the language but had little practice actually speaking it. “I’m major Kaarna, welcome to Mikkeli. I hope your journey wasn’t too arduous?”

“ Thank you major. I’m glad to be here and the journey went fine, thank you for asking.” Just to be safe Theodore was still standing in attention. “I can speak some Finnish, so we could use it. If you would prefer it, sir?”; Theodore  asked in Finnish.

Major Kaarna’s face morphed into a pleased expression. “You speak Finnish, excellent!  That makes things easier for us. Your superiors told us that they were sending someone to work with us but they didn’t mention anything about your language skills.”

“At ease, lieutenant.” Major Kaarna waved his hand. “ The men you will be working with, two of them do speak German, but it will be easier for all of us if you can speak Finnish. Makes the job a hell of a lot easier, especially for you when you can actually speak with your colleagues in their native language.”; major Kaarna smiled.

“I suppose it does, sir.” Theodore chuckled.

Major Kaarna glanced at his watch; “Well, we should get going. I promised to the boys that you would be there today; they have been undermanned for two weeks already, so they are rather eager to have a new set of hands on the deck, so to speak.”

Kaarna headed back towards the car. “You can put your luggage into the boot of and then we’ll head to the supply depot. I was told that you are in need of some new equipment, would that be the case?”

“Yes, a matter of fact it is, sir. They told me to take only my personal belongings and that I would be given a new set of equipment once here, so I wouldn’t mind a change into something bit more weather appropriate.” The small rivulets of sweat beading down Theodore’s neck were becoming rather obvious at this point.

Major Kaarna nodded “It’s unusually warm, when considering that it’s middle of May.” 

Theodore loaded his luggage into the boot and after a short ride they stopped by the supply depot of the German liaison staff where he was given some new radio equipment to be taken to the radio station and he also got his new summer uniform, which looked the same as the winter one but was lighter to wear. Major Kaarna made a telephone call in the office of the quartermaster and graciously allowed Theodore to change into his new set of cooler clothes, which he did with gratitude.

 

Their stop at the depot had been a quick affair. After signing some papers for the equipment and a change of their vehicle from a car to a lorry, so that all the radio equipment and all the luggage of Theodore’s had fitted along, they had left for the new posting of his.

Theodore was sitting next to the major at the front seat, still enjoying of the feeling of his new lighter tunic. Unfortunately however, the lightness was the only redeeming quality of it. The sleeves were a bit tight across the upper arms and the light fabric strained against his chest. “ _All the tunics your size are at the laundry._ ”; Had said the man at the depot.

_Great, just great._

Thankfully the air rushing through the open windows provided a glorious constant cool flow of fresh air that kept the temperature inside the lorry pleasant. Whether the major had left the windows open because he was smoking a pipe himself, or because he took pity on the melting lieutenant, Theodore didn’t know. In any case, he was grateful to have a moment of respite from the sweltering heat. Glint from the lakes, that just beckoned him to have a swim, littered the landscape. No sooner than one lake, or rather one part of the same lake had disappeared behind a hill or a forest, the next one was coming in to view.

Of course he had studied some maps before coming here, but only now was he starting to understand why this part of Finland was called Finnish Lakeland. The vast stretches of open water, really put in shame the lakes back in Berlin. Wannsee and Tegeler, were both starting feel like glorified garden ponds when compared to these lakes. Their drive through the forested countryside was quiet. Major Kaarna had kept the conversation to minimum, asking a question or two occasionally and nodding to the answers given by Theodore.

About fifteen minutes after their departure from the depot Theodore finally manged to ask of the matter that had troubled him for a while.

“Major, if you don’t mind me asking, whit what kind of men will I be working with?”

Major Kaarna puffed his pipe. “They are great lads, I think you four will get along nicely. They’re all about your age so I’m sure you will have a lot to discuss. Girls, sports and all that, at least that’s what I did when I was your age!” Major laughed and elbowed Theodore to his side.

“Yeah, girls.” Theodore grinned, and only those who really knew him might have noticed the hollowness of his answer.

 

\- -

 

_The water from the moss he was lying on was slowly seeping through the front his trousers and tunic. Whatever was hidden behind the treeline was still firing at them, making sure that most of the company remained close to the wet peat. Billy knew that they had to keep moving, staying put was the worst thing to do, but he couldn’t move, just couldn’t. The smell of stagnant bog water, blood and gunpowder mixed into a repulsive odour that filled his lungs and just made him heave and tremble even more. His left hand was clasping a lump of soggy moss and in his right hand, the pistol remained silent._

_“Ensign_ _Kaplan, we must push forward!” Over the sound of the battle sergeant Karhu was shouting at him from somewhere near. “We can’t stay here; we must get the fight to the enemy! Ensign Kaplan ..._

 

Billy awoke, feeling starteled.

“Ville. Ville!” Oskari was banging Billy’s door.

“Ye-, yes! What is it?” He managed to answer with a shaky breath, still feeling a bit wobbly from the dream.

“Kaarna called about twenty minutes ago, he’s bringing the new bloke with him. They were at the German depot and were just about to leave, so they’ll be here any minute now, just wanted to give you a heads up.”

“Okay, thanks.” Billy rubbed his face with a sigh. “Did you tell Tommy to clean up? I don’t want him to look like a vagrant when our new resident Kraut arrives.”

“Yeah, he’s sprucing himself up, with a grumble though.”

“Good, I’ll get myself also ready; I’ll be out in a bit. Thanks Oskari.”

Billy rose to sit on the edge of his bed, and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. The same damn nightmare playing almost every night and now apparently during naps too, _vittu_.  He was so fed up to live that same day again and again. He pulled his boots on with a resigned sigh and stomped over to the wash basin, leaned against it and hung his head low, breathing in few shaky gulps of air.

He poured some cool water from the jug into the washbowl and rinsed his face with pleasure. The water felt like heaven on his clammy face, washing away the sweat. It was ridiculous really, whenever he had that damn nightmare he on same time shivered like he was freezing, but also sweat like a marathon runner. After the quick wash, he glanced at himself on the mirror; the sight didn’t exactly lift his moods. His dark hair, which was still ruffled from his sleep, made a rather poignant contrast to his pale skin, though that wasn’t really the issue, everyone else was also pale after the winter. No, the issue was his eyes, or rather, the bags under them. He was like a walking advertisement for sleeping pills. God, he would give his right arm for a few nights of sound, dreamless sleep.

_No time to feel sorry for yourself Kaplan_. He thought to himself with a huff; _Onwards and upwards_.  

After moment of staring at himself on the mirror he put on his nicer tunic, the one he wore when on leave and when he was called to the HQ for briefings. He didn’t bother to change his trousers, they looked smart enough. After trying to tame his hair into something bit more presentable, Billy headed to the classroom to see if Tommy and Oskari were ready.

They were. _Good_.

Oskari was watching over the equipment and Tommy, as usually, was lounging on the bench against the wall. He had managed to find only a slightly rumpled tunic to wear and had actually shaved, even though he didn’t really need to. Thanks to the fact that even his facial hair was more or less the same colour as his hair. That meant that he could go couple of days without a shave. No such luck in Billy’s case, he needed to shave daily or he would start to look like a tramp. 

“Is this really necessary?” Tommy grumbled from his place of rest, hands under his head. “It’s not like we are the Guard Battalion’s honour guard at the Presidential Palace.”

“Yes, this is necessary, let’s try to look a bit more professional and not like we’re having a picnic.” Billy said, while looking at his brother.

“But I like picnics.” Tommy grinned “Don’t you?”

Billy just rolled his eyes “You’re hopeless.” and turned his back at his smirking twin.

“Hey, Oskari. Anything new to report.”

“No, not particularly. Today is a quiet day really, no news on the western, well, on the _eastern_ front.” Oskari turned on his chair to face Billy and Tommy. “Let’s hope that no news is good news.”

“Yeah, let’s do so.” Billy agreed “So, Kaarna called, what, a bit over three o’clock?”

Oskari nodded “Just about half an hour ago, so they should…” Oskari craned his neck to look past Billy and nodded again towards the yard “be here right about now, speak of the devil.”

Billy turned to look, as a black lorry turned from the main road towards the school.

_Asemiin!_ Billy thought to himself. “Sergeant Raappa you stay here and man the radio. Corporal Kaplan you come with me and help with his luggage.”

“Oh, it’s _corporal_ now, how very formal.” Tommy said, still lying and doing absolutely nothing.

“Tommy,” Billy gave an exasperated look towards his twin; “just go outside.”

“Yes sir! Shall I carry you around, sir? Lick your boots clean, sir?”

“Tommy!”

“Alright, alright! I’m going.” He huffed, jumped up and headed towards the hall. “But I’m not the bloody porter in here, this isn’t the Kämp Hotel! I’ll help to carry his stuff to his room, but that’s it.”

“I wasn’t asking you to polish his boots.” Billy groaned.

“Well good, because if that Kraut tries to order me to do that, I’ll tell him where he can shove his boots and orders.”

Billy just gave a tired sigh; Tommy could be so damn irritating at times.

Billy turned back to Oskari; “Oh, by the way. There might also be a new radio with them. Kaarna has promised to replace the Telefunken with something that works properly.

“Yes!” Oskari exclaimed. “That Telefunken is a piece of shit; it burns up valves like they are cigarettes. I hope it is the new ASA, Mäkinen from the HQ was telling me about it last time we met, it puts out 1,8 watts, has frequency range of  3000 - 6000 kHz and…” Oskari droned on.

_The man sure loves his radios_ ; Billy thought with a smile.

Tommy was at the door, leaning against the door frame and Oskari was still happily spewing on the technical data of the radio.

“Okay lads, let’s try to put our best foot forward and give our new friend a good first impression of us.” Billy said while buttoning his tunic’s topmost buttons.

Tommy gave a dissatisfied scoff and walked outside while muttering something. Billy quickly put on his command belt and side cap, better to look the part of a commanding officer than just to feel like it. After taking couple of deep breaths to calm himself, he walked outside to greet their new liaison officer.

The weather outside was warm and sunny but not unbearably so; it had been for days now, better it than some late vestiges of a winter storm, year earlier the spring had been delayed; snow covering the ground here and there.

Billy stepped down the few granite steps and headed towards the car that was parked next to the outbuilding, Tommy was talking with major Kaarna and both were smiling, Kaarna actually chuckling at something that Tommy had said. Billy liked Kaarna and so did Tommy, most people under his command liked him, all of them really. He was one those archetypal Finnish officers, well-liked by his men and disliking the ridiculous insistence of formality and perfect-proper addressing so treasured by most other armies in the world, especially the German one.

Speaking of Germans, there was a man in a German uniform squatting next to the car, his back towards Billy, searching something from his backpack and Billy decided to head to him and introduce himself. The man stood up and Billy’s step faltered just a bit, he was tall, a good bit taller than Kaarna or Tommy who were standing close by. That meant that… _great, just great_ ; Billy thought. The German had to be at least half a head taller than him, maybe more than that.

His back was wide with broad shoulders, the back tapered down to strong looking midriff and his legs that looked like the tree trunks didn’t in any way pale in comparison to the rest of his bulk. Even from behind he could see that the man carried himself with confidence that Billy knew he himself was sorely lacking. But what really draw Billy’s eyes in were his arms, _dear fucking god_ , his biceps were probably the size of Billy’s thigs. Well-fitted sleeves of his tunic, which were loose at the elbow to allow free movement, clung tightly across the biceps and his back. The light fabric strained against the man’s muscles and did nothing to hide the rippling muscles when he stood up. Had they send them a heavy labourer instead of a radio-operator?

Billy almost felt himself shrinking. He hadn’t felt so damn insignificant in a long while and that was saying a lot when he was brother to a _successful-athlete-probably-a-narcissist_ Tommy. It wasn’t like Billy himself was small or gangly; he was just so… average. Average height (just about), average looks, hell, even his grades in school had been average. He was the dictionary definition of the golden mean, not ugly but not in any way striking, a person that blended into a crowd.

And now; _now_ he would have a Greek sculpture walking about. He’d actually have to give orders to someone who could probably snap him in half like twig, if he would choose so. “ _Saatanan perkele.”_ Billy muttered under his breath.

But this wasn’t the worst part, no, why should it be. Billy actually found this man attractive and this was just from watching him from behind. Suddenly he was thinking what it would feel like to be held by those strong arms, how he could caress that strong back, just glide his hands down to and grab… NO, no, _nonooo_. This kind of thinking was dangerous, very dangerous; it was criminal and not understood nor accepted. _Fuck!_

He just had to push these thoughts down, down and away, and play his part and things would be easier for everyone. _Jesus fuck Kaplan, get it together. It’s really not the time to ogle someone’s ass;_ Billy berated himself internally.

Kessler had also been of similar build, not extraordinarily handsome but still, he had caught Billy’s interest. That however had changed very quickly; the man had turned out to be an arrogant prick. So at least it had been relatively easy to forget his looks and just be annoyed by his attitude. Perhaps this new man would be like Kessler, easy enough for the eyes but a proper wanker. Billy _almost_ hoped that this would be the case.

All of this and more criss-crossed in his head in a concoction of nervous thoughts and trepidation in the short seconds he walked up to the man, up until to the point when the man turned around and looked at Billy.

Someone apparently saw it fit to throw a spanner in the works of Billy’s mind and all of his cognitive functions ground to a complete and sudden halt.

_Blue._

The man’s eyes were blue, the same blue that the sky was in late July nights when everything else just melted away and the only thing that was left behind was the vast, endless blue arch of the sky. Billy wanted to lose himself into those eyes. And that smile… it, it was like the sun, bright and honest and so, _so_ good. Billy felt like he could just bask in the light of that smile for hours on end, do nothing else and still be completely content.

The smile subsided, the man was now looking at Billy with a curious look on his face and Billy’s daydreaming mind suddenly sprang into action. His insignia showed him to be lieutenant; well at least they were of the same rank which gave some measure of comfort to Billy.  

“ _Leutnant, willkommen auf Signal Station drei_. _Ich heiße William Kaplan, leutnant und Kommandant dieser Station._ ” Billy introduced himself and gave the man a salute.

“It is a pleasure to be here, lieutenant. I am Theodore Altman, lieutenant also.” He saluted back and extended his arm to give Billy a handshake.

Billy was taken aback a bit. “You speak Finnish.” He smiled and shook Altman’s large hand which enveloped Billy’s one pretty much completely. Still, they slotted together like pieces from a jigsaw puzzle, the handshake itself was firm and warm. It felt nice. Billy had half expected Altman to squeeze his hand in to mush, just to show which one of them was the stronger one.

“I do actually, might make things a bit easier for all of us.” he laughed and looked down and then back at Billy with those beautiful eyes of his and smiled again, their hands were still firmly clasped. Billy quickly let go, a slight blush creeping up from under his collar.

“Yeah, it probably will. Anyhow, I’m more than pleased that you are here lieutenant; we have been undermanned for a while now and your arrival should make things a bit easier.” Billy managed to reply.

 “I hope I can be of use, I would hate to be just a waste of space.” Altman smiled pleasantly. “So, how many men are stationed here, is it just you and the corporal?” He asked and nodded towards Tommy, who was hauling Altman’s luggage inside. “Or…?”

“It’s actually three. Well, four now that you are here, there’s you and I of course, sergeant Oskari Raappa our radio-operator-extraordinaire and handyman, he is inside manning the radio and then there’s our dispatch rider corporal Thomas Kaplan.”

Altman raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Kaplan… are you two related? If I may ask?”

“Yes we are actually. Tommy is my twin brother, not identical though, as you can see.” Billy nodded towards his brother who was coming back outside to carry the new radio in.

“Yes, your hair isn’t exactly the same.”

“I know it’s a bit unorthodox solution to have two brothers serving together like this, but it has worked thus far so…” Billy shrugged.

Altman smiled with that winning smile of his and took off his side cap to wipe away some of the sweat from his brow and revealed a bright golden hair, cleanly undercut, it made him look even more perfect. The man looked more and more like a Greek god.  Billy’s knees almost buckled.

“Sounds lovely, must be great to have someone you can trust so close.”

“Yeah, it is.” Billy nodded while swallowing thickly and trying not to rake his eyes across the body of the man standing in front of him. That tunic was just too small for him.

Billy coughed slightly to clear his throat and continued; “I hope your journey here wasn’t too arduous, traveling between cities during wartime is always a bit of a challenge.”

“It went easily enough. From Rovaniemi to Oulu I was on a military train so there weren’t that many stops, but from there on it was a passenger train and well…” Altman huffed and ran his hand through his beautiful hair “There sure were a lot of small towns and villages by which the train stopped. But at least I had some time to view the scenery, though I must admit.“ He leaned down towards Billy as if to tell a secret. “After seeing about ten million pines, they all start to look the same.”

Billy snorted; “You are absolutely right! But hopefully you will appreciate the pines around here.”

With a grin he waved his arm towards the pines surrounding them. “They are far superior to anything you might have seen on your journey here. Much more… how would I say it, piny?”

Altman nodded with mock seriousness, “Yes, very exquisite pines indeed.” then burst out to laughter and it was even better than his deep but soft voice. It was like music to Billy’s ears.

Billy laughed too but his thoughts were already occupied by another matter. If his first feelings of this man were true, he seemed to be rather nice, pleasant even. Combine that with Altman’s dashing looks and… bugger. Billy was so buggered. Falling to another man would be bad enough, but a blue eyed blond German one…

Sure, Billy had made some stupid decisions and done ill-advised things in his life but this was a thing he could not do, to fall head over heels for a Kraut, a perfect specimen of the “Aryan übermensch”, no matter how beautiful, it would be suicidal.

Of course Billy had felt miserable in his life more often than he cared to admit but he was in no way hurry to shuffle of this mortal coil he called his life.  He was more than keenly aware of how the Germans felt about his kind, doubly in his case. A Jew and a homosexual. Tommy’s joke of the two things a couple of days earlier had felt almost funny, but now it just filled Billy with trepidation. Former one would probably come out and if that one would make Altman feel ill at ease, then fine, it’d be his problem not Billy’s or Tommy’s, he could shove his opinions of the Jews where the sun didn’t shone. They were in Finland, not in Germany. The latter one however, that was a completely different matter. That could never be revealed, Oskari, the army, no one would understand his homosexuality, especially not Altman. At best, things would be hushed and he would be re-assigned to some other station or be sent to the front, at worst he would be discharged from the army and be tried in court for indecency. Neither option was a particularly appealing one.

Billy was pulled back from his thoughts by hand that had landed on his shoulder; major Kaarna had walked over and patted Billy on the shoulder.

“I see you two have introduced yourselves.”

“We have, major.” Both lieutenants answered at the same time and major Kaarna laughed.

“It appears that you two are getting along splendidly.” He said and turned to Altman. “Kaplan here is one of my finest officers so you two should get along swimmingly in future too. I hope that your duties here are clear; we were supposed to have you stationed in Mikkeli for few days so that you could have had the chance to get your bearings. Unfortunately however, this station has been without a liaison officer for far too long so we had to rush things with your posting. But Kaplan here should get you familiarised with our ways soon enough.”

“I’m sure he will, major.” Altman nodded.

“Very well. Now, if you’ll excuse me gentlemen,” he glanced at his watch “I must be in Mikkeli by five. If I leave now I can enjoy a quick dinner before my meeting with colonel Mäntylä.”

“Of course sir.” Billy answered and then both lieutenants gave a salute to the major who hopped back in to the lorry and drove off.

Billy turned back to Altman “So… again, welcome. Let’s get you inside so that we can get you settled and introduced to sergeant Raappa and to my brother.”

“Certainly, lead the way.” Altman smiled. Billy had to force himself to turn away and walk towards the front door, instead of just staying there and ogling the man. Altman’s smile was again filled to the brim with good will and kindness. “ _He’s a German, he’s a German, he’s a German. Do not get any ideas._ ” Billy went on again and again in his head, it didn’t work however. He was already slipping and he knew it perfectly well.

They entered the schoolhouse’s small entrance hall and turned right, to the classroom where Tommy was again lounging on the bench but actually stood up in a rather sloppy attention when Billy and Altman entered.

“Lieutenant Altman, my brother and our dispatch rider corporal Thomas Kaplan.”

“Sir.” Tommy acknowledged him with a nod, looking like he could not care less who the man was.

“Corporal.” Altman nodded back with a smile to Tommy and extended his hand; Tommy looked at the hand like he was being offered a hand grenade but shook it anyway. Altman’s smile wavered a bit under Tommy’s scowl.

Billy turned towards Oskari, who had lowered his headphones and stood in attention too, waiting Billy to introduce him also. “Sergeant Oskari Raappa, our radio-operator and go-to guy when you need something fixed.”

“Lieutenant, it’s a pleasure.” Oskari nodded and smiled.

“Likewise sergeant.” Altman smiled back and shook Oskari’s hand.

“So,” Billy clapped his hands together; “As you can see this is the hub of operations, the radio room. It also functions as our living room, dining room and basically as any other type of room one might seem fit. We more or less spend all of our time here. When we are on duty we are here of course and when we are not, well, even then we stay here. You can stay in your room if you want of course, but that tends to grow dull rather quickly. Main reason though why we stay here at the school is that there really isn’t much do hereabouts; the village down the road doesn’t have anything of interest in regards of entertainment. It is quaint enough but once you have seen it, that’s about it.” Billy shrugged.

“Is it far away? Altman asked.

“No, about one and a half kilometres that way.” Billy nodded towards west.

“Perhaps you could show it to me sometime?”

“I would be hap… I mean we’d be happy to show it.

Tommy was looking at Billy in a way that showed that he knew exactly what was going on inside his brother’s head.

Billy just avoided his brothers gaze and turned to Altman; “How about I show you to your room, you must be feeling rather tired, especially after spending a night in the train. They really aren’t the most comfortable places to sleep.”

“They really aren’t,” Altman huffed and rubbed his neck. “I think got some kind of crick on my neck; the wooden benches really are the worst. So yes, I’d be happy to see my room.”

“Okay. Tommy, did you,” Billy turned towards his brother who had snuck back to his trusted bench and was lying there, hands under his head.

Billy sighed; his brother really was the dictionary definition for the “not a care in the world” attitude.

Best foot forward. He had only asked Tommy to act with a semblance of professionalism for a day or two. Which Billy now in retrospect realised, was a ridiculous request for his brother to fill.

Billy sighed again. Altman was watching them both with a bemused smile.

“Did you put lieutenant Altman’s belongings into the middle room like I told you to?”

“Yup, they’re there like you asked.” Tommy popped the p in annoying manner.

“Good.” Billy sighed. “Lieutenant Altman, this way please.” Billy said and headed back to the hall with Altman on his heels and through a door opposite to the one leading in to the classroom. The door led to a corridor that headed right,

“These three rooms on the left are our rooms, this one is mine.” Billy pointed to a door opposite to the one leading back to the hall. “The last room is shared by Raappa and my brother, so that leaves the middle room for you.”

Altman nodded “Those two doors on the right, where do they lead to?” He asked.

“The one furthest away leads to the kitchen and the middle one is a broom closet, we keep extra paper, valves and, well, brooms in there.”

“Shall we?” Billy held his hand on the handle of the door to Altman’s room.

“By all means.” Altman smiled down at Billy.

The room was same size as Billy’s, except it was lacking in furnishings. There was only a desk with a chair in front of it, a small cupboard and a bed with a rolled and tied up mattress. Altman’s belongings were placed at the foot of the bed. The room was somewhat uninviting, at least when compared to Billy’s one. However, the soft afternoon glow that came through the window with a half curtain gave the room a slightly more pleasant feel.

“It is a bit… Spartan.” Billy grimaced. “We can get some furniture’s from the attic; bookshelf and an old armchair would make the place a bit more inviting.”

“It’s fine, as long as it is dry and relatively warm it’s enough. More than enough really, I have not had my own room in ages so this is quite luxurious to me.” Altman beamed.

“Well I’m glad to hear.” Billy smiled back. “The bed is also quite comfortable, at least when compared to a regular army bunk, let alone to a bedroll on the ground.”

“Lieutenant Altman,” Billy turned to Altman with more serious look on his face. _Confident, be confident_ , _show him who is in charge in here._

“The way we run things here… it might be more relaxed than the way you are used to. I personally find that brotherly relations to people serving under you, no pun intended.” Billy gave a small smirk “They work better than a strict adherence to rules and proper addressing. So basically, the distinction between the NCOs and the officers does not exist for me. Of course you as an officer have the right to demand proper addressing from them and order corporal Kaplan and sergeant Raappa to perform tasks that belong to their duties, but anything outside that is voluntary to them. So, if you want your boots polished you just have to do it for yourself.”

Billy hoped he looked authoritative enough.

Altman nodded and smiled; “I think I can handle them not calling me _Herr Leutnant_ all the time.”

“Good.” Billy nodded back. “Well, I leave you to settle down and if you need something just ask.” Billy turned to leave, but swirled back and went over to the desk, bent over and pulled a stack of paper, a pen and an ink bottle and few pencils out from one of the drawers.

”You might find these useful.” He placed them on the desk. “One good thing at being a radio-operator is that you never run out of paper, lot of things to write down. Though, you probably know that yourself too.” Billy smirked.

“Tell me about it.” Altman laughed. “Back in training I was always lending paper left and right. All the time someone wanted to write a letter or needed something to sketch on. Or they needed to go to the lavatory…“ Altman gave a knowing look.

Billy smiled wryly; “Yeah, I miss paper that is soft.”

Both men grinned.

“But hey, now you can write all the letters you want.”

“No need for that, really.”

Billy’s brow furrowed; “Wouldn’t your family like it?

“No one back home to write to,”; he said quietly. “But I appreciate the thought.” He smiled weakly.

First Billy wanted to hug the man and tell him that things were going to be fine and then he wanted to kick himself in the groin for being an insensitive prick. He did neither thing.

_Great Billy, just great. You really have a knack at putting your foot in your mouth. Saatanan urpo._ Billy scolded himself.

“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Billy grimaced and rubbed his neck.

“That’s alright, you didn’t know.”

Both men remained quiet for a moment.

“Lieutenant Kaplan;” Altman suddenly said. “You said that you are quite informal here. Would you… would you like if we were on first name terms?”

Billy was surprised. Kessler had been with them for three months and had been barely comfortable when Billy addressed him without his rank before his last name. Tommy and Oskari had always addressed Kessler by his rank.

Billy smiled. “I’d like that.” He put out his arm, and Altman clasped it with his larger one a second time that day. “William Kaplan, but my friends call me Billy. Well; they call me Ville but I prefer Billy.”

“Billy,” Altman said with a warm smile, “I like it.”

He squeezed Billy’s hand bit more firmly “Theodore Altman, but people call me Teddy.”

“Teddy, really?” Billy asked with a surprised grin. “Not the most Germanic of nicknames as they come, eh.”

“No, I don’t suppose it is.”; Teddy shrugged and grinned.

They were still holding hands. It was apparently coming a bit of a habit that Billy clung to Altman’s, _no_ , to _Teddy’s_ hand, longer than it was necessary or appropriate. Teddy didn’t seem to mind however, he just smiled.

“I guess I should unpack.”

“I…, yes, of course.” Billy unclasped his hand from Teddy’s. “I leave you to it and if you need something, just ask. Dinner is in about an hour, in the classroom.” Billy managed to sputter when he quickly retreated from the room with all the grace he could muster, which probably wasn’t much. 

He leaned against the wall with a groan and buried his face in his hands as soon as he closed the door behind him.

Teddy left him flustered in a way that no one had before. _Helvetti sentään_! They had barely met and here was Billy acting like a smitten schoolgirl.

“Get a fucking grip Kaplan.” Billy muttered to himself when he headed towards the kitchen to get the stove lit.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what this ugly duckling of mine will grow up to be, probably not a beautiful swan. But, if it grows to be a rather fetching looking goose then I’ll be happy. 
> 
> Of the grammar of this story: I probably mix Finnish and English rules on the use of commas quite often (all the time), forgive me. I try to clean the grammar to the best of my abilities, but there’s bound to be some errors, either by accident or me just not knowing stuff, so please, do point out (and laugh at) my mistakes.
> 
> Command belt = Sam Browne belt.
> 
> Fun fact! (Or at least quite interesting): In Finnish Army you don’t salute indoors. For example, when passing an officer in a corridor you simply make an eye contact with them and you nod, they nod back and you both go about your business without stopping. Why? Because you don’t salute someone without a hat, cap etc. and (gentle)men DO NOT wear hats indoors. Ever.
> 
> If you are interested to learn more of Finnish wartime history, the Wikipedia is a good place to start. Here are some links that might interest someone: 
> 
> Background of the Winter War: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Background_of_the_Winter_War  
> Winter War: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_War  
> Interim Peace: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interim_Peace  
> Continuation War (during which this story is set): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuation_War  
> History of Jews in Finland: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Jews_in_Finland
> 
> PS. The random Finnish words in the text are mostly curse words; I thought it appropriate not to translate them. But if you really have to know their meaning, here is a link to Wikipedia page about Finnish profanities (contains NSFW language, obviously):  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finnish_profanity
> 
> PPS. April is going to be all-work-no-play moth for me, so next update will be who knows when. Fear not however! When I started to write this thing, I promised to myself that I will finish this story. It might take some time because my muse is a fickle being and I’m a slow writer, but I won’t leave this story hanging indefinitely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s alive!
> 
> This story lives! Well, it wasn’t really dead; I’m just a slow writer. But that being said, Hello! 
> 
> It’s been awhile, so I hope you will find the chapter at least somewhat entertaining after such a long wait. It’s been over four months and all my plans that I had over this chapter went arse over tea kettle, not in a bad way per se. What was supposed to be a relatively calm spring and early summer turned into something very different, and I was kept busy by a whole slew of different things. Also, one thing that kept me away from the computer was my painful close encounter with the pavement. The front wheel of my bicycle decided to declare its independence from the rest of my bike and thus yours truly went arse over tit over the handlebar and landed on his sorry arse on the aforementioned pavement. One awesome backflip, bruised ego, and a broken tailbone later, sitting was somewhat unpleasant experience.
> 
> I hope that the length of the chapter makes up, at least in some small way, the lengthy wait. I’m not completely happy with the chapter; it could use some more polishing. But few things in this life are perfect, so here it is, chapter Three.
> 
> PS. People have thought this story to be worthy of thirty presses of kudos button. Thank you!
> 
> PPS. For the completion of this chapter I would like to thank Earl Grey tea and the absolutely foul weather we’ve been having this summer (coldest summer in a decade).

///\\\\\

 

 

Teddy had not been looking at Billy’s bum when he had bent over to pull out a stack of papers from the desk’s drawer. No he hadn’t, definitely hadn’t been looking at that pert little bu-

_Stop it! Stop it right now Altman._

Teddy slumped to the chair with a heavy sigh and groaned. He was buggered, screwed and every other suitable expression there was to the situation at hand. Attraction, that’s what he had felt the moment he had laid his eyes on Billy. The Finnish lieutenant was absolutely beautiful, with his raven hair, soft honey brown eyes and the slightly shy, adorable smile that had lingered on his lips when they’d shook hands the first time. And that bum, it…

_No._

“Jesus.” He muttered and groaned again. And what the hell had that shit about not having a family been? No one wanted to hear sob stories ten minutes after meeting you.

_You’re a damn fool, Theodore._

Teddy stood up and tried to push the lingering thoughts of Billy away, instead soaking in the atmosphere of his new room. It was quite spacious; at least when compared to the one he had shared with Hoffberg in Rovaniemi. The walls here were lined with greenish Jugendstil wallpaper, stylized plants and flowers as the main motif. The floor was painted light grey and the cracks between the individual planks were clearly visible.

Teddy liked the room already, even if it was lacking in furnishings. On the right side of the door there was a tall, round and tiled masonry heater that probably shared a flue with an opposite one in Billy’s room. It looked similar to the one in the classroom, though this one was white rather than grey. On the left side of the door there was a small cupboard and when Teddy peeked in, there were couple of blankets, bedsheets and a pillow inside. There was no need for his bedroll, so he unbuckled the straps that kept the roll tied to his backpack and tossed it into the cupboard. 

He walked over to the bed and opened the knot that was holding the mattress in a tight roll; it unfurled in one swoop. Ends of it were slightly curved upwards so he flipped the whole thing over so that it would flatten properly. Motes of dust danced in the golden afternoon light, drifting softly to and fro; Teddy stared at them for a moment and relished the quietness around him. It had never been this quiet in Rovaniemi.

When he sat at the mattress he noted that it was surprisingly comfortable. He’d been ready to sleep on his thin bedroll, so having a proper bed was absolutely wonderful. When he glanced at his watch it showed the time to be quarter past four, he had an hour to waste away in his room.

_His room_! Teddy smiled. Well, quarters to be exact, army jargon and all that. Regardless, he hadn’t had a room of his own in ages; he was going to enjoy his stay in here.    

Kicking off his boots; he lowered himself on the bed and just lay there, opening couple of buttons from his tunic. It really was a comfortable bed. Teddy folded his arms behind his head and stared at the white board ceiling, breathing slowly. He had absolutely no idea how things would go from now on. Sure, the men he would be working with, they all seemed pleasant enough and would probably be civil, outwardly at least. But would he truly fit in and be welcomed? That was another question entirely.

It had hit him sometime during the previous night, while trying to find some small measure of comfort on the uncomfortable bench of the train, that this was not the way his life had supposed to have gone. In an ideal world he would have been studying in art school in Berlin or Düsseldorf, instead of that, he was fighting in a war that he whole heartedly opposed. Life generally had the habit of going in a way that it was not supposed to have gone.  Teddy sighed and left his mind to wander; thinking nothing and everything at once.

The warm afternoon sun shined through the window in warm slants of gold, making the air warm and just a little bit heavy. He really should unpack his things… but he could just rest his eyes for a moment. Only a moment. Teddy yawned and before he realised it, he was fast asleep.

 

 

Forty-five minutes later Teddy woke from his nap.

_Ugh._

He was tired, the nap had only made it worse, and little catnaps weren’t a good substitute for a full night’s sleep. What he really needed was a proper eight hours of sleep to feel rested.  Wiping the sleep from his eyes and stretching; he sat up and pulled his boots on. Billy had said that the dinner would be in an hour so he might as well head to the classroom and socialize a bit. _Billy_ … even the young lieutenant’s name was charming; Teddy smiled. He glanced at his luggage, they hadn’t somehow magically un-packed themselves, he’d have to do it later.

Teddy exited his room and headed left, deciding to see the kitchen. Entering, he gave a quick look around the room; there was a long counter against the wall on the left, sink in the middle of it with a window above it and tall cupboards on both sides of the said window.  A door on the opposite side of the room was ajar; it led back to the classroom. On the inner wall there was a large masonry stove in one corner with a large box of firewood next to it and table tucked into the remaining space. The air was hot, but the window someone had left open helped a bit. There were only embers on the grate when Teddy peeked inside the stove, whatever they were having was already done apparently. He headed through the door that led to the classroom.

“Teddy.” Billy nodded and smiled pleasantly. “You’re just on time. I was just about to come and get you, please take a seat.”; Billy gestured towards the chair opposite of him. They had all shed their tunics so Teddy did the same thing and draped it over one of the extra chairs around the table. Sergeant Raappa and Billy’s brother were both already seated with plates in front of them, so Teddy plopped down next to Raappa.

There was a steaming pot of boiled potatoes on the table, a packet of crispbread and a pile of some kind of small, smoked fish on a butcher’s paper.

“It’s not exactly the pinnacle of _haute cuisine,_ but it’s tasty and it keeps the hunger at bay.” Oskari grinned at Teddy.

Teddy was just about to ask about the fish, but the sergeant had probably noticed the way he had been looking at them and continued. “If you’re wondering what kind of fish they are, they’re called _silakka,_ I’m not sure what the German word for them is but some call it Baltic herring.”

“Oh, well I’m sure it tastes good.” Teddy nodded.

“It does, so tuck in.” Oskari nodded back and busied himself with his dinner.

The two brothers had already piled an impressive heap of potatoes and fish on their plates and were removing the scaly skin from the fish with routine.

Teddy scooped some potatoes from the pot onto his plate and took a piece of crisp bread and placed it next to his plate. The fish smelled delicious but he had no idea how he was supposed to handle them. The utensil that was next to his plate also looked somewhat unsuitable to tackle the fish with; it was a spoon on the one end and a fork at the other, folding at the middle.

“Uhm… How do I exactly eat with this?” Teddy asked; looking somewhat puzzled while holding the utensil?”

Thomas scoffed and looked at him in a way that could only be described as ‘annoyed, with a hint of contempt’ and said nothing. Raappa probably didn’t even hear his question; he was much too focused with his dinner. Billy on the other hand smiled understandingly.

“You don’t use luha for the fish, it’s for the potatoes and such.”

“Luha?” Teddy cocked up an eyebrow.

“ _Lusikkahaarukka_ , spoon-fork; it’s part of the mess kit and we use it instead of the regular knife and fork. Less dishes to wash.”

“So, how do I do this then?” Teddy asked and held up one of the golden brown fish. It had its head in place, eyes and all.

“It’s a bit hard the first time, so just copy what I’m doing.” Billy said.

Teddy nodded.

Billy took one of the fish from his plate; “First the head, take a firm but gentle grip from the fish’s body and then from its head.”

Teddy copied what Billy was doing, focusing intently on the fish in his hands; it was a bit oily and smelled strongly of smoke.

Suddenly Billy placed his hand on Teddy’s; “It’s dead you know, it won’t escape.” Billy smiled softly. “You don’t have to grip it like it’s about to lunge at you.

“Oh, sorry. I guess you are right.” Teddy grinned, while something fluttered inside his chest. There was a slight blush on Billy’s cheeks, probably from cooking in the hot kitchen.

Neither Billy nor Teddy noticed the irate glance Tommy gave to both of them.

 “Just twist and pull the head off, like a cork from a bottle.” Billy said and snapped the head off from his own fish. “Like this.”

Teddy did what Billy said and the head came cleanly off. The tail fin got the same treatment.

“Good,” Billy said “and then the skin. It comes off like a paper from a present. Just peel it off.”

And just like Billy said, the scaly skin peeled off in couple of large sections, leaving behind the brownish pale meat.

“The next part is bit tricky; just push the meat down and away from the spine and the bones.” Billy just pushed the meat off the bones on one side and then on the other, leaving behind the intact spine, bones and innards. He made it look easy. But when Teddy tried, the meat just came off in small pieces.

Billy gave an airy laugh; “You’ll get the hang of it. Would you want some of mine so you won’t starve to death?” He asked with a grin.

“No thanks, I just need practice.” Teddy grinned back.

Teddy busied himself with his fish and slowly but surely got the hang of it. When he finally had enough to eat he tuck in hungrily. It was actually quite good, the saltines of the fish accompanied the potatoes well and the crispbread gave extra crunch to the meal.

“It’s good.” Teddy mumbled; his mouth full.

Taking a sip of water to clear his throat, he looked at the white haired Kaplan and Raappa; “Billy said that you would be fine if we all were at first name basis, would that be the case?”

Thomas looked disbelievingly at his brother and muttered quietly something that sounded something like ‘should have fucking guessed.’

However, before he could continue Raappa interjected; “That’s fine by me, I go by Oskari or Osku, both are fine.”

Thomas gave a dismissive look and simply said; “Tommy.” But before Teddy could answer back Tommy continued; “So, are we supposed to call you Theodore or what?”

“That’s fine, but it’s a bit formal, so I prefer Teddy.”

Tommy snorted loudly.

“Tommy!” Billy hissed and jabbed his brother’s side whit his elbow.

“Teddy, really!? You are actually called Teddy?”

“Yes, yes I am. Is it a problem?” Teddy asked, feeling slightly annoyed by Tommy’s attitude. He really was different from his brother, not just because of his white hair and green eyes, but for his attitude. He seemed to dislike Teddy for no apparent reason.

“Been to any picnics lately?” Tommy asked while trying to supress a grin.

Teddy’s brows furrowed in confusion; “Picnics? No, should I have been?”

“No, just wondering.” Tommy answered, looking innocent. He simply started to hum a very happy sounding tune that sounded vaguely familiar to Teddy.

This caused Oskari to burst out into laughter, he just leaned against his hands and shook from amusement, unable to control himself.

Billy, weirdly, was at the same time looking mortified and like he was trying to suppress laughter.

“ _Nallekarhu_.” Oskari managed to mutter between his chortles.

This had the effect that even Billy started to laugh, just sniggering there in the same way that Oskari did. All the while Tommy continued his humming, mixing whistling in there occasionally.

Teddy just sat there looking dumbfounded, trying to comprehend why the dinner had descended into a cacophony of chortles and snorting laughter.

“Umm… Billy? Why are you laughing?”

“Sorry.” Billy managed to say, while trying to wipe the tears from his eyes. “I’ll explain in a moment, just give us a minute.”

A moment later Oskari and Billy had managed to calm themselves, while Tommy looked incredibly smug and pleased with himself.

“So… would someone care to explain what all that was about?” Teddy asked; his eyebrows were raised in questioning manner.

“It’s…“ Billy looked slightly guilty. “It’s this English song about bears having a picnic.”

“Bears having a picnic, what’s funny in that?”

“It’s a picnic of _teddy bears_.” Billy said and gave a small smile at Teddy.

_Oh_. That’s why the song had sounded familiar. Teddy had heard it before, but the lyrics had always been in English.

“Okay, now I get it, good one.” Teddy looked at Tommy and grinned. “You’re like a _Tommy Gun_ ; short in size but loud.”

Oskari and Billy snorted simultaneously, grinning like mad.

Tommy just glowered at Teddy.

 

The rest of the meal was relatively quiet affair; few occasional exchanges of words, but other than that, there wasn’t much chatter. Teddy didn’t really know how he should react to the song. Tommy might have intended it to be hurtful, but Billy and Oskari hadn’t sounded derisive in their laughter; it had been friendly teasing, rather than derisive mocking. So he should probably feel good that they felt comfortable enough around him to laugh and make that kind of jokes.

Oskari had finished his meal first and left the table after noticing an incoming transmission. Tommy had left to deliver it to Mikkeli, leaving Teddy and Billy to clear the table. They had carried the dishes back to kitchen and Billy was standing in front of the sink, pushing up his sleeves.

“Would you get some water from the well?” He asked and looked at Teddy over his shoulder. “We’re too deep in the countryside to have running water.”

“Of course.” Teddy grabbed two large buckets. “Whit these?” He held them up.

“Yeah, pump is at the end of the building, light blue thing, can’t miss it.”

Teddy went outside and filled the buckets to the brim; carrying them back inside, carefully, as not to spill any on himself or onto the floor.

“Thank you.” Billy smiled at him. “It’s nice to have someone helping. Oskari’s skills would go to waste if I would put him on dishwashing duty and Tommy is a lazy sod.”

“Couldn’t you just order him to do it?”

“I could, but it’s just quicker if I do this myself. He’s the type of fellow who can convince you that _you_ are being unreasonable when asking him to do his share. He’s a bastard.” Billy glanced at Teddy with a grin. “Don’t get me wrong, he is an irritating little shit, but I love him regardless.”

Teddy just chuckled.

Billy poured the water from the first bucket into the sink and then added some hot water into it from the large kettle that had been simmering on the stove.

“Would you pour the rest in there, please” Billy nodded towards a large pot that sat on the small kitchen table with some tin mugs and a ladle next to it.

“Here?” Teddy lifted the lid off.

“Yup, that’s the drinking water. It’s easier this way, no point in carrying around the canteens. The dark green mug with a white stripe is Tommy’s, the black one with a red stripe is mine and the blue one is Oskari’s. There is an extra one in the cupboard, the green one.”

Teddy took the green mug out from the cupboard that Billy had gestured to; he poured himself a mugful and drank it, putting the mug next to the others. But before he could turn back, there was a piece of cloth hanging off his head; Billy had thrown a dish cloth at him.

“Mind helping me a bit more? The dishes aren’t going to dry themselves.” Billy grinned at him. “Or are your soft officer’s hands too delicate for this kind of excruciating manual labour?”

Teddy snorted. “I think I can manage.” he said and flexed his arms.

Teddy didn’t notice the way in which Billy raked his eyes across his body, nor did he notice the delicate and brief blush that crept to Billy’s cheeks when he handed him the first plate for drying.

“Here?” Teddy opened the wall mounted cupboard in front of him.

“Yes.” Billy nodded.

There was silence between them for few minutes but when Billy was finished washing the last plate he spoke again. “I hope that you didn’t take offence when we laughed at the table.”

Teddy looked at him and Billy looked just a little bit remorseful.

“We didn’t… Well at least I didn’t mean anything ill with it. It was just a bit of fun, but anyway; sorry.”

Teddy smiled gently at him “None taken, if someone is going to make fun of my name, it is good that the joke is at least a novel one.”

“I’d hate if we were to become mortal enemies on the first day we met.” Billy replied and handed the last plate to Teddy. 

“Me too, but it’s not like there is any reason for me to suddenly start hating your guts.” Teddy said while drying the plate and putting it among the rest of the clean ones.

“Hmhh.” Billy hummed quietly back at him and pulled the plug from the sink, looking silently out of the window while drying his hands.

 

\- -

 

Billy was in his room, looking out of the window at Teddy. The German had been with them for a bit under two weeks now and had proved out to be a decent fellow. He carried out his duties diligently, was fun to be around with and never said anything negative about anything. All in all, he was one of those rare things, at least outwardly, a good man.

And this was the problem; Billy was gone, he was so gone. Swept away by the good looks and the nature of the man; Billy constantly felt hot under the collar. If Teddy would have been a pompous, uptight arse like Kessler or even just a relatively regular man, Billy would have been fine. But no, he was so, so infuriatingly… _Fuck_. Billy didn’t even know which adjective would be the most fitting in describing the man; redoubtable, honest, good with a capital G, anyone of them fit.

Billy had tried to talk himself out of liking him, but no matter his logic, he couldn’t quite crush out the fluttering feeling in his chest. Whenever he thought of Teddy smiling at him, laughing at something he said, or stretching himself after manning the radio for a good while in a fashion that made his muscles clung against the shirt in a positively mouth-watering way, Billy felt jittery in his stomach. And he hated it. It was so stupid! So dangerous! But he couldn’t choke it out. Teddy had him hook, line, and sinker, and Billy was going down hard, whether he wanted to or not. He tried to tell himself that Teddy was only going to hurt him in the end, that when he would eventually find out that he was a Jew, things would get awful. He tried to sear it into his mind that this was leading nowhere! And even if he swung that way, why would Teddy even want him anyways? Plain and boring Billy alongside the perfection that was Theodore Altman; not going to happen. But still, whenever Teddy crossed his mind, while on duty, at dinner, during the evenings when he was alone in his room, Billy couldn’t help a tiny, hopeful smile.

Billy sighed heavily and leaned against the window sill, looking at the golden god amongst them. There he was, without anyone asking or Billy ordering him to, chopping up the logs that the supply lorry had dumped on the yard. In two days Teddy had managed to reduce the large pile of wood into more manageable pieces of firewood. He had singlehandedly done the work, that if done by Tommy, Oskari, and Billy himself, it would have taken them at least three or four days.

Teddy was standing in the yard, braces of his trousers loosely hanging off his hips and the sleeves of the white undershirt rolled up, his large biceps pulling against the cloth. The way in which that shirt clung to his sweaty skin, revealing the minute movements of the strong muscles underneath was just _so_.

If Billy’s artistic talents weren’t limited to stick figures he would have painted the scene in front of him a thousand times already.

As Billy continued to watch, Teddy grabbed yet another log, placed it on the chopping block, swung the axe and split the log in half. Then took the halves and split them in half and started over again with a new piece of wood. He was like a machine made of flesh and bones, repeating the same cycle over and over again. Stopping only occasionally to take quick sips of water from his canteen, his blond hair glinting in the sunlight and pronounced Adam’s apple bobbing up and down when he tilted his head back a bit. Simply put; Teddy was an epitome of masculine beauty.

_Up, down, up, down,_ Billy just watched the axe’s motion and Teddy’s body with rapt fascination. He could watch the movements of that strong body for hours, just marvel the strength contained in those bulky muscles; the play of them across his shoulders under his white shirt, the bunch and flex of his biceps, the subtle twist of his wrists. His stamina seemed endless. _Up, down, up, down._

Suddenly, the axe got stuck into the log; it must have been a particularly knotty piece of wood. Teddy pried the axe off and swung it again; the log didn’t split but the crack grew wider and deeper. Billy could see that Teddy’s brow furrowed and his strong jaw did that move-to-the-side thing that people usually did when they were deeply considering something. Billy himself had that look on his face whenever he tried to solve a particularly hard crossword. Teddy pulled off the axe a second time and just frowned at the offending log. Maybe he would get a saw or throw the unyielding log aside, that’s what Billy himself would do. Instead of that; Teddy simply lifted the heavy log against his chest and with a slight effort pulled the obstinate piece of wood in half, his biceps straining against the rolled sleeves in an almost obscene manner.

“Oh god.” Billy groaned involuntarily and took unsteady step backwards, trying to catch his breath, his heart hammering in his chest and the blood rushing to his cock. _Hitto!_ He could not have an erection now, that… that would be so wrong. Still, Billy pressed his hand against his crotch, and through his trousers palmed his straining member. Hard.

_So good, it felt so fucking good_!

Before he could help it, Billy’s mind wandered down the forbidden path.

_What if it was Teddy; looking down at him with his beautiful blue eyes. He would press his strong body against Billy’s, crowd him against the wall and whisper something in his ear, maybe… maybe he would graze his teeth against Billy’s ear in a way that would send shivers down his spine. Teddy’s strong hands, hands that could probably rip him in pieces, would glide across his body and one large hand would cup his ass, where it would slide upwards and settle on his hip, it would stay there confidently, possessively. All the while the other hand would gently but firmly tilt Billy’s head so that their eyes would lock. Teddy would ask permission, of course he would; he was so, so good. And Billy would acquiesce, perhaps with a hoarse yes or with a small whimper and Teddy would smile gently and hum in pleasure. He’d just pull their bodies even tighter together and Billy would wrap his arms around Teddy’s strong neck; Teddy would lean down, their breaths would mingle and…_

“What are you doing?”

Billy nearly had a heart attack.

It was Tommy; he was looking at him like he knew exactly what his brother was thinking about.

“Fuck! Don’t creep around, it’s damn annoying.” Billy huffed and kept his front turned away from Tommy, for obvious reasons he needed a moment.

“I don’t ‘creep around’, if you are too lost in your thoughts as not to notice someone entering your room, it’s hardly my fucking problem.” said Tommy and sat on Billy’s bed, looking at his twin in calculating manner. “You’re a soldier, shouldn’t you be aware of your surroundings all the time.”

“We’re fifteen leagues from the front; a surprise Russian attack is hardly an issue.” Billy huffed.

“You never know, but I’ll ask again, what were you doing?”

“Nothing, just looking out of the window.”

“What were you looking at?” Tommy leaned against his knees in a manner that indicated he was not going to leave before he received a satisfactory answer. “Whom were you looking at to?”

“I… No one, I was looking at no one.” Billy muttered; he could feel the flush of embarrassment creeping up his neck and cheeks.

“You can’t lie for shit! You were looking at _him_ , weren’t you!?” Tommy spat.

Billy couldn’t see his brothers face, but he could guess the look on his face; irritation, fury and even perhaps disappointment.

“I…” Billy couldn’t speak.

“I should have guessed.” Tommy huffed and Billy knew his brother well enough to know that he was gesturing wildly with his arms. “You’ve been pining over him since the day he got here, haven’t you?”

Billy didn’t say anything.

“You don’t need to answer, I know you too well.” Tommy grumbled. “It has been Teddy this and Teddy that from the day one.”

“I’m just being friendly.” It didn’t sound convincing even to Billy himself.

Tommy gave a small, mirthless laugh. “Friendly, _friendly_!? Do not try that bullshit with me Billy. I know exactly what’s going inside that noggin of yours. You are picturing walks in the woods with him, Teddy kissing you silly, you two being sweethearts and all that shit.”

Tommy’s voice grew cold and silent; “Teddy fucking you through the mattress while you moan like a whore.”

Billy shuddered.

“Don’t. Just… don’t.” He managed to whisper through his clenched teeth.

“I can deal with you liking a bit of cock. So what if you want to take it up the arse; that’s fine by me. It’s not my place to judge. But a German, Billy!? A  fucking kraut!” Tommy hissed.

Billy didn’t say anything, he couldn’t. He just stood there with his fist clenched, nails digging into his palms.

“They… _he_ , hates us. Doubly in your case.” Tommy sneered. “Just wait until he finds out that we are Jews, what do you think will happen?”

Billy could feel Tommy’s gaze on his back.

“Hmm?! What. Will. Happen?”

Billy didn’t answer.

“Answer me Billy.”

“Teddy wouldn’t, he wouldn’t. He hasn’t said anything like that ever. He has been nothing but kind and considerate.” Billy whispered.

Tommy laughed coldly. “Look at him.” Tommy suddenly sprang up from the bed, stomped over and grabbed Billy by the scruff of his neck; forcing him to look at the man out in the yard, instead of the windowsill he had been looking for the past few minutes.

“Fucking look at him!” Tommy ordered. “Blond, tall, blue eyes and a strong jaw. Hell, I’m not like you and even I can see the appeal, so do you think that others haven’t. Do you think that he isn’t full of that bullshit they have been feeding to the Germans for years? Perfect specimen of the fucking Aryan race.” Tommy hissed darkly.

“I’ll bet you 1000 marks that the only reason he hasn’t started to spew forth that racist crap, is that he doesn’t even realise that he is serving with couple of Jews. Just wait and see; that golden boy of yours will turn into something nasty when the cat’s out of the bag. I’m almost waiting it to happen because I can handle it, fuck, I would _love_ to make him squirm because there’s nothing he could do. Hell, I could start to wear a kippah out of sheer spite.”

Tommy released his steely grip on Billy’s neck with a sigh and placed his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“But it’s not me I’m worried about.” Tommy continued quietly, almost gently. “It’s you I’m worried about. You’ll only get hurt Billy, even you must realise that. Even if Jews aren’t a problem to him, what are the chances that he isn’t bothered by,” Tommy gestured with his free arm. “You know…”

“Me being a queer?” Billy muttered quietly.

“Yeah, that.”

Billy didn’t say anything and his posture sagged. Of course he knew what the chances of that were; infinitesimally small.

They stood there for a moment without talking; just contemplating in silence.

“The sauna is ready by the way, that’s why I came here in the first place.” Tommy finally said.

“Take Teddy to sauna and you’ll be on a level playing field. It’s a bit hard for him to start ranting about racial purity when neither of you don’t have a stitch of clothing on you. Also,” Tommy grinned. “He will probably keel over because of the heat. I’ll bet you another 1000 marks that his delicate Teutonic ass can’t handle the heat.”

“I guess I could do that.” Billy shrugged. “If you are right about him, it’s not like there are going to be a lot of chances for me to see him naked. I should, you know, at least try to get new material for wanking. _Harder Teddy, harder_!” Billy made a mock moan and grinned wryly at his twin.

Tommy just pulled a face; “You’re disgusting.”

“Well, you’re the one who started to talk about fucking.”

Tommy walked over to the door, but before he left he glanced at Billy and gave a small smile; “Take your damn Kraut to sauna.” Just before closing the door he added, not looking at Billy. “I will always have your back Billy, remember that.”

“Love you too, Tommy.” Billy replied gently.

Tommy just grunted and left.

Billy looked outside and saw that Teddy was heading back inside. _Syteen tai saveen perkele sentään._ Billy thought and grabbed his towel, fresh change of clothes and washing kit and headed to the hall.

 

\- -

 

Teddy walked back inside and when he got to the hall, stretched his back and gave a satisfied grunt. He’d feel it tomorrow, he was sure of it. Teddy wasn’t exactly unfamiliar with hard work, but the repetitive swinging of the axe in the last couple of days had left his neck and shoulders sore, especially on the right side. He would have to stretch them thoroughly tonight, or manning the radio tomorrow would turn into a rather unpleasant experience. Drawing also would become somewhat hard, and it would be even harder to finish a sketch of Billy he’d been trying to perfect for day’s now. He just couldn’t get the curve of Billy’s mouth just right.

But first he needed a fresh shirt and as he was about to enter his room Billy burst out from his own.

“Sauna.”

“What?” Teddy frowned in confusion.

“Sauna. You are coming to sauna with me.” Billy said.

“I am?”

“Yes, you have skipped it two times already and I’m determined to show what a great thing it is.”

Teddy had indeed skipped the sauna a couple of times already, not because he was afraid of the heat or the general nudity, hell, he was in the army and the first thing you lost was the sense modesty and shyness towards nudity. No, he was afraid of being naked around _Billy_ when he also would be without a stitch; what it would do to him when he could see that lithe body in all its glory. The few vivid dreams he had had of Billy, they had been… _exhilarating_. But it was mortifying to have this kind of dreams with sticky results as an adult.

_He wasn’t some damn teenager and still… here he was reacting to Billy like he was._

“Maybe I shouldn’t, my back and neck are a bit stiff and…”

_For god sake Altman! Try to come up with something bit more convincing._

Billy’s expression actually lit up. “That’s great! I mean it’s not nice to have a sore back, but sauna will get it nice and relaxed. You’ll love it, I promise.”

“Come on.” Billy coaxed. “You’re not going to die. If you burst into flames I promise I’ll throw you into the lake.”

_I might burst into flames but not for the reasons you think of_. Teddy was about to say, but luckily managed to keep his mouth shut.

 “Okay, fine. I’ll just grab my stuff.”

_What could possibly go wrong?_

_Yes, what?_

Teddy grabbed the things he needed from his room and together with Billy they headed outside. The weather was pleasantly warm, soft breeze made the air fragrant with all sort of smells and the soft hum of birches and pines filled the air. White wagtail was hopping across the yard and when the two men approached, it took off like a rocket.

The walk to the sauna through the trees was a quick one; the sauna was about forty metres from the school building on the shore of the lake. It was a small building made of squared logs and painted red, with white board trimmings at the corners and around the windows. The view from the saunas small jetty had been absolutely stunning the first time Teddy had seen it; several kilometres of glinting open water in front of him and puffy cumulus clouds rolling lazily across the sky.  His fingers had itched to have a chance to paint the vista. Unfortunately the ever present lack of paints, or even watercolours, had thwarted that plan. However, he had some good sketches of the scenery and would definitely use them the next time he’d have the chance to sit down and paint.

Teddy hadn’t actually been inside the small sauna before this, he had just taken quick showers at the German barracks at Mikkeli, when he had had business there.

When they stepped onto the small wooden patio that was between the building and the small jetty, Billy sat down on a wooden bench and took off his boots. Teddy followed suit.

“Is this some type of ritual thing? No shoes into the sauna because it’s sacred, or…?” Teddy asked, feeling intrigued, while pulling his boots off.

Billy chuckled “No, it’s just to keep the gravel and dirt out, makes the cleaning bit easier. Also,” Billy raised his other boot. “If we take these into the dressing room the aroma in there becomes… interesting.”

Teddy sniffed his own boot and grimaced “I do like leather boots. You know, they are comfortable and practical to wear, but the ventilation in them is just appalling.”

“Tell me about it.” Billy nodded in agreement.        

They entered the small building and Teddy was surprised how comfortable the small dressing room appeared to be. The walls were plain wood without any paint, but the logs had been hewn smooth with a broad-axe. The furnishings were also plain and unassuming; simple wooden benches on three walls with wooden pegs above them for clothes and a small table next to the door that lead to the sauna proper. Billy dropped his stuff on one of the benches and walked over to the table to light a small oil lamp. Even though the sun was still shining, inside the sauna it was somewhat dim; thanks to the fact that the buildings small windows looked over the lake and towards east.

After Billy managed to light the lamp, the room was illuminated with a soft, yellow glow and Teddy allowed himself to look at Billy for a moment. He was trying to get the lamps wick to burn at a right height and did not notice that Teddy was watching him. The soft glow from the lamp left Billy’s features in gentle relief.

He was so beautiful and all Teddy wanted to do was to tell it to him, to touch him and hold him. It was so wrong to think this way, so wrong. But he couldn’t help himself; wouldn’t. All he could hope were friendly pats on the back and handshakes. He could never have Billy in the way he truly wanted and desired, so, he dreamed. He was a weak and horrible and awful, but he dreamed regardless.

“Penny for you thoughts.” Billy nudged him and Teddy jolted a bit. “You were somewhere far away, weren’t you?”

Teddy gave a small huff; “You could say that.” and ran his fingers through his hair.

“So… clothes off, right?” Teddy asked and tried to sound casual.

_You can do this Altman, just breathe._

“That’s the general idea.” Billy glanced at him. “But if you feel uncomfortable you can wrap a towel around you, I don’t mind.”

“No, I’m good. It’s not like in the army you don’t see nudity.”  The moment Billy took off his shirt and Teddy could see his lithe torso in its full glory, his breath hitched. He glided his gaze across Billy’s upper body, trying to store every little detail into his memory, the sharpness of his collarbones, that lithe musculature, those few scars on his right arm near the shoulder, everything.

Billy was a work of art.  

His pale skin glowed in the soft, ember light of the oil lamp and Teddy shuddered when he imagined what it would feel like if he were to run his hands on that delicate skin and to pepper it with soft kisses. There was a fine dusting of dark hair on Billy’s chest that formed a light trail down towards his navel and from there it went even further down as a narrow trail, leading the eye down, down, _down_.

Instead of fantasizing more, Teddy quickly averted his gaze and started to pull off his own clothes. He kept his eyes firmly on the opposite wall, not daring to even glance at Billy. He slid off his braces and slowly started to unbutton his own shirt. Both Billy and he had left their tunics back at the school house; the weather was far too warm to wear them constantly. Teddy took off his own shirt and folded it neatly, he’d wash it later. He was so focused on not looking anywhere else but the wall that he didn’t notice when Billy walked at the door leading into the sauna.

“Coming?” Billy asked over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I just…” The words in his mouth died and Teddy swallowed thickly. Billy’s arse was there for the whole world to see; it looked even better without any clothes. Abruptly Teddy jerked his eyes away and his sore neck protested with a short stinging pain.

“Just a moment.” he managed to mutter back.

Billy nodded and went in, allowing some of the hot air from the sauna to roll into the dressing room.

Teddy felt hot and it wasn’t the puff of hot air that made him feel that way.

“Fucking fuck.” Teddy hissed and stared at the floor. He couldn’t leave; it would be so fucking obvious why he was leaving if he left now; Billy would probably guess. He had no choice, he would have to do this and hope that his body didn’t fail him.

He took off his remaining clothes and walked to the door, resting his hand at the handle. There wasn’t any kind of locking mechanism on the door, it just slotted snugly against the frame to keep it closed. Teddy studied the woodgrains on the door for a moment, took a deep breath, pulled the door open and headed in.

 

Hot.         

Jesus fucking Christ it was hot!

Hot and dark to be precise, the walls were slightly darkened by soot and the oil lamp and the window didn’t give enough light to completely cut through the dusk. Even the wooden floor felt warm under Teddy’s feet.

Teddy let out a shuddering breath and looked around; left to him in the corner there was a stove like structure with stones on top of it that was source of all the heat. Next to it, nearer to the door, there stood a large cylindrical cauldron, or at least it looked like one. Its lid was gently vibrating; the water inside was boiling. Under the window there was a wooden bench, similar to the ones in the dressing room; Billy had left his bar of soap on it. There were also large wooden pail type-of vessels full of water, that looked to be somewhere between a very large bucket and a small barrel.

Opposite of the stove and the cauldron were the elevated benches and Billy was sitting on the topmost one. Teddy climbed the steep steps up and the heat only intensified, they were so close to the ceiling that he couldn’t stand straight. The sweat was already starting to roll off his brow.

Billy was sitting on a long piece of linen cloth and it looked like there was enough room for Teddy, but just to be safe he sat on the naked wood.

He regretted it immediately and jolted back to his feet with a hiss.

Billy snorted and patted the cloth; “This is here for a reason, wood might be a poor conductor of heat, but in these temperatures sitting on it without anything between it and your ass is going to be uncomfortable. So,” Billy patted the bench again “Sit.”

Teddy sat next to Billy and it felt much better than the bare wood.

_God, he was so close to Billy._

“Better?” Billy asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Teddy agreed.

“So, is this your first time in sauna?”

“Yes, it is actually. Of course I’ve seen pictures of them, of the benches and all that, but I haven’t been in actual one before.”

“Have you tried to avoid it for some reason?”

“No, not really.” Teddy shrugged.

_Yes I have, but I can’t tell you the real reason._

“Well I’m glad that I can work as your guide to the wonderful world of sauna.” Billy smiled. “First things first, let’s brush up that Finnish of yours with some new vocabulary. These ‘benches’ are called _lauteet_ , singular is _laude._ That is _kiuas_ , Billy pointed at the stove thing, and next to it is _pata_.

“Lauteet, kiuas and pata, got it.”

“And now were going to introduce you to _löyly_.”

“What’s that?” Teddy asked, while rolling his shoulders. The constant pleasant heat was starting to unwind the knots in his muscles.

“This.” Billy smiled almost wickedly and with a ladle-like scoop, poured, or rather threw water on to the kiuas stones.

There was a hissing noise when the cool water hit the rocks, within seconds a wave of moist heat crept up around Teddy’s ankles and over his legs before enveloping his whole body from head to toes.

Teddy bent almost in half, trying to get away from the warmth but when the initial shock passed, he straightened with a satisfied groan and the feeling that was left was absolutely wonderful.

“That’s löyly. So, how did that feel?” Billy asked with a small smile.

Teddy leaned back against the warm wall and gave another pleased grunt and glanced at Billy; “You could have warned me, but that being said; Wonderful, it felt damn wonderful.”

Even if it was quite dark, Teddy could see that Billy beamed at him; “I’m glad that you like it. More?”

“Sure.” Teddy kept his eyes closed and relished the feeling when another wave of heat hit him.

The laude moved a bit but Teddy kept his eyes closed; he could feel Billy settling against the wall and raising his feet on the short railing that prevented people from falling down and landing face first on the floor.

_If I would look now, I could see_ everything; _the whole of Billy._

Teddy didn’t look.

 

They remained silent for a moment, until Teddy spoke again; “Billy?”

“Hmm.”

“How hot it is in here, I mean I know it’s hot, but what is the actual temperature?”

Billy straightened and glanced at a thermometer on the wall; “About 85 °C.”

“Damn. Feels hotter, I don’t think I could bare this if it were any hotter than now.”

Billy chuckled. “In that case try to avoid sauna with Tommy, he likes it even hotter, usually around hundred or even above that.”

“Hundred degrees Celsius, that’s the boiling temperature of water.” Teddy frowned. “What’s the hottest temperature you’ve been in?”

Billy shrugged nonchalantly. “About 120  °C.”

Teddy looked at Billy with a disbelieving expression.

“You people are mad.”

“Yup.” Billy snorted. “How’s your neck and shoulders by the way.”

“They’re…” Teddy rolled his shoulders and flexed his back. “They’re actually starting to feel better.”

“I told they would.”

Billy kept trhrowing water on the kiuas every few minutes and they continued to talk quietly. Billy hadn’t stated that they had to be quiet or anything like that, but in the soft gloom and the general atmosphere it just felt natural to talk softly. 

 

After a while Billy stood up. “Next the good part, swimming!”

He squeezed himself through between Teddy and the railing and climbed down. Teddy opened his eyes after Billy had passed, and even in the low light he could see Billy’s body glistening, beads of sweat rolling down his back. Teddy willed his mind to think anything else but Billy’s glorious nakedness and headed after him.

When Teddy stepped on the small wooden patio he could see and hear a mighty splash, Billy had jumped into the lake with a grace of a cannonball and when he finally popped back above surface he was laughing and shook the water from his hair.

“Coming or did you get cold feet?” Billy asked with a smile while looking at Teddy, who could have sworn that Billy’s eyes lingered on him for moment too long to have been purely innocent.

“I’ll show you cold feet.” Teddy laughed, took a few quick strides and hopped off the jetty, right next to Billy and sent a deluge of water at his direction. The relatively cool water felt invigorating on Teddy’s heated skin.

 “Could have given a bloody warning.” Billy managed to splutter when Teddy surfaced and wiped the excess water from his eyes.

“Warning?” Teddy grinned. “And why would have I given that, this was payback for what you did in there. Now we’re even.”

“Fair enough.” Billy huffed and turned on his back and began to do lazy backstrokes along the shoreline.

Teddy himself turned and swam towards the horizon and noticed that the water got slightly warmer when he left the area where they had been churning it. Further away from the shore he got, quieter the world around him grew. The hum of trees ceased and the singing of birds also; the only sound was his breathing and the gentle lapping of water.

The silence was finally broken by Billy calling at him; “Teddy! Don’t swim too far! If you manage to get yourself drowned I’m not going to drag your sorry arse back on dry land!”

“Yes mother!” Teddy called back.

Teddy glanced and saw that he was much further away from the shore that he had intended to swim and turned back. He could see Billy standing on the jetty and turning to head back inside and decided to do the same thing himself.

When he got back inside Teddy noticed a glass pitcher full of water on the table with two glasses. He poured himself a glass and downed it with a couple of gulps. Rarely had water tasted so good. Teddy entered the sauna proper and climbed back to his spot next to Billy, whose eyes were closed, but he opened them when he noticed Teddy.

“I hope you noticed the water, it’s important to keep yourself hydrated.”

“I did, thank you.”

“Although, I’d kill for a cold beer, sauna and a beer, or two, are an inseparable combination.”

“Alcohol in the army, isn’t that against the regulations?” Teddy asked with mock seriousness.

“Why lieutenant Altman, you are indeed correct.” Billy replied with a prim proper voice. “Dappling with alcohol while in service is highly unbecoming behaviour for an officer. Am I to assume that you would report of my behaviour if you were to catch me with such beverages?”

“I might be persuaded to look the other way.” Teddy tried to keep his expression serious.

“In that case, if I happen to stumble upon a crate of beer I shall gift few bottles to you. Deal?” Billy grinned.

“Deal.” Teddy grinned back. “So, have you actually seen a crate of beer lately?”

“I wish!” Billy barked. “Everything is rationed, alcohol especially. I think it was around new-year when I last drank beer. Tommy had managed to get his hands on a few bottles so we enjoyed ourselves.”

“Small pleasures of life.” Teddy mused.

“Very small.” Billy hummed. “But I take what I can get in this damn war.”

“Here, here. I’d toast to that but they say that toasting with water brings bad luck.”

Billy glanced at him. “Are you superstitious?”

“Nah. Not more than your average person.”

The scars on Billy’s right arm that Teddy had noticed in the dressing room had left him wondering, could he ask about them or would that be rude? Teddy hoped that Billy wouldn’t mind if he were to ask, so he asked.

“I noticed those scars on your shoulder when we undressed. Do you mind if I ask where you got them.”

Billy turned to him, his expression surprised but not angry.

“Oh these,” Billy rubbed them with his left hand. “Souvenirs from my first battle, I… I'll tell you about it sometime.” He said quietly.

It was clear that the subject was somewhat sensitive issue for Billy.

“I, umm… I haven’t been in a proper battle, ever.” Teddy muttered and glanced at Billy who now looked genuinely surprised.

“Some soldier I am.” Teddy smiled bitterly.

Billy smiled sadly and placed his hand on Teddy’s knee and Teddy’s breath hitched.

“I’m happy for you.” Billy said quietly, not looking at Teddy, looking instead at something that Teddy couldn’t see; he looked like he was somewhere far, far away. He probably didn’t even realise that his hand was still on Teddy’s knee and continued quietly;

“War; fighting, killing, it’s…” Billy swallowed thickly. “It’s not right and still you try to rationalise it to yourself, try to convince yourself that it’s okay to pull the trigger. That it’s either you or the other man; that you shouldn’t feel bad, but still… it changes people. Changed me.” Billy whispered. “I’m happy that you haven’t experienced it, I really am.” He said hoarsely and looked at Teddy who could only nod silently.

Looking at his own hand, Billy removed it from Teddy’s knee with a quiet ‘ _sorry’_ and pushed past him and headed outside.

“I’m going to have another dip. If you want you can start washing yourself or come with me and swim some more.”

“Nah, I’m good.” Billy clearly needed a moment and Teddy was going to give it to him. “I’ll get on with the washing.”

Billy nodded and headed outside.

Billy had said that he was happy for Teddy because he had avoided the worst the war could offer and Teddy shared that feeling with him. He hadn’t been in a battle, nor had he killed anyone, but it didn’t mean that he wouldn’t do both of those things in the future, he was a soldier whether he liked it or not. Teddy knew himself well enough that could probably stomach both, but it didn’t mean that he willingly wanted to take someone’s life, he more than shared Billy’s opinion about the wrongness of killing. But this was war, it was either him or the other man, and Teddy’s will to live more than outmatch his aversion to violence.

Teddy waited a moment to allow Billy to get outside, and then fetched his bar of soap from the dressing room. The water in the pails was bit too cold for washing, so Teddy grabbed two of the smaller buckets from under the bench and filled both of them three quarters full with cool water, using a large metal scoop that was similar to the one which was used to throw water on the kiuas. The water inside pata had stopped boiling but was still scalding hot and Teddy gingerly poured it into the buckets. The water was deliciously hot when he tested it with his hand; he poured some on his head and relished the feeling of the hot water running down his body. The showers in the German barracks spurted out water that wasn’t freezing, but always just barely lukewarm, so Teddy was going to enjoy himself. When he glanced out of the small window, he could see Billy swimming away from the shore and after a while rolling to his back and floating there, looking at the clouds.

Grabbing the bar of soap he started to lather himself up. Starting with his hair Teddy quickly covered himself in suds, trying to be ready before Billy would come back inside. Luckily he wasn’t that dirty, so a quick wash and rinse was really all he needed. Teddy tried to avoid touching his cock, but the combination of hot water and seeing Billy even further away from the shore had their effect, he succumbed and ended up giving his member a few lazy strokes. It was wrong, Teddy realised, but not touching himself for few days had done its job and he continued.  

In a matter of seconds he’d gotten a rock hard, throbbing erection wrapped snugly in his fist, pumping as quick as possible. He was already struggling to keep his moans under his breath and bit his lip; the risk of getting caught was almost as exhilarating as the pumping of his fist and the fantasy playing in his head made things even better.

_Billy would walk in and be shocked, but he wouldn’t leave. No, he’d stand there; just looking in wonder and Teddy himself would look back at the man and smirk, giving himself a few more strokes. He would stride over to Billy and kiss those plush, pink lips gently; Billy’s lips and body would still be cool from the swimming, not for long. Crowding the lither man against the warm wall and pressing his thigh between Billy’s, he’d make the man rut against him all the while drawing soft little sounds from him. After a while Teddy would end up hiking him up the wall. He’d grab that cute little ass hard and make Billy wrap those slender legs around his waist. It would feel so damn good._

"Fuck," Teddy murmured into the wall as he leaned heavily against it, soap and pre-come making everything feel gloriously slick. His breathing turning into panting. "Fucking shit." Teddy groaned.

_Billy would be smiling and Teddy would make his damn best to turn that adorable smile into one of lust and want; make Billy moan and writhe from need. He’d plunge his tongue in Billy’s mouth and ravage him, all the while Billy’s cock would be pressed between them; jutting against Teddy’s hard abdominal muscles, slick from soap and sweat and precum. Teddy would wrap his calloused hand around Billy’s length and give a few quick pulls and Billy would moan, god he would moan.  Nails would be scraping Teddy’s back and he would just fucking take Billy there and then, sink his length into that tight heat, make him mewl and beg and…_

He had tried to avoid imagining Billy when pleasuring himself but now, he had no clue as to why he'd ever deprived himself of this. Regardless of the guilty feelings, he shouldn't have let himself deny this part of himself, so he stroked harder. "Billy," he uttered, half lidded eyes fixated on the window and to Billy who was still swimming, the quietness of the room making his grunts and moans almost loud. He wished he could look away, but every part of him was frozen in place, besides his wrist.

"Fuck," he repeated, pumping harder and leaning more against the wall to keep his balance. With each stroke, those fleeting sensations of ecstasy that coursed through his body intensified, and all he could see was his beautiful Billy clinging to him.

Teddy cried out, finally shutting his eyes, an explosion of fireworks and sparkles dancing behind his eyes, riding out the euphoria of his orgasm while stars continued to dance behind his eyelids. Knees almost buckling, he panted, feeling his cock finally softening and when it got to be too much, with a shudder, he released his grip on his cock. Teddy was still breathing heavily and he winced at the sight of his come dribbling down the wall; he washed it away with a scoopful of water. He watched as the mixture of his release and soap, along with the water, flowed towards the narrow gutter that ran along the whole floor and waited for every trace to disappear, before lathering up his body the second time. He washed fairly quickly, but thoroughly, before washing his hair. As Teddy was rinsing himself he saw that Billy was swimming towards the jetty, so he poured few scoopfuls of the cold water on himself. The cool water felt absolutely glacial on his heated skin and it took care of any remaining signs of his erection. Teddy grabbed his bar of soap and rushed into the dressing room, wrapping his towel around him and sitting down, trying to look as normal as possible.

A moment later Billy entered and Teddy kept his eyes on the floor, too embarrassed to look at the subject of his fantasies.

“Did you wash?” Billy asked, he sounded normal.

“Yeah, I did.” Teddy’s answer was clipped and he fiddled with a comb he had snatched from the wash kit and still kept his gaze away from Billy.

“Well, I’m going to go in.” But before he did, he asked quietly; “Teddy, is… is everything okay?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Billy said quietly and went in.

“Dammit.” Teddy muttered. He was making things weird and Billy was noticing it. Why is it that he couldn’t suddenly act normally around the Finn, was it because of this infatuation towards Billy, guilt over the fact that such an infatuation was illegal, the fact that he just masturbated to the image of ravishing him? All of them were the reason, probably.

Billy had left the door to outside open so it wasn’t as dark or warm as before. Not that Teddy really noticed it. He was too deep in thoughts to properly dry himself, let alone to put his clothes back on. He just sat there and pondered. Teddy finally realized that he had been sitting there for far too long when a puff of warm, pleasant smelling air hit him. Billy had finished washing himself and was standing near the door.

From the corner of his eye Teddy could see that Billy was watching him, towel in his hands drying his hair. He was just standing there, straight from Teddy’s guilty fantasies. If Teddy would now look he would see Billy, all of him. He had to look; he had to get Billy out of his system. He simply could not continue like this, couldn’t feel immense pleasure whenever he would hear Billy laughing or would see him smiling, could not feel like his skin was two sizes too small when Billy sat next to him, it had to stop. Above all he had to get over the fact that he would see Billy naked, they were in the army, it would happen and he simply could not shut down every time Billy was out of his clothes.

_You have seen men naked before, just act normally._

_But it’s Billy._

_Billy…_

Teddy turned his gaze.

 

Billy was beautiful, so damn beautiful. The soft evening light that poured into the room from the open door bathed his body in soft, gentle light and if Teddy wasn’t already artistically inclined; he’d learn to paint just so he could capture the sight in front of him.

Teddy kept his gaze away from Billy’s eyes, if their eyes would now lock, then Billy would know; Teddy was sure of it. He would see the yearning, the hunger, the lust… All those feelings that Teddy had towards him and then everything would be ruined.

Billy’s eyes were still looking at him and his own eyes continuously roamed over Billy’s body; trying to remember every single detail he could, those soft looking lips, nimble fingers, beautiful pale skin that was accented so well by the dusting of dark, short hair on his thigs and chest. The way in which it formed a narrow trail towards his crotch was so irresistible that Teddy couldn’t help himself and allowed his gaze to fall further and further down. Billy’s cock looked as beautiful and perfect as Teddy had imagined it to look in his fantasies; it was nestled among the coarse, dark hair and his mouth almost watered as he imagined burying his nose in the wiry hair, just breathing in the masculine musk of Billy’s. How he would with his tongue, trace a vein that ran down the side of the cock, lick towards the head that was… _circumcised?_

Teddy’s eyes snapped up towards Billy, whose expression was now dangerously neutral.  

Teddy swallowed thickly. “You are… Are you Jewish?”

“I am, as is Tommy.” Billy replied coolly. 

“But I thought that you people…”

Billy’s eyes grew cold and hostile.

_Oh god! That came out wrong._ Teddy manged to think, but the damage was already done.

“ _You people…_ ” Billy hissed. “ _My_ people are exactly that in this country, people! People with rights, responsibilities and duties. We are like all others in this country, just trying to muddle our way through this damn war and you just sit there looking me funny. Do I make you sick, hmm?” Billy spat. “Feeling ill because you have to serve with two of _us?_ ”

Teddy sat there quietly, unable to utter a sound.

“Well let me tell you something, _lieutenant Altman_.” Billy sneered and Teddy shuddered at the way in which Billy said his name.

“I could walk to the gates of the German barracks in Mikkkeli while wearing a kippah, and start reading Torah out loud, and there would be nothing your lot could do, _nothing_. Remember that. You are in this country only because we had to choose the lesser of two evils, and unfortunately it was Germany. I don’t particularly like it and neither do many other people, but if it gives us a way to wiggle out of this war without becoming a Russian province then fine, I can do it. I can serve with someone like you; a bastard who thinks I’m not human. Even if it feels wrong, so fucking wrong. But if you can’t stomach the idea of serving with couple of Jews, then you can just fuck off!”

After his tirade Billy’s posture sagged and the steely glint in his eyes faded away.

“I…“ Billy whispered hoarsely. “I thought you were different, Teddy.”

“Billy…” Teddy managed to whisper, but Billy had already stormed out, towel wrapped around his waist and his clothes tucked under his arm.

_No, no, no! God fucking no! Billy thought… thought that he was one of_ them.

Teddy felt ill.

He had to sort things out. Immediately.

Drying his hair and rest of his body quickly, he put on the clean clothes and headed outside; sitting on the bench and cursed when the damn boot wouldn’t fit, until he realised he was trying to fit it on the wrong leg.

Teddy stomped along the path towards the school and barely noticed that the sun had dipped closer to the horizon and the world around him was bathed in the soft glow of a light filtered through the canopy of branches and leaves.

When he finally reached the schoolhouse steps, Teddy stopped and breathed in few times. God he was nervous. He had to; _had to_ , make Billy understand. Show him how he really felt about the man, tell him his true feelings.

  _True feelings? All of them? Hah!_

_Instead of hating me because he thinks I’m a Nazi; he would be disgusted for having to serve with a degenerate like me._

Teddy swallowed thickly and headed in to the lion’s den.

He went in and dumped his dirty clothes and wash-kit onto his bed and slowly walked to the classroom and stopped at the threshold.

The atmosphere was… strained.

Billy was sitting at one of the radios, dressed, wearing headphones. The linen towel was draped over the back of the chair. From where Teddy stood, he could see that his hair was still damp and that small rivulets of water beaded down his neck, making the white shirt cling to his back here and there. Billy and the whole room was basking in the soft yellow glow of the oil lamps that someone had lit and if the situation would have been something different, Teddy would have fetched his sketchbook and drawn the scene in front of him. Instead of that; he stepped in further, but immediately stopped after noticing Tommy’s glare who was sitting by the table.

“Altman.” Tommy said; his voice dangerously calm and collected, eyes full of vitriol.

“Tommy.” Teddy managed to mumble and turned his gaze at Oskari.

His expression wasn’t outright hostile, more, if Teddy had to put his finger on it, challenging; like he was expecting Teddy to say something, try to seek support from him. Teddy just nodded at him.

Oskari didn’t reply.

“Billy…” Teddy said quietly and walked towards him, but stopped a second time when he heard a soft metallic click. Teddy turned to look at Tommy and only then realised he had a rifle and a rifle cleaning kit in front of him. He had just pushed the bolt back in its place. The magazine rested near Tommy’s right hand and it would only take him the smallest of effort to load the weapon. Teddy was reasonably convinced that he wouldn’t shoot, but still…

“I…” Teddy bit his lip nervously. ”I think I should go to bed.”

“I think so too.” Tommy said coldly; his left hand almost caressing the rifle under it.

Teddy walked out of the room with his shoulders slumped.

 

 

He couldn’t sleep.

He’d spent the last few hours just turning from one side to another, all semblance of comfort seemed to elude him tonight and of course he knew the reason well. Billy hated him now, as did Tommy and even probably Oskari, although it was only Billy’s opinion that mattered in any way. Teddy had been doing nothing but cursing himself from since the moment of his poor choice of words.

“You and your big stupid mouth.” Teddy groaned into the pillow.

He got up and stayed sat at the side of his bed, glancing at his watch at the small upturned fruit crate that was his bedside table. It was just past one o’clock. Tommy and Oskari had gone to bed perhaps two hours earlier so it was just Billy and him who were awake. Now would be the perfect opportunity to talk to Billy in private, to get him understand that he had not meant to offend Billy.              

Teddy was in the process of gathering his courage when he heard a noise; footfalls in the corridor. It had to be Billy. Tommy and Oskari had stayed in their room, Teddy was sure of it.  The steps stopped outside his room. Was Billy coming in? Teddy kept his eyes on the door, waiting it to open or a knock to make a sound. Neither came, however he heard the broom closet opening and Teddy’s nervous excitement faded away. Billy was just fetching something from there.

Teddy sighed disappointedly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, not that there were any. Making a more determined huff, Teddy grabbed his trousers and shirt and clothed himself, he didn’t bother with boots. They would just make unnecessary noise and he didn’t want to risk waking up the sleeping NCOs. Teddy padded barefoot to the door and listened quietly, the corridor sounded empty. Bill had probably found what he was after and gone back to the classroom. Teddy pressed down the door handle and stepped out, the corridor was empty; he could still back down if he decided to. He didn’t.

Teddy walked to the classroom door, it was slightly ajar, as was the door to outside to allow the pleasantly cool night air to keep the inside temperatures at a tolerable level. Standing still for a moment in the dark hall he took a steadying breath, they had become a bit of a habit lately, Billy’s effect on him was… it was… Billy had an effect on him, Teddy left it at that.

Steeling his nerves, Teddy stepped inside. It wasn’t as dark in the classroom as it was in the hall. The blackout curtains were open to allow the light of the white nights to leave everything to be bathed in a soft blue hue, strict adherence to blackout wasn’t really necessary when you could read a book without a light at midnight.

Billy didn’t notice him at first, only when one of the floorboards creaked, did he raise his gaze from his work; he was repairing one of the radios. Short-circuit or something similar that could be easily fixed.

Teddy shifted his weight nervously from one foot to another when Billy’s eyes wouldn’t leave his.

“Trouble?” Teddy asked quietly.

Billy kept looking at him for a few more seconds and then turned back to his work.

“Burnt valve needs to be changed to a new one.” Billy sounded tired, almost weary. “Oskari usually does this, but he has got a half day leave tomorrow so I don’t want to ruin it for him.”

“That’s decent of you.”

Billy replied with a small nod and grabbed the radios back plate, slotting it back to its place and tightened the small screws that attached it to the rest of the machine. He put away the small tools and grabbed the radio to put it next to the other ones.

Teddy moved closer, intending to help to lift it. Those things weighed a ton. “Please, let m-”  Before he could continue however, Billy jerked away and almost dropped the heavy apparatus.

“I’m fine.” He snapped and heaved the radio back to its slot on the desk.

Teddy took a step back and watched as Billy connected the cables to the radio, yellow glow igniting behind the dial screens.

Teddy rubbed his face and looked at Billy who was still turned away from him.

“Billy, I… We need to talk, please.” Teddy pleaded; voice small and uncertain.

“What’s there to talk about, you made your point.”

“That’s just it, I didn’t. Or rather,” Teddy was wringing his hands and tried to keep his breathing steady. “I chose my words poorly, you got to believe me. I’m… I’m not like them. Billy, please.”

“Not like who?” Billy turned and looked at Teddy in a way that clearly told that he knew perfectly well of whom Teddy was talking about.

“I’m not a Nazi.” Teddy whispered, shrinking into himself. “I hate them. I… I fear them as much as you do.”

Billy gave a small, humourless laugh.

“Like there is something you have to be afraid of. Just look at yourself, in their eyes your perfect.” Billy huffed.

“But that’s just it, I’m not.” Teddy shuddered. “They don’t like things or people that are different. They hate people who think differently from them and loathe people who _like_ different things. ” Teddy licked his lips nervously. “And I’m… I’m…”

_Tell him. Tell to Billy what you are._

_No!_

_Tell him._

_But it’s… It’s wrong.  I’m wrong, sick, degenerate. Pervert._

_He’ll understand._

_No he won’t. He won’t. He will be disgusted, he will tell to someone. I’ll be demoted, thrown to prison. Shot. I can’t._

_Yes you can. Your rank means nothing to you, your friendship with Billy does. Before him your life was so empty, so horribly empty. Just tell him, you know he will understand._

_Tell him._

 

“I’m different.” It was barely a whisper. “I like different things, things that man shouldn’t like.”

Silence settled over the room and nether man said anything for a while, until Billy broke the silence.

“What are those things?” Billy asked quietly; his expression unreadable.

Teddy tried to speak, but the words just wouldn’t form and he could barely breathe. It was as if someone had placed an iron band around his chest.

_This is what drowning must feel like._

“Would…“ Billy bit his lower lip and in any other situation Teddy might have considered it adorable, but now… “Would it be correct if I were to say that you prefer the company of men over women?”

Teddy gave a stiff nod.

Billy took a step closer and just looked at Teddy. Maybe Billy would sneer and laugh, or spit on him, perhaps punch him. Teddy had experienced all of those things so his expectations were low.

“So, they hate us because we are different, you are different in one way, I’m in two ways.”

“Wha- What is the other way you are different?” Teddy managed to breathe out.

“Well, this.” And instead of punching him to the gut or sending a hail of hateful words to his direction, Billy placed his hand on Teddy’s powerful chest, reached up, and gave Teddy the softest, gentlest, the most perfect of kisses. At the first touch of lips, it was so soft that Teddy almost thought he’d missed it. But when Billy carefully licked along his bottom lip and then his tongue brushed the seam of Teddy’s mouth and all Teddy could feel was those sinful lips, his heart spilled over. The warmth of Billy’s hand bleeding through his shirt was like a firebrand and he hoped that Billy would keep it there forever and stay close so that Teddy could smell the scent of Billy, the smell of his soap and that something that was so quintessentially _Billy_.

When the kiss finally ended Teddy could only stand there gobsmacked, feelings of utter bliss and happiness coursing through him. But his state of bliss was cut short when he realised that Billy had taken a shuddery step back and the look on his face was almost one of terror.

“Oh god. Teddy, I… I’m sorry. I…”

Before Billy could bolt, Teddy grabbed his arm gently.

“Don’t be.” Teddy managed to croak. “I liked it.”

Teddy moved closer and guided Billy backwards until he leaned back against the wall and Teddy was practically looming over him. They were so close yet he moved closer, tilting his head as he leaned in until he could feel Billy’s breath ghosting over his own parted lips.

“You… You liked it?” Billy said, sounding breathless.

“I did.” Teddy whispered.

Teddy's large hands went to Billy's jaw, cupping it. His thumbs brushed over Billy's cheekbones, brushing against the roughness of his five o’clock stubble and the slightly heated skin below it. His eyes flickered up to find Billy's for only a second before they slid back down to his lips.

“May I”

 “Yes.” Billy whispered, and Teddy leaned in and kissed him.  

Teddy hadn't kissed anyone in a long, long time. He didn’t count the last time his lips touched someone else's as a kiss, because it was nothing but a half-hearted attempt of intimacy so long ago. He had forgotten how good it felt; being so close to someone, just to feel someone’s warmth against his own. And when he pressed in those last few millimetres and finally, finally, kissed Billy his heart sang.  

Billy kissed him back. Enthusiastically.

With the realization in mind and heart, Teddy grabbed onto him a little tighter and kissed him a little harder, a little more desperately, a little bit deeper. His lips parted, Billy following suit without hesitation and his tongue sought out his. Billy made a noise, a moan, into the kiss and Teddy pressed firmly against him, his larger, stronger body pinning the lither man against the wall, desperate for more of this man; this beautiful, wonderful man.

Teddy completely lost track of time while they kissed and he found that he didn't mind it one bit. In the moment, it was just him and Billy and their lips sliding together, tongues touching and Billy's moans and small whimpers that just spurred Teddy to kiss him just a little harder when he heard them.

Billy, Teddy learned, was very touchy when he kissed. For the whole time they kissed, Billy's hands were wandering; touching his chest and down his abdomen, touching his hips and clutching at his back, desperately pulling him closer, trying to find some purchase from the strong muscles of his shoulders. He ran his fingers of his right hand through Teddy’s blond strands of hair more than once, his left clinging to the front of his shirt like he was afraid Teddy might pull away.

And if there was something that Teddy would not do it was to pull away. He wouldn’t mind spending the rest of eternity just here; kissing the man in his arms, drawing sweet little whimpers and sighs from Billy.

They kissed for a long, long time and Teddy didn't want it to stop. But it had to stop, as much as he wanted to, he could not pull soft needy sounds from Billy until the sun would start a new day.

So, slowly and reluctantly, he started to soften the kiss and pulled away with a few, soft, and lingering kisses to Billy's wet and red lips. They were both panting a little once they parted, neither willing to go very far so their breaths mingle.

“Hello,” Teddy breathed after a beat, a smile curling at his lips when he tore his gaze off of Billy's lips and locked eyes with him instead.

Billy smiled back at him, a breathy chuckle falling from his lips in a huff, his eyes bright. “Hello to you too,” he echoed and ran his hands down Teddy's biceps, his right coming up to grab one of Teddy's that was still cupping Billy's jaw. He didn't pull it away, no. Rather, he kept it there. Like he didn't want it gone.

Teddy did not want it gone either, his thumb was drawing soft circles over Billy's cheekbone, in a slow gentle caress.

Teddy lowered his head and pressed their foreheads together.

“I thought you hated me.” He muttered quietly.

“And I thought you hated me.” Billy said quietly and squeezed Teddy’s hand. “But clearly we were both wrong.”

“So wrong.” Teddy sniggered and Billy gave a small snort.

“Though in my defence, you being a German and me being a Jew; to expect that you wouldn’t be exactly chuffed when finding out that I’m a Jew was a completely reasonable expectation from my part,” Billy’s smile lessened a bit as he continued, “And you don’t exactly look like the type of person who goes after someone like me.”

“Someone like you?” Teddy’s brow furrows.

“I mean, you know, plain, boring, not-a-lot-here-to-see type of man like me.” Billy shrugs and lowered his head, curling in on himself.

_This won’t do._

“Look at me Billy.” Teddy said and gently tilted Billy’s head up, so that he could see those beautiful amber-brown eyes fully. “You’re not plain or boring. You are smart, and kind, and good, you’re beautiful. That’s what you are Billy Kaplan, beautiful.” And Teddy hoped. Hoped so much that Billy would believe him, believe him because it was the truth; Billy _was_ beautiful and wonderful and good.

“Do you really mean that?” Billy asked; his voice just a little bit wobbly.

“I do, I really do. And,” Teddy smiled. “If you don’t believe me I just have to keep kissing you until you do. _Aaaand_ ,” Teddy continued with a grin. “I’m a very patient and tenacious man.”

“Are you now?” Billy whispered and buried his face in Teddy’s neck.

Teddy just hummed in agreement and nuzzled against Billy’s left temple, drawing in deep breaths of scent of the man in his arms. 

Neither man said nothing for a long time; both just relished the feeling of closeness, until Teddy finally spoke.

 “I think we need to have a talk. A proper one.”

“You’re right, we do.” Billy sighed and looked at Teddy in a way that can only be described as fond. “But that can wait until tomorrow.” Billy reached up and his nimble hands went to Teddy's jaw, cupping it, giving Teddy a small, soft kiss on the lips, staying there for a moment but not deepening it, finally pulling away.

“Good night, Teddy.”

“Good night.” Teddy replied and turned, walking to the door. Before he left the room he turned one more time; Billy was looking at him with a small smile lingering on his lips. He still looked tired and a bit weary, but there was also something else in his expression. It was happiness, Teddy realised.

Teddy turned and padded softly back to his room. Before he got back into bed, he grabbed a pencil and flipped his small sketchbook open from the right page, picture of Billy looking back at him. Few pencil strokes later the picture was done, the mouth was finally perfect. 

When back in his bed, Teddy just lied there fully awake, reliving the moment of the kiss in his head over and over again. And when he finally fell asleep, he dreamt of soft lips and amber brown eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter in a summary: Billy pines. Teddy pines. There is a kiss. Tommy is a good brother.  
> The writer has no idea what he is doing. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Smoked silakka (herring) is a food similar to the English kipper.  
> Nallekarhu = Teddy bear  
> Syteen tai saveen = Proverb: Don't be afraid to try even if you are on risk of failure
> 
> The song Tommy hums (The Teddy Bear's Picnic) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZANKFxrcKU
> 
> If you want to know more about sauna, check out the following Wikipedia and thisisFinland pages:  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finnish_sauna  
> https://finland.fi/life-society/bare-facts-of-the-sauna/
> 
> Best way to learn about it is of course to experience it yourself. And here’s a more poetic way to describe sauna:
> 
> Hiss if the kiuas.  
> Warmth wraps you into soft shrouds of content.  
> Beads of sweat roll down your forehead, muscles relax and the stress gives way, mind wanders.  
> Eyes closed; peace.
> 
> Here are some visual references for this chapter; they are a good approximation of how my mind’s eye sees them:
> 
> The sauna from outside and inside:  
> https://kasteluetaisyydella.files.wordpress.com/2015/09/image.jpg  
> https://si.wsj.net/public/resources/images/OB-ZH100_1017sa_J_20131014182523.jpg  
> View from the sauna: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/51/J%C3%A4rvi.jpg
> 
> Teddy’s uniform: https://www.wehrmacht.es/en/wh-uniforms/1229-feldbluse-m36-for-officers-wool.html  
> Billy’s uniform: http://www.suomenasehistoriallinenseura.fi/news/134/90/SAHS-puheenjohtaja-Jari-Makinen-50-vuotta/
> 
> Though in the story I imagine the uniforms to be slightly worn, Billy and Teddy are just regular officers so nothing too fancy for them. Also, in Billy’s case the colour of the side cap’s piping, collar patches and trouser stripes would be purple, instead of green. (Different colours are used in the Finnish army to differentiate between different corps, e.g. green for infantry, purple for signal corps, red for artillery etc.) And instead of one large pip on his collar (man in the picture is a major) there would be two smaller ones.  
> Finnish military ranks: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finnish_military_ranks
> 
> And finally, (if someone is still reading this far too long note) if you spot a mistake, have ideas of what you might want to see in this story (I’m always open for new ideas), want to give criticism (the constructive sort is always appreciated) or just want to chat; leave a comment.
> 
> Have a great rest of the summer!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be smut.

///\\\\\

 

Billy watched as Teddy left the room and then proceeded to slump onto a chair, taste of Teddy still lingering on his lips.

_I kissed Teddy, kissed him._

 

That was the only thought that rattled around in Billy’s head. And what a kiss it had been; a shiver ran down Billy’s back as he re-lived the moment. Teddy’s large hands on his jaw, his own hands on Teddy’s powerful chest and the feel of those soft lips on his own… God, those lips were the only thing Billy would dream about in the near future.

And the feeling of Teddy’s body against his; it had been just so, so perfect. Being held close by Teddy, Billy had felt… protected?

Billy reeled for a moment. Was it really safety that he had felt?

In any other situation Billy would have felt cornered, being loomed over like that. If someone of Teddy’s size, even in a similar situation, would have pushed him against the wall like that, Billy would have told them in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

_But with Teddy?_

 

With Teddy he had felt safe and content and that was so bloody weird. After one kiss, perfect as it may have been, he should not have felt like this. And yet, he did. It had been so grounding to just lean against Teddy’s bulk, to feel his arms around him, to feel their body’s sharing their heat. Billy had wanted to stay in Teddy’s arms for an eternity and he barely knew the man.

He really should not feel like this, it could all backfire in a spectacular fashion, Billy realised. All that talk of him being good and wonderful could just be Teddy’s attempt to get him to become more open for… more intimate things.

Billy swallowed thickly; the images of them getting more _intimate_ were so very distracting. The quick glance he had stolen when Teddy had sauntered onto the jetty had shown the man to be as big as Billy had guessed him to be under those clothes; with his broad shoulders, tapered waist, muscled thighs and bulging biceps he could easily pick Billy up and do very indecent things to him against any vertical surface.

And if his eyes hadn’t seen completely wrong, the rest of him had also been _proportional_ to his bulk.

_Hung like a fucking draft horse you mean._ Billy’s seedier side helpfully provided and a blush crept up his cheeks.

Billy shook his head and managed to dispel some of the more vivid imagery from his head.

He wasn’t per se opposed of casual _acquaintances_ , but Teddy had seemed so sincere when complimenting him and something in Billy yearned and craved for something deeper and meaningful. And Billy hoped, hoped so much that he wasn’t wrong about Teddy, hoped that Teddy also wanted something more than a quick roll in the hay.

One thing that made it easier to believe him was that Teddy had admitted being, as he had put it, different. He had told about his preferences willingly, even if he could have remained silent of it, so it could mean that Teddy trusted him and, perhaps, _possibly_ , _maybe,_ wanted something similar to what Billy wanted.

Well, like Teddy had said they’d need to talk. He’d have a proper talk with Teddy when Oskari and Tommy were gone.

Billy yawned and put the headphones back on, continuing his task.

 

 

Few hours later, at five o’clock, Oskari entered the room.

“Morning.” He yawned.

“Morning,” Billy nodded. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed, I thought that we agreed that I’d handle things ‘till it was six.”

“Yeah we did.” Oskari yawned again and stretched. “But I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep and you’re going to have long day with me being in Mikkeli for the day. So, I thought that I could man the radio through the morning hours. You could get some sleep and wouldn’t be completely useless with your lack of sleep for the whole day.”

“Tommy’s going to give you a lift, right?” Billy asked.

“Yeah, that’s the plan. Tommy’s motorbike is getting serviced at the motor pool at around 11:30, so we are leaving at eleven o’clock.”

Billy glanced at his watch; he could have about six hours of sleep.

“Well, if you’re sure.” Billy removed the headphones and stretched with a satisfied grunt. “Damn decent of you Oskari, thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.” Oskari shrugged. “Just pass along the favour the next time I apply for leave.”

“Of course.” Billy nodded with a smile.

Oskari sat at the radio, but turned to Billy before putting the headphones on.

“Ville, about Altman.” Oskari said; eyebrows furrowed. “He is going to be up before you, so…”

“You’re asking what you should do.” Billy sighed.

Oskari nodded with a hum.

“Don’t do anything.” Billy replied. “We had a talk during the night and there was a bit of a misunderstanding between us while we were in the sauna and now…” Billy’s mind decided that now was the perfect situation to replay the kiss and he shivered slightly when remembering how Teddy’s lips had felt on his own.

“And now?” Oskari asked with one eyebrow cocked up.

Billy snapped back to the present. “Things are fine.” He replied, while barely managing to repress the small smile that tried to creep on his lips.

“Just like that?” Oskari asked, looking surprised.

“Just like that.”

“Well, okay then.” Oskari shrugged. “I’m glad that he didn’t turn out to be a same kind of a wanker as Kessler.”

Billy just chuckled. “I share the sentiment. Also, tell Tommy to back off if he starts to get bit too protective. Tell him that I’ll talk with him once I get up.”

Oskari hummed his agreement and turned to the radio. Before going to his room, Billy grabbed couple of pieces of crispbread from the pantry and munched them down with a glass of milk; he’d be up before seven without a small snack. After his modest meal he crept back to his room, quickly stopping by Teddy’s door, trying to listen if he was up. Gentle snoring that drifted through the door told him otherwise and Billy’s lips curled into a fond smile. That smile still lingered when he got back to his room and undressed himself for bed.

 

 

Billy woke up few hours later when someone barged in to his room and that someone turned out to be his twin brother.

“What the hell.” Billy muttered and glanced at his watch; 10:40 it said. At least Tommy had the decency to allow him to sleep properly for few hours. “What do y-” Billy yawned and pushed the blanket off.

“What do you want?” He tried again and sat up.

Tommy was glaring at him sharply.

“Imagine my surprise,” He began. “When this morning I got up and found Oskari and that bloody kraut chatting in a friendly fashion over plates of porridge. Of course you might ask why I was surprised. Well,” Tommy huffed. “It was because when I asked Oskari why he was being pally with that piece of Nazi shit he said, and I quote, that _things were_ _fine_ with you,” Tommy pointed his finger at Billy “and with Altman.”

“So, _oh brother of mine_.” Tommy lowered his voice. “How are things with you and that German?”

Billy rubbed his neck and tried not to squirm in a guilty sort of fashion.

“I ha- I mean, we had a conversation, Teddy and I, and a…”

_Bloody hell, Kaplan! You really are hopeless when it comes to lying._

 

“We talked and that’s it. There was a slight misunderstanding between us, but now it’s all sorted out.” Billy rattled out in a wholly unconvincing way.

“What did you talk about?” Tommy asked with dangerously measured voice.

“We didn’t do anyt-“

_Saatanan perkeleen vitut!_

 

As soon as Tommy realised that Billy had said ‘do’, the game was up.

“Do?” Tommy narrowed his eyes.

Billy just squirmed under his brother’s scrutiny.

“What did you _do_ , Billy?”

“I… I might have… kissed him.” Billy muttered quietly while rubbing his neck, trying to avoid Tommy’s eyes.

“You did what.”

“I kissed him.”

“You kissed him.”

“Yes.”

Tommy took a step back, closed his eyes, exhaled slowly and just stood there for a moment.

“My brother is an idiot.”  Said Tommy to no one particular after a while. “Completely and utterly barmy.”

 “Why are your nose and teeth where they’re supposed to be?” Tommy asked after another slow exhale.

“What are you talking about?” Billy frowned.

“Well, what my limited life experience has thought me is that people, men to be exact, aren’t on the whole pleased when another man tries to kiss them. So, my question is; why is your face still its ugly old self?"

“Because…” Billy blushed a bit. “Teddy sort of liked it and kissed me back.”

Tommy just looked at Billy with a blank expression, and then his left eye twitched a bit. It had never done that before. Maybe Billy had broken his brother.

“So you’re telling me that he actually kissed you back.”

“Yes.”

“And he liked it.”

“Yes.”

“That tall, blond, built-like-a-fucking-brick-house _German_ kissed you back.”

Billy nodded.

“On the lips.”

Billy nodded again.

“And he,” Tommy gestured to Billy’s direction. “He bats for the other team?”

“Yes.”

Tommy blinked slowly couple of times, rubbed his face and sighed.

“Right,” Tommy said after a long, pregnant pause. “The next time we are in Helsinki together I’m taking you to this underground casino to play roulette, or the slots.”

“What?” Billy gave a small laugh.

“Someone with your luck should beat the house easily. Quick money for the both of us.”

“What?!” Billy snorted.

“Billy,” Tommy looked at his brother. “You are incredibly lucky. This man, a German man to be precise; a man you’ve been pining over since the moment you met, turned out to be nice, not a Nazi, and he happens to share your feelings about men’s arses looking fine.”

This time Billy blushed quite a lot.

“You are extraordinarily damn lucky.” Tommy sighed. “That being said,” His eyes grew more serious. “Are you out of your fucking mind!?” Tommy almost shouted.

Billy flinched a bit.

“Do you have any fucking idea what might have happened!?” Tommy hissed. “If the word got around you could have been demoted and send to some bloody flea infested dugout in Eastern Karelia or Altman might have beaten you black and blue or, or…” Tommy sighed heavily and slumped next to Billy.

“You’re an idiot.” Tommy muttered.

“I’m sorry.” Billy whispered and lowered his head. “I know it wouldn’t be fair to you if people were to find out that your brother is someone like me, a… a fairy and I kno-“

“Shut up, Billy.” Tommy sighed sternly.

“I don’t give a tinker's damn about what people would think. You’re my brother, my only brother, and people can shove their opinions up their arses for all I care. I wasn’t angry at you for doing what you did; well I was and still am. But I just…” Tommy sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. I’m your big brother and it’s my job to keep your sorry arse out of trouble.”

“You’re only thirty minutes older than I am.” Billy huffed wetly; he hadn’t even noticed the prickling in his eyes.

“And it clearly shows.” Tommy said with a small smile and nudged Billy’s shoulder with his own. “Just try to avoid doing stupid things in the future.”

Billy nodded and Tommy seemed satisfied.

“He did tell me about his preferences before I kissed him.” Billy said quietly, glancing at Tommy who seemed surprised.

“Oh thank god.” Tommy huffed. “You’re not as stupid as I thought you were.”

 “Thanks.” Billy snorted and both men remained quiet for a moment. 

“Billy, I…” Tommy mumbled after a while and then cleared his throat. “I’m not very good with this touchy-feely stuff and I just wanted you to know that I… I love you, okay?”

Billy smiled fondly and nudged his brother. “Love you too Tommy.”

“Mmmph.” Tommy grumbled and stood up. “All of this emotional stuff must be rubbing off from you.” He groused. “This is a second time in two days that we are wallowing in this gooey brotherly love thing. Ugh.”

Billy could have sworn that Tommy shivered a bit, apparently trying to rid himself of the _gooiness_ of the situation.

“I should go; Oskari and I are leaving soon. Also,” Tommy glanced at Billy “wash your face; you’re a bit of a mess.”

Billy nodded and wiped the remaining moisture from his eyes, stood up and headed towards the wash basin to pour some fresh water from the jug next to it. Out of the blue he came up with an idea to mess with Tommy.

“Tommy, don’t you want to know how the kiss was?” Billy asked when his brother was almost out the door and tried to supress his mischievous grin.

“No, not particularly.”

“I got hard.” Billy grinned.

“Oh for fucks sa-” Tommy groaned, rest was cut off when the door slammed shut.

 Billy leaned against the wash basin and laughed.

 

 

After a quick shave Billy headed towards the classroom, Tommy and Oskari had left a moment earlier, Oskari holding on tightly to Tommy; everybody knew what kind of a speed addict the white haired Kaplan twin was. The almost manic glint that ignited in Tommy’s eyes whenever he grabbed his satchel, and put on his goggles and helmet wasn’t there because he was going to take it nice and slow.

When Billy entered the classroom Teddy was leaning over the table, writing down something, his hair shining like gold in the sun. Letting his eyes slide over the large, stunningly powerful figure, Billy felt heat pooling low in his belly. It was slow, just trickling, barely a first stirring of interest, and he fought the urge to laugh at himself.

_God, he wanted this man._

 

When Teddy heard Billy’s steps he turned and smiled brightly at him.

Immediately Billy felt jittery, airy, wobbly, and exhilarated, all at the same time because of that smile. No one had ever, _ever_ , smiled like that at Billy, he was sure of it. Teddy wasn’t just smiling at him; he was smiling _because_ of him. As if Billy was something so wonderful that it was worth a smile so illuminating that it could blind you.

Even if Billy was a sensible adult, and an officer, he did not have any kind of self-control when it came to Teddy.

_When had that happened?_

 

So he did the only thing that felt right at the moment and walked over to Teddy, glancing quickly out of the window to make sure they were alone, placed his hands on Teddy’s powerful shoulders and reached up and kissed the larger man gently. Teddy stiffened for a moment, clearly surprised, but very quickly deepened the kiss, snaking his arms behind Billy, he pulled them closer together.

The kiss was just as perfect as the last night’s.  It was soft but firm and Billy sighed into it, letting his lips linger against Teddy's for just a moment before he pulled back and smiled at him.

“Hi,” he whispered and offered him another quick peck.

“Hi yourself,” Teddy whispered back and leaned in for another kiss, smiling. “I could get used to this.” Teddy said softly and traced Billy’s lips with his large thumb. Teddy’s large, warm and slightly calloused hand had slid over to Billy’s cheek, caressing it tenderly, and the feeling that it left in him was indescribable.

“Yeah.” Billy sighed contently and happily reached up for yet another kiss.

After the kiss ended neither man said anything for a moment, until Teddy broke the silence with a question;

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about what you said.”

Teddy’s brow furrowed in a way that Billy found absolutely endearing, lowering his own eyes to Teddy’s chest he continued;

“You, getting used to this, us.” Billy brought his right hand to rest on Teddy’s right hand which was firmly planted on Billy’s left shoulder. “Do you want us to continue this, things to get more serious, or… or is this just a way for you to unwind?”

Teddy didn’t say anything and Billy kept his eyes on Teddy’s chest.

“We’ve only known each other for about three weeks, and I really like you, a lot. But there have been only kisses between us. Really good kisses, by the way; you’re a really good kisser.”

Billy was agonizingly aware of his rambling and of the blush creeping up his neck and cheeks.

_Stop babbling and focus!_

 

“What I’m trying to say is that, if you don’t want anything more than kissing, that’s fine. World isn’t exactly a nice place for men like us, and our backgrounds, duties, stuff… would make things hard and I understand completely if you don’t want to complicate things, your life, with someone like me and…”

Billy’s increasingly breathy rambling was cut off by Teddy gently grabbing Billy’s chin and lifting it so that he could lock his blue eyes with Billy’s.

“Billy.” Teddy said with such earnest conviction that Billy’s breath hitched. “Do you remember what I said to you last night?”

Billy nodded.

“I meant it, I really did. You are beautiful and kind and good and,” Teddy swallowed thickly. “I never even dared to imagine that I could tell you how I feel about you. I didn’t think I could ever hold, let alone kiss you and now? Now I’ve told you how I see you, I’ve held you, I _am_ holding you, and I have tasted your lips. So, what I am trying to tell to you is that I want to see where things go between us. So very much.”

Only thing keeping Billy upright at that moment was Teddy’s arms holding him, he was sure of it.

“Do you want see how things will end up?” Teddy asked; his voice soft, almost pleading.

“Yes.” Billy whispered hoarsely; heart pounding at a break neck speed.

Teddy nodded mutely and pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes.

Teddy broke the silence after a while. “I’ve never felt this way, you know.” He said quietly. “As you said, we’ve only known each other for three weeks and to feel like this, it’s… It’s scary.”

Billy slid his hand to the side of Teddy’s neck and drew small circles there with his thumb.

“Feeling is mutual.” Billy sighed. “Also, we have to be careful. Oskari might start to suspect something if we get too comfy with each other.”

“What about your brother.”

“Oh, Tommy, he knows about my preferences.”

Teddy looked almost shocked. “He does?”

“Yeah, he doesn’t mind, however.”

“That’s… That’s great, Billy.” Teddy said gently. “You’re so lucky.”

“I know, god I know.” Billy was quiet for a moment. “To be true, he minds just a little bit, but it’s more the fact that we have such a different kind of backgrounds. You know; a German and a Jew, oil and water, cats and dogs… That’s what worries him. I think.”

“So he worries that the difference is too great and it will lead to a…” Teddy’s words petered out.

“To an utter shit storm of biblical proportions.” Billy supplied helpfully.

Teddy just nodded with a grin.

“We’re a right pair, aren’t we?” Teddy muttered. “A real odd couple; like Laurel and Hardy.”

“Are you calling me fat?” Billy asked with mock indignation, trying to shift the mood a bit.

“Nah.” Teddy smiled. “If you were fat I couldn’t do this.” He said and slid his large hands on the backs of Billy’s thighs, hoisting him up his broad body. Billy, to his eternal shame, actually squeaked and instinctively wrapped his legs around Teddy’s waist.

Teddy just laughed.

After a moment the mood most definitely shifted, but not to something lighter. Along with the mood, Teddy’s hands had also moved, ever so slowly. His large hands were no longer on the backs of Billy’s thigs. No, Teddy’s hands were on his ass and when Billy looked down from his elevated perch he saw the glint in Teddy’s eyes, or rather the lack of it. The ever present jovial glint had been replaced with something dark.

It was hunger that Billy saw and he recalled his own thoughts from last night.

_Arms that could easily pick me up and do very indecent things to me against any vertical surface._

 

“Billy.” Teddy said roughly; his voice had suddenly gone dark and smoky. That voice went straight to Billy’s cock and when Teddy’s grip on his backside got firmer, more possessive, Billy could only groan and he brought their lips together to a hungry and needy kiss. It was a kiss without fines, it was all teeth, battling tongues and roaming hands and when Billy buried his hands in the soft strands of Teddy’s hair to get a better hold, Teddy growled. 

That honest-to-god growl send waves of shock and pleasure throughout Billy’s body and he was helpless to prevent himself growing hard, his cock pressed between his own and Teddy’s body.

_Teddy must have noticed it_ ; Billy managed to think.

 

Teddy had.

“The things I want to do to you.” Teddy said hoarsely. “I’ve been thinking about it all morning, when I’d get to sit you on my lap and kiss you properly for a few hours, stick my face in your hair and just hold you, breathe you in. It’s been running in my head, Billy, wondering when I can finally get my hands on you.”

Suddenly Teddy allowed Billy to slide down his body, and then he lifted Billy back up and the only thing Billy could do was to whimper. The drag felt so fucking good! Even through his trousers Billy could feel his prick grinding against Teddy’s hard abdominal muscles. God almighty, those muscles were just as hard as they looked!

When Teddy did it again Billy could only shudder and make small mewling sounds. Teddy didn’t stop there; he did it again, and again, _and again_.

His face was buried in Billy’s neck, kissing the soft vulnerable flesh there, even biting it, and then mouthing down his throat to suck gently at the junction of his neck and shoulder. Billy let his head loll to one side with a soft, throaty groan, his grip on Teddy tightening.

 “Te- Teddy, please.” Billy whispered after a particularly good grind that had left him breathless.

Things had gotten out of hand very quickly.

“I ca- can’t, we can’t. Not here, no-” The rest was cut off when Teddy bit harder and Billy moaned and shuddered.

“I’m going to make you come, Billy.” Teddy muttered darkly, his left hand roaming under Billy’s shirt, sending shivers across Billy’s body.

“No, I can’t.” Billy panted. “Please…”

Another delicious drag against Teddy’s body pulled another moan from Billy.

“Fuck,” Teddy growled and dragged his teeth against the soft, exposed flesh of Billy’s neck. “The sounds you make, Jesus. I could do this the whole damn day.” Teddy murmured between the kisses and bites. “Perfect. You’re so fucking perfect. Go on, Billy. Just let go.”

Billy was losing himself, _had_ lost himself. The world had shrunk down; there was nothing else but the kissing, Teddy’s right hand gripping hard on his ass and left caressing his back, never-ending murmurings of sweet-nothings and the drag of his cock against Teddy. The only thing in the world was Teddy.

_Teddy, Teddy, teddyteddyteddy…_

 

When Teddy kissed against Billy’s neck yet again and looked up at him with those tender, blue eyes of his, now filled with wanton lust, Billy gasped pathetically.

“I-” Billy gasped again, body trembling, desire coiling hot and bright in the pit of his stomach, “C-Can’t…” He writhed; eyes shut tight as he tried to deny himself this pleasure, to not seek out the temptation of orgasm.

“It’s okay, baby,” Teddy whispered, voice tender as he increased his pace, grinding Billy’s body against his own, “C’mon, Billy…” Billy’s hands had moved down from carding through Teddy’s hair and had opened the buttons on his shirt; he was caressing Teddy’s large pectorals in blind adoration. Billy was never, ever again going to compare Teddy to a Greek marble statue, they were lithe and athletic, and pretty, sure, but they weren’t Teddy.

Teddy was big, broad, and bulky. He looked and felt like he had been carved out of solid piece of granite; but his muscles weren’t just for show. No, they were a result of working hard with his body. They weren’t a result of calisthenics or gymnastics, and it showed; Teddy wasn’t even sweating from holding Billy up.

Most importantly however, he wasn’t like cold, uncaring stone; no, Teddy was warm, and alive, and there. There for Billy to see, and hear, and above all, to touch.

And touch he did.

Billy continued his ministrations, allowed his hands to roam freely across that expansive chest, marvelling its undulations; captured by its heaving motions, softness of the skin and the unyieldingness of the muscles that the skin covered. This went on for what felt like hours, concept of time a meaningless detail. Billy’s own gasps, soft little cries, and mewls seemingly spurring Teddy on. When, after a good while, Billy’s thumb flicked one of Teddy’s hardened nipples the blond made a satisfied grunt.

“Again.” Teddy growled huskily. “Do that again.”

Billy did as told, and the grunt like moan Teddy made after a particularly hard swipe of Billy’s thumb, combined with the ceaseless rutting motion, was enough to push them both over the edge.

Billy bit in his bottom lip and wrapped his arms around Teddy’s thick neck tighter than he had ever before, voice rising, and if he wasn’t so damn distracted from Teddy’s roaming hands on his ass and back, and the roughness of his voice, he would have actually been concerned over how loud he was being. Instead of worrying about noise, his body stiffened, muscles tightened as he spilled in his own trousers. It was utter bliss, sheer unaltered perfection; the sounds he was making were probably absolutely obscene. Billy didn’t care; nothing had ever felt so good. Through it all he could feel Teddy shuddering and his hold on Billy was, for a moment, almost bruising. Even through all of that, through both of their climaxes, Teddy kept murmuring his praises into crook of Billy’s neck, kissing at his racing pulse there and not for once did Teddy’s grip on him waver.

_Safe._

 

“There you go, Billy.” he heard Teddy whisper, his voice sounding distant and far away, “There you go, my sweet Billy, you’re so good, so good to me…”   

But when finally the orgasm passed, Billy went completely quiet, too overwhelmed to even muster a single sound; he was utterly and thoroughly spent.

Billy didn’t even register Teddy moving them from their previous position, he was now sitting on the table, and Teddy was standing between his legs, leaning down and kissing Billy on his bruised lips, the gesture passionate and firm. Billy curled into him, blunt fingernails digging into Teddy’s massive shoulders as he whined into the kiss, Teddy’s large hands roaming his body, stroking him through the aftershocks of his orgasm. Tears prickled down his cheeks, the sensation so blinding that he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. He exhaled a ragged gasp, unable to stop the tremors that sapped away the strength in him.

“You’re awful…” Billy muttered once he’d regained part of his composure, struggling for breath, “Just...awful, Teddy.”

Teddy simply smirked in response, kissing against Billy’s red cheek, one hand coming up to card his fingers through Billy’s sweat slick hair, while the other wiped away the moisture on his cheeks.

“You loved it.” Teddy countered; hands warm and soft as they travelled up Billy’s sides, and if he wasn’t so damn spent, he would have punched Teddy right in his perfect jaw. They settled for a moment, Billy’s heart beat mellowing as he curled against Teddy, seeking the warmth of his skin and the comfort of his steady, calloused hands. The blond held him in his arms, playing with the dark strands of Billy’s hair as they wasted the minutes away.

Billy pressed his face against Teddy’s exposed chest, breathing in his scent, while his own shoulders drooped; old insecurities rearing their ugly heads again.

“Billy,” Teddy called after a long moment, voice gentle yet firm. Billy groaned in response, body heavy as he blinked up at Teddy.

“What’s wrong?” Teddy asked, curious.

Billy swallowed thickly at that, burying his face back into the heat of Teddy’s chest. It was cowardly to avoid eye contact, but he wanted to get back into the lazy comfort they were both just sharing, avoid this awkward conversation in its entirety.

“It’s nothing, Teddy. Nothing.” Billy sighed heavily.

Teddy’s brow twitched at that, he looked worried. “You asked me to stop…,” he said, standing little bit straighter, not enough to unlock Billy from his arms but establishing enough distance between them to regain eye contact. “And I didn’t, Billy I- I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s not that.” Billy sighed and tried to pull Teddy back closer. It would have been easier to move a mountain, Teddy didn’t budge.

“I’m serious. If you didn’t want this, then…” Teddy’s answer petered out.

“Hey,” Billy said, a little anxious, “It isn’t that, Teddy, I swear.” That finally cleared Billy’s head, worried that this was what Teddy’s thinking, been forced to think that Billy didn’t want this, didn’t want Teddy to do all of _that_ to him. He reached up, pressing kisses against Teddy’s brow, down the bridge of his nose and against the crest of his lip.

“I want you, wanted _that_ so badly that I couldn’t see straight.”

“Then what is it?” Teddy asked gently, his hands holding Billy’s head so that he couldn’t look away.

Billy exhaled, shifting closer into Teddy’s space, practically crawling into his lap now because he could. Teddy’s shirt was still undone, the taut skin beneath his shirt a distraction as Billy fixated on it for a moment, letting his eyes and fingers wander. He trailed the groove between the large mounds of Teddy’s pectorals with his right-hand, fingers catching the warm metal of his dog tags, allowing his hand to travel even further south, Billy gently caressed those magnificent abs, still awed by their definition and hardness. After a moment he nudged up closer to him, their chests mere inches apart as his legs wrapped perfectly around Teddy's waist.

“Still worried about the same old.” He admitted, feeling stupid for focusing on his insecurities.

Teddy relaxed forward, his hands sliding down to Billy’s hips, pulling him closer.

“Everything I said, I meant it.” Teddy stated sternly. “I want you, only you. It’s not like you forced me to like you.” And to prove his point he gripped Billy’s waist tighter and lifted him a few centimetres, earning him a soft gasp and the way in which Teddy could so easily manhandle him sent shivers through Billy, conjuring up all sorts of lewd images in his head.

_Focus!_  

 

“Do you still want to give us a go?" Teddy asked, a little anxious.

Billy kissed him gently and laughed. “After today, you couldn't get rid of me even if you wanted, Altman.”

Teddy just smiled adorably and peppered Billy’s face with kisses until the smaller man tried to squirm away, laughing.

“Stop it. Stop it, dammit!” Billy laughed and tried to push Teddy away. “You’re like an overeager puppy!”

“But I’m your puppy, right?” Teddy asked and made a barking sound. “Whoof!”

Billy snorted and buried his face in Teddy’s chest and smiled. “Yeah, you are. Even if you are ridiculous.”

Billy could practically feel Teddy’s smile.

”Teddy.” Billy said after a while.

Teddy didn’t reply, just held Billy a little bit tighter to acknowledge that he was listening.

“I think I need to change my underpants.”

“Uhh…” Teddy managed to utter, and pulled back. “I need to do that too.”

When Billy lifted his gaze he almost laughed; the man between his legs was blushing! Actually blushing after all they did.

“Don’t start blushing now, Teddy.” Billy smiled. “Not after all we did.”

“Yeah.” Teddy smiled back sheepishly and rubbed his neck. “It’s probably a little bit late for that.”

“Just a little.” Billy snorted and held his thumb and forefinger millimetres apart.

“Come on.” Billy stood up, patting Teddy’s bicep and heading to his room. “Let’s get changed.”

As they headed to their rooms, Billy pretended that he didn’t notice how Teddy’s eyes were glued on his arse. And, if someone was to accuse him of putting an extra bounce to his step for Teddy’s viewing pleasure, then, they might have been on to something.

 

\--

**4.6.1942**

 

“Harder, Teddy. Harder!” Billy moaned. “That’s it, yeah. Feels so good, so bloody good, god.”

“Billy…” Teddy tried, but Billy just groaned contently.

“Billy.” Nothing happened. “Billy!”

“Wha-” Billy muttered and blinked owlishly as he looked over his shoulder at Teddy, skin of both men flushed by the heat of the sauna.

“I think your hair is clean enough.” Teddy chuckled.

“No, please continue.” Billy almost whined. “No one has ever massaged my scalp like that.”

“I think twenty minutes is enough, don’t you?” Teddy smiled gently.

“It bloody well isn’t!” Billy huffed. “As your commanding officer I order you to continue for another ten.” Billy stated matter-of-factly.

“Yes sir!” Teddy saluted and straightened his back.

“Proceed, lieutenant.” Billy nodded sternly and turned his head, closing his eyes.

Teddy knew exactly what to do; he continued the massage for a minute or so and then stopped.

“Just grabbing more soap.” Teddy lied smoothly, to which Billy just hummed.

Instead of grabbing the soap, Teddy grabbed a bucketful of cool water and promptly poured it over Billy’s head.

The scream was probably heard in London.

Billy stood up slowly and turned to Teddy who was shaking with laughter.

“You… You utter bastard!” Billy howled, arms going all over the place. “I’m going to have you court martialled, and demoted, and flogged and hung, drawn and quartered and… and… ” Billy’s litany of threats dried up and he finally made a small huffing sound.

“You’re a menace, Teddy Altman.” Billy pouted.

“Am I now?” Teddy grinned and kissed Billy on his pouty lips, wiping away the frown and replacing it with a satisfied smile. God, Teddy loved Billy’s lips, they were pink and they were soft, but first and foremost they were so, very, _very_ kissable.

“Yes, yes you are.” Billy muttered between the kisses. “A very horrible and awful person really; in all seriousness, I cannot fathom why I bother with you.”

“You can’t?” Teddy grinned.

“No, I really can’t.” Billy muttered against the side of Teddy’s jaw and slid his arms around the taller man’s waist, burying his face in the crook of the blonds neck. Teddy rested his right hand on the small of Billy’s back, while the left one gently cradled the back of Billy’s neck.

“Are you absolutely sure you can’t?” Teddy murmured into Billy’s hair, squeezing the smaller man firmly against himself.

“Well,” Billy whispered. “Maybe I have a reason, or two.”

Teddy didn’t reply. They both just enjoyed of the feeling of closeness and calm; slowly breathing in the smell of their soaps and each other’s unique scent. The moment wasn’t heading anywhere sexually, Teddy felt. There was no rush or need to do something at this very moment. Somehow, simply being this close to Billy felt far better than anything they had done before. There was no need for roaming hands or duelling tongues, this closeness was all Teddy wanted at that moment.

They hadn’t done anything more than kissed since their little tryst a few days ago and neither man had felt that it was necessary to hurry. Sure, the kissing had involved a fair amount of wandering hands and groping, but that was all of it; they did share the building with two other people so the fleeting moments of passion had been short to make sure that no one caught them in the act. Though according to Billy they didn’t have to worry about Tommy; he would be merely ‘scarred for life’ if he walked in on them doing their, as Tommy had put it: ‘close combat training’.

However, they had to worry about Oskari. The sandy haired radio-operator mostly sat by the radio or tinkered with them and therefore was mostly oblivious to the world around him, but he wasn’t stupid, not by a longshot. So, the word of the day, and yesterday, and tomorrow, was _carefulness_ ; they had to be mindful of their actions, even if the only thing Teddy wanted to do was to pin Billy against the wall and take him apart, so, _so_ slowly.

“We should go.” Billy mumbled into Teddy’s chest. “Tommy and Oskari are waiting.”

“Mhhm.” Teddy hummed his agreement and kissed the top of Billy’s head.

Billy headed to the dressing room and Teddy quickly finished washing himself. When he stepped out of the sauna, Teddy noticed how Billy’s eyes lingered on his naked form.

“Seeing something you like?” Teddy smirked and grabbed his towel and started to dry himself.

“Show-off.” Billy muttered fondly and were he not already flushed by the heat of the sauna, he would have probably blushed adorably, Teddy guessed.

“So, what’s this small get-together we’re supposed to have?” Teddy asked while pulling on his trousers. Billy had informed earlier that day that they were allowed to take it easy for the evening.

“It’s Marshal Mannerheim’s 75th birthday and troops are allowed to celebrate it with small parties.” Billy replied and ran a comb though his dark hair, trying to tame it.

“That’s a nice thing to do.” Teddy said. “It’s smart to allow the troops to take it easy every now and then. Especially the frontline troops, they deserve all the slack they are given. As do we, not that we have it bad in here though. Actual beds to sleep in, good food, good company…”

Teddy glanced at Billy who just smiled.

“Yeah,” Billy looked back at Teddy. “Company in here isn’t too shabby.”

Billy kept his eyes locked with Teddy’s and the silent, but meaningful, moment seemed to stretch into infinity until Billy grabbed his wash kit and headed outside.

“Come on, I’m sure Oskari and Tommy are waiting.”

Teddy followed Billy and the weather outside was as perfect as a day in June could be; blue, cloudless skies and gentle breeze making the air fresh and invigorating. As they walked towards the schoolhouse all Teddy wanted to do was to intertwine their fingers and walk hand in hand with Billy, together as any couple would. And the fact that he couldn’t; that felt awful, so bloody awful.

When they were standing in front of the schoolhouse’s granite steps, Teddy realised that he was looking at Billy in a manner that had to be weird and, indeed, Billy’s eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Teddy, is everything okay?”            

Teddy cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. “Yeah, I’m fine, just… Just got lost in my thoughts.” Teddy managed to say and headed in. “Coming?”

“Lead on.” Billy said with a smile and headed in after Teddy.

 

 

Oskari and Tommy had already started; the gramophone was playing something loud and danceable, it sounded like big-band music, swing or something similar, perhaps jazz.

“Billy and my favourite kraut!” Tommy cried when they entered the classroom and continued “Not that I mind that we’re having this little party, but…”

“But what?” Billy raised an eyebrow.

“We don’t have anything to drink.” Tommy huffed. “You can’t celebrate someone’s birthday without something to drink. A birthday without alcohol is a crime, I think.”

“Why can’t we just have a wholesome and clean little celebration?” Billy said and Teddy could see that he was trying to supress a smile. “We could drink tea instead.”

“Tea.” Tommy stated and looked at his brother, his expression of pure disgust. “You are hopeless.” He sighed.

“Or,” Billy continued as he walked over to one of the storage crates pushed against the wall and pulled something out of one of them. “We could drink this.”

In his hands there were two plain glass bottles with simple white labels, full of amber coloured liquid. Cognac perhaps.

“Is that what I think it is?” Tommy’s eyes went wide.    

“If you think that this is cut-brandy, then,” Billy smiled and shook the bottles. “You are absolutely right!”

“Where did you get these?” Tommy said almost reverently as he took one of the bottles from Billy.

“Marshals orders were to provide every man in the army with a celebratory toast, so it was decided that five men would share a bottle between them.”

“But you have two for four of us.” Tommy said as he gazed into the bottle in a way that could only be described as loving.

“I have some connections, you know. I convinced one of the supply depot officers to give me two.” Billy said. “Korpela and I were in reserve officer school together and he very helpfully provided us with something extra to drink when I lamented about the dryness of this place.”

“Billy, Billy, Billy… You’re not completely useless after all.” Tommy shook his head and smiled, putting his arm around his brother’s shoulders.

“Thanks.” Billy huffed. “Oskari, fetch the mugs. Let’s see how this thing goes down.

“Let’s!” Oskari replied enthusiastically and fetched the tin mugs from the kitchen.

Billy cracked open the metal screw cap and poured some of the liquor in each man’s mug.

Tommy sniffed his and hummed, sounding pleased. “Not bad.”

“Well,” Billy raised his mug and everyone followed his example. “I suppose as the CO of this station it is my job to come up with a half decent toast. So,” Oskari turned off the gramophone and Billy was quiet for a moment.

“Right,” Billy started, and all of them looked at him expectantly. “This is the second year of this war and we didn’t ask for it. We didn’t ask for the previous war either, but few things in this world are for the regular folk to decide. So, we just have to muddle through as best as we can, and by god muddled we have. This country has seen its fair share of loss; lost parts from it and so have countless families, every one of us knows someone who fell for this country or lost someone, whether it was in the Winter War or in this war, it doesn’t matter.”

Teddy could see Oskari gripping his mug just a little bit tighter.

Billy continued “We have to keep fighting for them and for this little republic of ours, to make sure that their sacrifice wasn’t in vain. To make sure that our democracy, sovereignty, and the Finnish way of life endures. I can’t say how this war will go or how it will end, but the last time the age old enemy of ours tested us we were alone. Now we are not. We have help, not from those of whom we wished it from,”

Billy glanced at Teddy with something akin to melancholy and Teddy smiled back in a similar manner.

“But it is help nonetheless. And perhaps this help will prevent us from becoming just another footnote in the history books. In short; we just have to weather the storm and if there is someone who can steer us through the storm of our age it is marshal Mannerheim. And if there is something that makes me believe that this war isn’t the end of our 25 years of independence it is the fact that at the helm of our armed forces there stands a 75 year old man who has seen his share of war and knows the Russians like the back of his hand. So, let us raise a toast to Finland, to its people, and first and foremost,”

Billy straightened his arm holding the mug. “To commander-in-chief.”

“To commander-in-chief.” They all echoed back and took a swig from their mugs.

The liquor burnt pleasantly in Teddy’s throat as it went down.

“Good speech, Ville.” Oskari muttered quietly. “Good speech.”

Tommy patted Oskari on the back and then headed to the gramophone.

“Okari’s brother fell last October.” Billy said quietly to Teddy, who nodded solemnly.

Tommy put a record onto the gramophone and flicked it on. “Now that the official part is over, let’s hear some music!”

The music Tommy had chosen was definitely swing and the room was filled with the sound of trumpets and saxophones.

Oskari and Tommy headed off to play cards after they had filled their mugs to the brim with the brandy and Teddy was left with Billy.

“Do you want to play?” Billy asked and nodded towards the game that was about to begin.

“Nah. Never been much of player.” Teddy replied with a shrug. “How about we just enjoy the music?”

“I’d like that.” Billy nodded and together they headed to the small sofa they had hauled down from the attic. It was a tattered old thing and smelled a bit musty, but the thick quilt they had covered it whit made it comfortable enough.

As they settled on the small sofa they were pressed quite close to each other, hip to hip, not that either of them minded it. Teddy took another sip from his mug and glanced at Billy who was tapping his fingers with the music. The silence wasn’t oppressing or awkward, it was really rather pleasant; they were comfortable enough with each other that there was no need for unnecessary jibber jabber. After a while Teddy broke the silence.

“The weathers been awfully nice as of late.” He said, trying to suppress a grin.

Next to him Billy snorted. “Really, Teddy? Small talk.”

“Isn’t that what you are supposed to do in the proper circles? Try to avoid anything that might be too improper or scandalous to talk about?” Teddy smiled.

“To hell with small talk.” Billy huffed. “If there is nothing more substantial than the weather, or the latest game of football to talk about, then people shouldn’t talk at all.”

“That’s,” Teddy hummed. “Not a bad attitude at all.”

“I suppose.” Billy shrugged. “It’s one of the things where my Finnish side is more prevalent than my English half.”

“Half English, really?” Teddy looked at Billy who shrugged and smiled.

“Yeah, we are.” He nodded towards Tommy. “Dad’s English and mum’s Finnish, obviously. Dad of course is full Finnish national nowadays.”

“I should have realised.” Teddy shook his head. “Your names?”

Billy nodded and grinned. “Not the most Finnish ones, eh?”

“Well, yeah.” Teddy agreed.

“They are not that uncommon in Finland actually.” Billy continued and took a swig from his mug.

“William and Thomas are reasonably common name amongst the Swedish-speaking Finns, Thomas especially, and people usually think that we are Swedish speakers.”

“I didn’t know that Finland had a Swedish speaking minority.” Teddy raised an eyebrow, sounding intrigued.

“It’s because we were part of Sweden for,” Billy tilted his hand from side to side. “Six, seven hundred years. Depends really where you start your count. Anyway, Tommy has always been Tommy for everyone; I’m usually Ville for most people because it is bit easier to pronounce than Billy. But, to people close to me I’m always Billy.”

Billy continued quietly; “Are you Teddy for everyone or… I mean…The first time we met you said that you don’t have anyone close back home to write to. Are your…”

Teddy glanced at Billy with a small, sad smile.

“Dead.” Teddy said quietly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I… Me and my big stupid mouth.” Billy stuttered

“It’s okay.” Teddy sighed. “How about this; now we just enjoy ourselves, but at some point in the near future you tell me about your parents and family, and I’ll tell you about mine. Deal?”

“Deal.” Billy nodded.

Then Billy leaned in closer and held his hand on Teddy’s thigh. That action immediately sent a shiver up his spine.

“You might not have people close to you back in Germany but… If you want someone to be close to you, then… Then, maybe _I_ could be someone close to you?” Billy whispered.  

Teddy swallowed thickly. “How close would you like us to be? What… What would we be? To each other?”

Billy removed his hand and when Teddy looked at Billy he saw that the smile had turned into apprehension and hesitance.

Billy glanced at Tommy and Oskari who were already deeply concentrated on their game of cards.

“We could… Could we be?” Billy looked down to his hands, almost like he was worried about Teddy’s reaction.

“Boyfriends? Could we be boyfriends?” Billy’s voice was a mere whisper and laced with something that Teddy almost interpreted as shame.

“I understand that if you don’t want to. I mean, I know you said tha-”

“Yes.” Teddy said; his heart ready to leap out of his chest. “Yes.”

Billy’s eyes shot up, first he looked shocked and then a shy smile broke through. “Yes? Really?”

“Yes.” Teddy nodded slowly. Hoping that that one word conveyed all the emotions he felt.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend before.” Billy blushed and he looked away, but the smile remained.

Teddy heard Billy’s whisper and leaned closer. “Now you do.”

Billy’s smile was brighter than the sun.

 

After that they settled against each other, Teddy’s leg pressed against Billy’s, fingers intertwined in such a manner that only they knew about it. Their talk continued through the afternoon and into evening. Weather outside had turned to cloudy and it looked like it might start to rain. However, Billy and Teddy both remained relatively dry, figuratively speaking; neither of them drank much, both were more than happy to allow Oskari and Tommy to finish the two bottles by themselves. By ten o’clock their card game had turned into an argument whether or not hockey was a better sport than football and when the battle of rhetoric skills had ended in a draw, the arm-wrestle match had been a logical continuation in deciding the superior sport.

Unavoidably more physical means of argument came into picture.

At half past eleven Teddy was holding back Oskari who was determined to continue Tommy’s and his wrestling mach. Billy on the other hand was trying to restrain his brother by sitting on him, and Tommy was desperately trying to wiggle free.

“ ’Lemme go Billy.” Tommy slurred. “Hockey is bullshit, it is shit!”

“Teddy, could you take him to bed.” Billy sighed and nodded towards Oskari who was struggling against Teddy’s firm hold.

“Sure.” Teddy smiled amusedly when Oskari muttered something that sounded like ‘fuckball’.

Teddy hauled the almost passed out sergeant onto his broad shoulder and carried him to Tommy’s and his shared room.

“I’ll come and get the other drunkard after I get this one to settle.” Teddy quipped over his shoulder.

Teddy tucked in the drunken man in his bed and returned to the classroom.

“He passed out the minute his head hit the bed.” Teddy chuckled, referring to Oskari. “Should I deal with this one too?” He glanced at Tommy who was busy at listing all the obscenities he knew.

“Please do.” Billy sighed, snorting when Tommy made a _Wheee!_ -sound while hanging head down on Teddy’s shoulder.

Teddy carried Tommy to his room; Oskari was already snoring when Tommy flopped onto his own bed and he also started to snore almost on the second he was on his back.

Billy was standing by the window when Teddy got back. Walking behind him, Teddy wrapped his arms around Billy and held him tight.

“Are they alive?” Billy asked quietly.

“Yeah, if the snoring is any indication.” Teddy mumbled into Billy’s hair.

“Good.” Billy sighed and leaned his head back, resting it against Teddy’s shoulder.

“Now that the kids are in bed, maybe we should make use of the reprieve.” Teddy hummed.

 “Our little, 70 kilogram babes with hairy arses, currently blind drunk.” Billy snorted. “Yeah, maybe we should.”

Teddy withdrew his arms from around Billy, planting a small kiss on the side of his neck, and walked over to the gramophone. By good chance, in the small pile of records next to the machine, there was one of Teddy’s favourites and he turned the gramophone’s handle few times, making sure it was fully wound.

When Billy heard Glenn Miller’s ‘Moonlight Serenade’s’ first tunes, he turned to Teddy who walked over to him, holding out his hand.

“May I have this dance?”

“You may.” Billy said and allowed Teddy to pull him to the centre of the room where there was more room for them.

“This is one of my favourites.” Teddy said as he slid one hand on the small of Billy’s back, while allowing the other hand to stay between Billy’s shoulder blades.

Billy wound his arms around Teddy’s neck and pulled their foreheads together.

“Man of good taste.” Billy whispered. “Lucky old me.”

Teddy closed his eyes and just enjoyed himself. They weren’t really dancing; it was just slow swaying from one side to the other. Neither man was leading, they just allowed the music to lead and guide them. It was like they were slowly drifting away, leaving the god-awful mess that was the world, behind them.

The moment seemed to hang like a fragment of time, and Teddy had a conscious moment of clarity, a sense of a memory being formed that would settle in him and trigger whenever he would smell that scent of early summer evenings, and dust, and Billy. He breathed out, and in again, letting it all just... linger.

Teddy was happy. So, so, happy.

He was dancing with the man he cared about, deeply and passionately. Man he loved an-

Teddy’s mind crashed to a halt and he shuddered.

The feeling he had in his heart, the all-encompassing feeling of warmth, contentedness, and joy whenever he was near Billy and could hold him, was… was it love?

Teddy’s heart was racing and his mouth had gone dry, thoughts narrowed to a single word.

_Love._

_Is it love? Do… do I love Billy?_

 

Teddy opened his eyes, pulled his forehead away from Billy’s, and looked at him. Billy’s eyes were still closed, his raven hair glinted in the soft yellow glow of the oil lamp, and his mouth was set in this almost imperceptible smile of joy.

Rational part of him was shouting that it couldn’t be love, it couldn’t; that it was too soon, too early, too… too sudden and impossible.

But at that moment something moved in Teddy. Something inside him whispered so, _so_ quietly. Something that wasn’t him and yet it was. Was it his heart, his soul? Teddy didn’t know, but he knew what it said and he knew it to be true. By god, he knew it to be true.

_I love him. I love Billy Kaplan._

 

Teddy just kept looking at him, at Billy. It was as if he was seeing the man in his arms for the first time, and in a way, he was. Now Billy wasn’t just a person he cared deeply about, now he was a person that Teddy loved and it shook Teddy; shook him to the core.

The song ended and Teddy’s feet stilled, but he kept his eyes on Billy.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Billy said after opening his eyes.

Teddy wanted to speak his mind; he passionately wanted to say those three small words. Words if uttered out loud would change their little world completely.

But it was too soon.

Too soon for a confession like that; it would just scare Billy away.

“It’s nothing, just that… I’m so damn lucky.”

Billy just smiled and slid his arms around Teddy’s waist, pressing his face against his strong chest. Teddy propped his chin on Billy’s head and held the man in his arms tightly.

“How exactly are you lucky?” Billy asked after a while.

“Because of this.” Teddy said and kissed the side of Billy’s head. “I’m lucky because I can touch you, because I can hold you, and because I can kiss you.” Teddy’s lips found Billy’s and he sighed into the kiss.

“It’s the fact that no one else is allowed to do this with you, for you.”

“Besides kissing and holding me,” Billy asked after another kiss. “Is… is there something else you would like to do with me,” Teddy could hear the shift in Billy’s voice. “Or to me?”

All the things Teddy wanted to do to Billy flashed through his mind and he exhaled slowly through his nose. There was so much Teddy wanted to do with Billy.

“There are so many things I want to do to you, Billy.” Teddy whispered into Billy’s ear. “So. Many. Things.”

“Li- like what?” Billy asked breathily.

“I want to take you apart.” Teddy growled. “Slowly.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Now?”

Teddy stilled and shivered. He wanted Billy so badly that it was almost painful.

 “Yes.” Teddy rumbled.

Both men were now hungrily looking at each other, and before Teddy could even react, Billy was shoving his fingers up under Teddy’s shirt as Teddy pulled him into a kiss. Actually, it wasn’t so much a kiss as it was a mauling. Teddy bit at Billy’s lower lip, moaning as Billy ran his tongue along the backs of Teddy’s teeth.

Teddy loved the velvety smoothness of Billy’s mouth. Loved the lingering taste of alcohol, and most importantly, loved that unique taste that was just _Billy_. The taste of him, his smell, and the sounds Billy was making just spurred Teddy on. He wanted more, so much more.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” Teddy whispered. His hands digging into Billy’s hipbones almost painfully, like some part of him was afraid that Billy would be ripped away if he didn’t hold on with everything he had.

“God, you’re so handsome, Teddy,” Billy murmured, opening the buttons of Teddy’s shirt with haste. Teddy allowed his own hands to still for a moment and Billy finished his task hastily, getting his hands back on Teddy’s warm skin as fast as possible.

“I’m so fucking lucky.” Billy whispered as his hands kept gliding over the hard planes of Teddy’s chest and stomach.

“Billy,” Teddy groaned, kissing his way across Billy’s face and down to his neck. Billy tilted his head back to give Teddy a better access, and his hands shoved up under Billy’s shirt as he nipped at Billy’s throat. He leaned away and started working the buttons on Billy’s shirt as he kept talking.

“You’re so good, sweetheart. Your heart is so fucking pure.” Teddy murmured. “Do you have any idea what you do to me? Any at all?”

“Take me to bed,” Billy begged quietly as Teddy opened the last button on Billy’s shirt.

“Whatever you want, Billy,” Teddy growled, feeling the shivers racing up Billy’s spine. Teddy pulled their bodies flush again. “God, Billy, whatever you want.”

Billy held on to Teddy’s shoulders for dear life and hopped, wrapping his legs around Teddy’s waist as he grunted and adjusted his hold. Teddy was far too strong to even to stagger when Billy’s weight came to rest on his lap, and the thought of manhandling him in any way he wanted set his insides aflame.

“Fuck me,” Billy said between kisses. “Please. I want you inside me.”

“Your room,” Teddy snarled, his fingers digging into the meat of Billy’s ass as he held him up. Billy muttered something unintelligible without taking his lips off Teddy’s. Teddy grinned, his expression feral when he places yet another kiss on Billy’s lips.

Anticipation rippled through Teddy’s body, fanning the flames burning inside him to ever greater heights. He stalked down the hallway, only stopping once to slam Billy against the wall to steal a deep, filthy kiss. Billy just held on tighter, squeezing his thighs against Teddy’s sides.

“Feels so good between my legs, Teddy,” he sighed.

Teddy hummed, almost a growl but not quite, and dragged Billy’s lip between his teeth. “Then I need to get in there, don’t I?”

“Yes,” Billy hissed, squirming in Teddy’s arms like an over-excited puppy when he grabbed tighter to the soft globes of Billy’s backside.

“Lock the door.” Billy whispered when Teddy had barged into Billy’s room and Teddy did as told, blindly searching for the key while pressing the man in his lap against the door. The small ‘click’ the lock made was one of the most satisfying sounds of Teddy’s life; it meant that they were all by themselves.

 “I’m going need you flat on your back, Billy,” Teddy growled as he started moving again. “This is going take a while.”

Billy smiled blissfully as Teddy carried him to the bed and tossed him unceremoniously on his backside. Billy was still grinning as he bounced on the mattress and flopped to his back. Teddy slowly approached the bed, stalking like a predator. On the bed Billy was splayed out for him like a buffet; he would never get tired of the sight of Billy.

When Teddy kneeled onto the narrow bed, the damn thing made a horrible squeaky sound. The iron springs of the bedframe yowled like a cat in heat.

“Dammit.” Teddy grumbled.

“We just have to take it slow.” Billy whispered and kissed the corner of Teddy’s mouth.

“Billy,” Teddy rumbled. “I’m not going to take it slow.”

“Oh.” Billy said, looking dazed and wanting at the same time.

“Hold on to me.” Teddy ordered and placed his other hand under Billy’s arse as Billy wrapped his arms and legs around Teddy. Teddy pulled him onto his lap and with his free hand he pulled the mattress down onto the floor.

“Sorry ‘bout the hospital corners.” Teddy whispered as he dragged the mattress to the centre of the room. He wasn’t going to bang his arms or legs to a piece of furniture if he could help it.

“It’s fine.” Billy said and kept licking and kissing the side of Teddy’s jaw; an action which Teddy found extremely agreeable.

Teddy lowered Billy on the mattress, but he himself remained upright, looming over Billy.

“Clothes off.” Teddy said with a voice that left no room for argument.

Billy just looked at him for a moment; mouth slightly agape and then he started to pull of his clothes. First the shirt with his dog tags, then boots and trousers, until only his underwear remained, tented by the obvious erection.

Teddy removed his shirt and knelt between Billy’s bend legs and slid his large hands up along Billy’s thigs.

“All of them.” He said and slid the remaining piece of clothing off; allowing Billy’s erect cock to sprang free. His cheeks were flushed and for a moment Teddy just admired the man in front of him.

“Beautiful.” Teddy whispered and Billy flushed even more.

“Please.” Billy whispered hoarsely. “I need you.”

The primal part in Teddy demanded him to do as asked, to just take. But the ever receding rational part of Teddy knew that Billy needed some preparation to accommodate his girth.

“Soon,” Teddy breathed heavily. “Soon.”

Teddy’s strong hand grabbed one of Billy’s ankles, dragging him down the bed and lifting the leg over his shoulder. A dark smirk was on the blonds face before he started placing wet kisses from Billy’s knee and down his thigh; slowly kissing his way to Billy’s cock. When he reached the base of his lover’s member, Teddy stopped for a moment to admire it. It really was a perfect cock; nestled amongst dark hair and just the right size for Teddy’s mouth. He leaned in and breathed up and down Billy’s twitching cock, close enough that the air was hot and moist on his skin. Teddy grabbed the base of Billy’s member with one hand and with his tongue slowly traced a vein up it.

The mewling sound Billy made when Teddy’s pointed tongue teased the length of his shaft was to die for.

Glancing up, Teddy saw that Billy’s mouth was slightly open, head on the pillow, and eyes closed. He smiled and decided to take things further. When his lips wrapped around the head of Billy’s cock that glistened from pre-come, Billy’s hips bucked involuntarily.

“Patience.” Teddy hummed, and pressed Billy’s hips down with his free hand.

Billy tasted like salt and clean skin. He was so sweet and responsive, moaning and clutching the sheets, it was easy for Teddy to figure out what he liked best, easy to find the right rhythm.

Teddy licked again, savouring the musty taste of pre-come. Above him, Billy was breathing raggedly, far faster than just a lick should have caused. Teddy didn’t want the things to end just yet, so he stopped for a moment, just enjoying the heavy feel of Billy on his tongue.

After Billy had come back away from the edge, Teddy opened his mouth wider, wrapped his lips over his teeth and took as much of Billy into his mouth as he could, sucking all the way down. Billy was leaking pre-come like a tap and Teddy found, not to his surprise however, that he did like the taste of Billy on his tongue.

“Ted- Teddy.” Billy whimpered. “So good. Don’t stop, please.”

Teddy pulled Billy’s length towards his throat and hummed in a way that he knew felt good. Billy’s reaction was immediate; he desperately tried to buck his hips up, but Teddy’s unyielding hand prevented it.

Teddy twisted his wrist in time with his mouth, coaxing more of those perfect sounds out of Billy. He used his free hand to explore Billy's skin, stroking Billy's thigh and hip or reaching up to play with a nipple. Teddy lost track of time. Billy called out Teddy's name like it was a prayer, a reverent thing, his head thrown back, over and over again.

Teddy only wanted; he was burning with want, his own cock rock hard in his trousers, though it had hardly been touched. He wanted so much. He wanted to paint the perfect line of Billy's throat, to immortalize it to canvas. He wanted to press bruises into Billy's slender hips so he could carry a reminder of how badly Teddy wanted him, of all the ways he had shattered Teddy's careful control, so he applied pressure and left the mark.

Billy cursed and moaned, evidently undone by the touch of pain mixed with pleasure. Teddy wanted to swallow up every sound and every bead of sweat that glistened on Billy's skin, so he bobbed his head and sucked harder.

“Teddy…” Billy choked out, groaning. “I'm going to-”

Teddy knew what was about to happen and pulled away with a wet smack. Teddy’s lips were dripping long strings of thick spit attached to Billy’s dick in the most sinful and arousing way.

“Not yet, Billy.” Teddy murmured as he wiped his lips clean with the back of his hand and pressed kisses on Billy’s inner thigh.

“Please.” Billy whimpered. “Please, I need to, I need…”

Teddy cut off the pleading with a love bite; sucking at the delicate skin of Billy’s inner thigh, he bit into the soft skin and marked Billy as his.

The moan Billy made went straight to Teddy’s cock.

“Patience.” Teddy said as he repositioned Billy’s thigh on his shoulder and sifted his attention towards his next target.

Before Billy could say anything more, Teddy took a firm hold of Billy’s arse cheeks, prying them apart, he licked a hot, wet stripe up Billy’s crevice and to his perineum, causing him to yelp.

“Wha- what are you doing?” Billy asked hoarsely.

“Something I think you’re going to like.” Teddy replied with a devilish grin.

Before advancing Teddy just admired the sight in front of him.

“Fuck.” Teddy growled and pressed a thumb against Billy’s quivering hole. “Look at you; so nice and pink, and tight, and all of it for me.”

Teddy plopped his thumb in his mouth, coating it in saliva, and pressed it against Billy’s hole, smearing the spit all over it.

“God, Billy.” Teddy snarled. “I’m not even pressing in and I can feel how fucking tight you are.”

Teddy removed his thumb and licked another wet stripe up Billy’s crack, causing the man under him to shudder and writhe.

“You’re going to look so nice wrapped around my cock, aren’t you, Billy?” Teddy cooed and brought his face closer to his target. “I’m going to split you open, make you scream. Would you like that? Would you like to be full of my thick cock?”

Billy just whimpered something and Teddy finally plunged his tongue in. Billy jolted like he was trying to leap out of his skin and Teddy had to use his strength to hold him in place.

Teddy growled into Billy’s puckered hole, tongue working inside the sweet heat of his boyfriend’s entrance. Spit dribbled down Teddy’s jaw, down Billy’s crack as he sucked and sucked and sucked.

Billy moaned softly as Teddy lapped at him, lathing the soft furl of skin with his tongue. Billy’s moans were loud and uncontrolled, and Teddy was sure that if Tommy and Oskari weren’t passed out they would have heard the moans and mewls Billy was making.

Some part of Teddy was actually sorry for not being able to show the world that Billy was his.

“God, baby,” Teddy pulled away from Billy’s wet, open hole, “You’re so good to me.” And then, he was back between Billy’s cheeks, mouth pressed against his darling’s pretty, little hole.

He put his lips on Billy’s rim, sucking there again, humming happily at the sounds Billy was making each time his tongue lapped at the inner walls of his hole, loosening the tight ring of muscle there.

“Teddy, I can’t, I can’t, I – I’m going to…”

Billy’s back started to arch and he tapped Teddy’s big hands that were currently holding his slim hips, as a warning that he was close. Teddy started to pull back reluctantly, but before he withdrew completely, his mouth went back on Billy’s loosened hole for a moment, small kitten licks the last thing Teddy’s tongue did.

“You’re starting to get nice and loose.” Teddy purred as he lowered Billy’s hips down onto the mattress and crawled up Billy’s body, covering his smaller frame with his large, powerful one.

“You taste so good.” Teddy whispered and nuzzled Billy’s jaw. “Foie gras and veal steak taste like ash when compared to you. I’d eat you out and eat nothing else for the rest of my life, if I could.” Teddy cooed and he could feel Billy shivering, and it wasn’t the room temperature that caused it.

“Why did you do that? I- Isn’t it, you know, filthy.” Billy asked breathily.

When Teddy pressed his lips on Billy’s, the man under him stilled and Teddy feared that he might have gone too far. But luckily, after a second or so of hesitation, Billy reciprocated the kiss and moaned softly when Teddy swiped his tongue against his.

“No, it isn’t filthy if you’re clean down there.” Teddy hummed. “You washed yourself down there, didn’t you?”

Billy nodded

“You know how skin clean skin tastes, right?” Teddy asked.

Billy nodded again. His eyes were blown and full of want, Teddy noted.

“It’s like that.” Teddy pressed kisses along Billy’s jaw and continued. “I did it because I knew you would like it. You did, right?”

“Yeah, a lot.” Billy murmured and guided his lips on Teddy’s.

Teddy almost purred from satisfaction and brought his fingers to Billy’s mouth and pressed couple of them into the hot wetness of within.

“Suck.” He commanded.

Billy moaned and closed his eyes. Pulling Teddy’s thick fingers in, he started to caress them with his tongue, slowly coating them with saliva. The soft voices Billy kept making almost drove Teddy over the edge.   

“Good boy.” Teddy purred after a while and slowly slid his fingers out from Billy’s mouth and down his body. He coated his slicked fingers with pre-come from Billy’s cock and slipped his hand down the crack of Billy’s arse, pressing his forefinger against Billy’s hole.

“I also did it because it made this easier.” Teddy said; his voice again low and gravelly as he pressed his thick finger in, breaching the tight ring of muscle slowly.

Billy moaned wantonly and tried to push himself down onto the invading finger.

“Please,” He whispered. “Please, Teddy. I need you in me please.”

The beast within Teddy was growling from pleasure; it knew what would soon happen.

_Take him! Take, take, taketaketaketa… Mine!_

 

“What do want me to do?” Teddy snarled.

Teddy withdrew his finger almost out and pressed it back in. Hard.

“What.” _Jab_

“Do you.” _Jab._

“Want.” _Jab_

“Me.” _Jab_

“To do?” _Jab_

“I need you in me.” Billy whimpered when Teddy hit his prostate with a well-placed swipe of his forefinger.

Teddy knew the smile on his lips was predatory.

“No, Billy.” Teddy cooed almost calmly. “Say it like you mean it.”

Teddy pushed another thick finger into Billy’s tight hole, the mixture of spit and pre-come just enough for two thick fingers.

“Teddy,” Billy sobbed, his eyes glistening. “Fuck me.”

Teddy covered Billy’s mouth with his own, there was no battle; Teddy just took.

 

_Mine._

 

“Okay.”

Teddy pulled back and stood up. Kicking off his boots, he slowly opened the buttons of his fly and removed his trousers and underpants, latter ones were sodden by pre-come. His cock bounced free, standing thick and heavy between his muscular thighs.

Billy’s eyes widened and his mouth was left slightly ajar.

“Teddy.” He whispered hoarsely, and kept looking at Teddy’s engorged member.

Teddy knew he was big. It wasn’t boasting or being too sure of himself, all of his previous partners had just said so and Teddy had accepted it as a fact.

Billy’s reaction just confirmed his belief.

“Billy,” Teddy said raspingly, “Tell me you have something to make this easier.”

Teddy knew that he couldn’t penetrate Billy with just spit and pre-come easing the entry; it would be painful at best, harmful at worst.

Billy nodded and swallowed thickly. “Desk. In the second drawer from top.”

Teddy quickly strode over, and pulled a large tin jar out of the drawer. With it, he returned and knelt back between Billy’s knees. His eyes were still glued on Teddy’s prick.

When Teddy opened the jar he was greeted by the familiar smoothness of Vaseline.

“Good.” Teddy grumbled and scooped out some, slicking his fingers with the slick. It being summer, the lubricant was smooth and buttery between Teddy’s fingers and he pushed one in Billy, making the man under him moan.

“Soon.” Teddy growled and slicked his own cock, shuddering when callouses on his hand scraped against the silky skin covering his steely hardness.

Teddy crawled up Billy’s body and settled himself between Billy’s spread legs. Teddy couldn’t seem to get enough of the way their lips and tongues slid together, and neither could Billy.

“You taste so good, Billy. I could just eat you up.” Teddy drawled; his voice gravelly and full of lust as he kissed at Billy’s collar and scraped his teeth across the ridge of bone, leaving red marks on the delicate skin that covered it. “My little Billy.”

“Teddy,” Billy whimpered as he tightened his knees against Teddy’s hips, shoving his throbbing cock up against Teddy’s body, seeking friction. “You feel so fucking good, Teddy. So good.”

Teddy hummed deep in his chest, the sound barely human. He ran his nose up Billy’s neck, his lips a teasing flutter over the smaller man’s pulse point. Pressing his tongue close, Teddy could actually feel Billy’s frantically beating heart.

“You’re so ready for me. Aren’t you?” Teddy whispered and continued his ministrations.

“Love the way you look, Billy. You’re just lying there for me like an offering; for me to take, to use.” Teddy drawled on hoarsely as he kissed at Billy’s soft, vulnerable neck, leaving behind faint marks.

“Teddy!” Billy pleaded desperately. “I need you, Teddy. Please.”

Teddy scooped up more of the lubricant and pressed another finger inside Billy’s twitching and contracting hole, making sure that the he was ready. Teddy’s finger circled around the inside of the rim before pulling out and then starting over again.

In, circle, push, circle, out, repeat.

“Patience, Billy.” Teddy whispered and nipped the shell of Billy’s ear. “Patience is a virtue. Don’t you know that?” Teddy asked in mock innocence, finally removing his fingers from inside Billy.

The head of Teddy’s cock was teasing at Billy’s ass, sliding through the lubricant Teddy had slathered all over them both. He kissed just under Billy’s jaw, both hands holding his wrists to the mattress.

“Either you get on with the show, or I’m going to take matters into my own hands,” Billy threatened breathily.

Teddy shivered against Billy’s body. “Oh yeah?” he drawled dangerously. “Try it.”

Billy started to push against Teddy’s restraining hold. Teddy didn’t even have to push back, and Billy realized he couldn’t shift Teddy’s weight off him, couldn’t get free of Teddy’s restraining hands. He gasped and groaned wantonly, his cock twitching and smearing pre-come on Teddy’s abs.

“Oh,” he gasped.

“See, you can’t do anything.” Teddy growled. “I could have my way with you and there is nothing you could do to stop me.”

Billy just moaned.

“But I wouldn’t have to do that because you need this.” Teddy ran his length up Billy’s ass and again teased his hole with his cock. “Because you want this. Isn’t that so?”

Billy’s reply was a shaky ‘yes’.

Teddy grinned dangerously, and it would have been a terrifying expression in any other situation. Teddy wasn’t sure what it said about him, that he was ready to come at the mere hint of Billy not being able to wiggle free. Billy shifted his legs, wrapping them around Teddy’s thighs and pushing his ass off the mattress. Both of them groaned when the head of Teddy’s cock slid along his ass.

“So fucking wet, Billy,” Teddy moaned as his eyes fluttered closed. He panted a few breaths, but then those beautiful amber-brown eyes were meeting his own blue ones, and Teddy couldn’t breathe.

“Take what you want, Teddy.” Billy whispered. “Take it.”

Teddy rolled his hips, forcing the head of his cock against Billy’s pink, slick asshole but not breaching the tight ring of muscles there. “ _Mein schatz_ ,” Teddy murmured in his native tongue, voice and expression both full of adoration.

Billy put both heels into the small of Teddy’s back, shoving his hips up, trying to pull Teddy’s hips down. Teddy resisted Billy’s pull and the urge to just press in fully, instead, he slowly pressed the thick head of his cock in, breaching the tight entrance.

The hiss of pain Billy made told him that he had been right when deciding to take it slow.

At least for now.

“Oh god,” Billy gasped. Teddy could feel the head of his large cock twitching inside him and the tight velvety, hotness of Billy’s insides all around him. Everything in him was beckoning him to push deeper.

“Fuck!” Billy hissed again and Teddy could see that he was straining. “Fuck you are big.” Billy whispered and his hands were scrambling for a hold on Teddy’s broad back.

“Should I pull out?” Teddy asked worriedly. He would never, ever hurt Billy. Even at this moment his own needs were secondary to Billy’s wellbeing.

“No!” Billy cried. “Just. Don’t. Move.” He hissed through clenched teeth and brought his lips to Teddy’s for a kiss. “I just need a moment.”

Teddy held himself stock still for a good while, not moving and barely breathing. He kept kissing Billy and murmuring sweet nothings to his ear.

After what felt like an eternity, Teddy could feel Billy relaxing under and around him, the strain leaving his body.

“Okay,” Billy whispered and Teddy started to push in.

They both moaned in unison when Teddy’s cock started to split Billy open.

It was a slow and incremental movement, but it didn’t stop. Teddy slowly pushed in; millimetre after millimetre, centimetre after centimetre, Teddy pushed his thick cock into Billy.

They hadn’t even really started and Billy was already well on his way to losing his mind. He flexed his fingers against Teddy’s hold, and Teddy slid both hands up until their palms were pressed together and he could tangle his fingers into Billy’s. Somehow this small gesture felt more significant than anything they had done previously.

He wanted to say those three little words, so desperately wanted, but instead he desperately and breathlessly breathed out his loves name.

“Billy.”

“Teddy!” Billy cried as Teddy slowly rolled his hips, sliding even deeper, the thick shaft of his cock spreading Billy open, causing him to gasp out. “More. Please!”

Teddy readjusted where his knees were planted, shoving his thighs right up against Bill’s ass and sliding one hand under Billy’s hips to tug them off the mattress completely. He worked his way deeper with gentle, slow rolls of his hips, panting breaths against Billy’s jaw as the man under him groaned and babbled to him.

“There you go, sweetheart,” Teddy crooned against Billy’s skin as he settled into a rhythm that worked him in deep. He stayed there once he was fully seated, giving Billy more time to adjust. “You’re so fucking tight, Billy. I knew you were going to be tight.” Teddy growled. “Get those knees up higher for me, hmm?”

Billy hitched one knee up higher on Teddy’s hip, squirming as he began to really fuck him, slow and steady, pulling all the way back to allow for the long slide back in.

“Teddy. Teddy!” Billy was moaning, like he was reciting a prayer.

“Spread those legs wider for me, Billy, come on, let me get in there,” Teddy growled. He slid an arm under Billy’s bent knee, helping to push it higher. Billy nearly screamed as Teddy’s next thrust hit his prostate. Teddy hummed, deep and hungry. “That’s it, baby. That’s it. I want to hear you.”

“Teddy.” Billy sobbed.

“What’d I just tell you, _schatz_ , hmm?” Teddy asked, the dangerous undertone to his rumbly voice making Billy shiver in delight under him. “Get those fucking legs spread for me so I can fuck you good and proper.”

Billy scrambled to get his other knee up higher like he’d been told, opening him up wider to Teddy, pushing his hips up into Teddy’s thrusts as he pulled almost completely out and then slammed back in.

“Fuck,” Billy whimpered, squeezing his eyes closed tight. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Mm, you like this don’t you?” Teddy asked, speaking the words against Billy’s lips. “You like taking my thick, fat cock into your tight little hole.”

“Yes,” Billy answered immediately, clutching at Teddy’s massive shoulders now that Teddy’s hands were busy and not holding him down.

Teddy groaned in response. “You’re look so fucking good like that; wrapped around my shaft. Your tight, little hole taking it so well.”

“God, Billy.” Teddy growled after a particularly hard thrust. “You’re going to look so fucking good, all full of my seed. Mm, you better tell me now, Billy. You want me shooting off inside you?”

Billy’s reply was a garbled ‘yes’.

Billy dragged his nails all the way from Teddy’s shoulder blades down to his hips. He held on to Teddy’s hipbones, apparently loving how Teddy fucked into him. The noises Billy were making were no longer something he could control, nor was the way he was bucking his hips to meet each of Teddy’s thrusts. Billy just moaned or cried whenever his cock caught against Teddy’s hard abdominal muscles.

“Fuck, you’re getting tighter. Are you going to blow on me already, Billy?” Teddy teased, his voice almost soft.

Billy nodded desperately, moaning as the shaft of Teddy’s cock slid past the muscles he was squeezing down on.

“You need it harder?” Teddy whispered, kissing the edge of Billy’s lips and then licking into his mouth lasciviously before Billy could find the wherewithal to answer.

“Harder,” Billy begged and Teddy did as told.

Teddy growled and slammed into him, pushing all the breath from Billy’s lungs. He pulled back and did it again, wrapping Billy up like a pretzel with the straining muscles of his strong arms, his hips moving in a delicious roll between Billy’s thighs. A few deeper, hard thrusts against Billy’s prostate and Billy was shouting plaintively, writhing under Teddy’s weight, begging to be pushed over the edge.

“Fuck,” Teddy said through gritted teeth. “Fuck, that’s it, _schatz_ , come on and let me feel you. Just let go.”

Billy cried out his lover’s name, bucking underneath him like he was trying to throw him off. Teddy’s heavy body didn’t budge, of course, he kept up almost debauched rolls of his hips even as Billy’s thrashing almost forced him out. Whenever he did pop out, he shoved the head of his cock right back in and it was so damn good every time.

Teddy sped up, his powerful body doing all the work, chasing Billy’s release for him. It all felt so fucking amazing. He never took Billy’s prick in hand, though, and neither did Billy. They both wanted him coming on Teddy’s cock and nothing else.

Teddy rammed home with a feral growl, and Billy sobbed as he emptied against both their stomachs. Teddy stilled, his body trembling as he allowed himself the pleasure of experiencing Billy’s throbbing muscles from inside him.

Billy went limp, completely spent, staring up into Teddy’s eyes adoringly. Teddy wasn’t done with him, however. For a moment he kept whispering breathlessly, words full of praise and love that Billy didn’t seem to be able to process. And then, without warning, he was back to fucking him even harder, keeping Billy on that cresting wave where the world boiled down to the pinpoint of just the two of them.

Teddy cursed viciously grabbing Billy’s hips and tugging, bending him nearly in double. He kissed the side of Billy’s head, tugging Billy’s ass into the air, his hard cock slid through the lubricant that had dripped all over Billy’s ass.

Teddy shoved into him again without any further warning, and started to pound into Billy with a savage pace, earning another hoarse shout from him that petered out into soft mewls. He pushed himself deeper, Teddy’s weight pressing Billy down, panting breaths in Billy’s ear still praising him with words.

“So good to me, you’re so good to me. My Billy.” Teddy said between the thrusts.

“You. Are. Mine.” Teddy snarled and kept up the brutal pace.

“Tighten that sweet ass up for me, Billy.” Teddy growled and pushed his tongue into Billy’s mouth, savouring the taste.

“Fuck,” Teddy gasped as Billy’s hole clamped down around him. “God, that’s good, sweetheart. You were made for getting fucked, Billy, I swear to God. Your tight, little hole, just there for me to fuck into.”

_Mine, mine, mineminemine…_

_Billy is mine._

 

“Tell me your mine.” Teddy snarled.

Billy’s fingers raked across Teddy’s huge shoulders. “I’m yours, Teddy. I’m yours, yours, yours.” Billy sobbed “Yes! Fuck yes! Hold me down,” he begged.

Teddy complied with a pleased rumble deep in his chest, hoping that Billy could feel it. Teddy’s hands gripped Billy’s body harder, he had to be leaving marks, holding so tight that Billy’s bones probably protested. Teddy leaned all his weight into Billy as he fucked him good and hard, making sure that Billy knew that he couldn’t have gotten out from under him even if he’d wanted to.

The sobs and cries Billy kept making indicated that Billy was right where he wanted to be, and Teddy could feel Billy’s insides twitching around his length; Billy was close to a second orgasm.

“Clo- Close, Teddy.” Billy sobbed. “So close.”

Teddy sank his teeth into the soft flesh between Billy’s shoulder and neck in response to the warning. “Mmhmm, you’re trembling. It’s going to feel so good, Billy,” Teddy snarled against Billy’s skin. “You’re all mine, Billy. All mine.”

“Yes, yes, yes!” Billy mewled.

Teddy gasped when Billy’s second orgasm hit. Billy’s tight channel undulated all around his cock like it was trying to milk him dry, then it clamped down like a vice. Every muscle in Billy’s body seized up and he was choked on a breath.

“Fuck!” Teddy cried. His hips stuttered while his cock was buried deep in Billy’s ass. “Shit, Billy,” Teddy moaned. “Fuck, I’m going to come.”

“Yes,” Billy managed to utter.

“Billy.” Teddy grunted.

“Come in me,” Billy pleaded, voice gone just as weak as his body. “Come in me, Teddy, come on.”

Teddy stilled over him, growling against the shell of Billy’s ear. “Not yet,” he panted. “You make the hottest sounds when you’re getting fucked, Billy, I need to hear more.”

“Fill me, Teddy.” Billy whispered. “Make me yours. You said that I’m yours. Please.”

That pushed Teddy over the edge. He damn near whimpered as he drew back, the slick slide of his thick shaft against Billy’s muscles almost too good for him to stand. Teddy rolled his hips a few more times, then shoved deep just like Billy had asked, and he rocked there, body wracked with tremors. He was biting his lip. His fingers clutched at Billy’s hair hard enough to probably sting, and he panted open-mouthed against Billy’s cheek as he kept going with shallow thrusts of his hips.

“Going to come, Billy… Billy!”

He came for what felt like hours, emptying deep into Billy as Billy tried desperately to tighten up for him one last time.

“Billy,” Teddy whispered pitifully after almost a full minute of still silence. He shuddered and they both moaned through the aftershocks. Billy slumped back onto the mattress and Teddy was left draped over him, his softening cock still buried inside the man under him.

Teddy smacked a messy kiss against Billy’s cheek and pushed to his elbows. He looked down as he carefully began to pull out. It really was a pleasing sight, to see a good amount of his come drippling out of Billy’s puffy, red hole.

Teddy stayed on Billy for a good while; just listening his breathing and gently caressing all the parts of him his hands reached. Finally Teddy planted a gentle kiss on Billy’s lips, whose eyes were still closed, and rose. He walked with slightly wobbly legs over to the wash stand and grabbed a small towel. He dampened the cloth in the bowl of water and wiped himself clean, and then walked back to Billy, kneeling next to him. As he was wiping Billy’s stomach and chest clean from sweat and come, Billy opened his eyes and looked at Teddy.

“Hi.” Billy whispered.

“Hello.” Teddy quietly said back and caressed Billy’s cheek with his hand.

Billy melted against the touch and sighed happily. “That was…” He tried, but his words petered out.

“Good?” Teddy asked and moved his legs to sit more comfortably.

“Yeah.” Billy nodded. “So good. I’ve never been with someone like you. You are just so, so… you.”

Teddy smiled and raised Billy’s hand to his lips, kissing it.

“Turn over.” Teddy said gently and placed his hand on Billy’s hip, turning the man on his belly. Teddy gently brought the piece of cloth to the cleft of Billy’s ass, wiping away the mess back there. When the towel slipped deeper in to the groove, Billy hissed.

“Fuck.”

Teddy stopped immediately. “Sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s a bit late for that.” Billy looked over his shoulder and smiled tiredly, but contently. “You don’t happen to belong to the equine family, do you? Because it feels like I’ve been buggered by a horse.”

Teddy blushed and sputtered, to which Billy laughed and rolled back on his back.

“You’re adorable.” Billy said fondly. “You weren’t so coy and bashful twenty minutes ago.”

“Well,” Teddy hummed. “I have many sides.”

“That you do Teddy Altman.” Billy said and rose to sit next to Teddy, legs crossed. “That you do.”

Teddy pulled Billy against his side and held the man close; neither of them said anything for a while, until Billy spoke.

“I’ll go and get us some tea.”

Billy rose, using Teddy’s shoulder as leverage, and headed to the kitchen. Teddy stayed cross-legged on the floor and looked as Billy left the room without a thread on him. His beautiful pale skin was bathed in the soft blue hues of summer night and Billy’s raven hair looked even darker than it usually did. He was more beautiful than anything Teddy had ever seen, or ever would; of this Teddy was sure.

He stood up and stretched his back, making a satisfied grunt when the vertebras popped back in their places. Teddy grabbed the wet towel and left it to dry on the back of a chair. The room smelled of sweat and sex, not that Teddy minded it; still, he opened the window and allowed the fresh air to pour in. Just then Billy walked in with two steaming tin mugs of tea. As he gave one to Teddy, he nodded towards the open window.

“Good, the smell in here was a bit…” He didn’t specify.

“Carnal?” Teddy guessed.

Billy took a sip from his tea. “I was going to say come-ish, but let’s go with that.”

Teddy snorted. “I’m pretty sure that’s not a real word.”

“I’m pretty sure it is.” Billy shrugged with a small smile. “Even if it isn’t, it is a good description.”

Teddy smiled and walked over to the window. There were few drops of rain clinging to the window pane as Teddy looked out. The rain was nothing more than a light summer shower and the air in the morning would smell fresh and invigorating.

Billy lit the oil lamp on his desk and the room was bathed in a soft hues. He also lifted the mattress back on the bedframe, changed the dirty sheet to a clean one, and placed the pillow in its right place. After he was done, he sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Teddy and Teddy turned a bit and looked back.

Billy’s eyes kept roaming over his naked body, not in sexual or hungry manner, though. It was as if Billy was trying to memorize the image of Teddy as he was now; bathed in the light of the lamp while holding his steaming mug of tea, golden hair contrasted against the dark window behind him.

Billy looked contemplative, almost serious, Teddy thought.

“What is it?” Teddy asked and walked over to Billy, sitting next to him on the bed.

“It’s nothing, it’s…” Billy didn’t continue; his answer was cut short by a sob.

Teddy’s heart lurched in anguish as he saw the tears welling in Billy’s eyes.

“Billy, what… What is it?” Teddy asked hoarsely, taking Billy’s mug from his hands, lowering his own and Billy’s mug on the floor. “Did I hurt you, did…” Teddy whispered.

He didn’t know what he had done, but Billy was crying. He had somehow hurt Billy and the thought of it made Teddy ill. He started to pull back, hoping that Billy could forgive him whatever his trespass had been.

Billy’s hand grabbed his and Billy laced his fingers with Teddy’s. “Don’t go, please.” He whispered pitifully.

Teddy stopped and gently tightened his hold on Billy’s hand. “What is it, Billy? Please tell me.” Teddy knew his own voice sounded weak, he felt weak.

“Billy, please.” Teddy pleaded quietly. He wanted to make it better; he’d do anything for the man crying in front of him.

“I can’t.” Billy sobbed and tears dropped onto his naked lap. “I can’t.” He whispered again. “You’ll hate me for it. I can’t.” Billy’s shoulders shook from the sobs and Teddy’s heart was breaking.

“Billy,” Teddy swallowed thickly. “There’s nothing in this world you could say or do to me that would make me hate you, Billy. Please.” Teddy’s voice was cracking.

“I… I…” Billy tried.

Then with voice so quiet, so broken he managed to say three little words.

“I love you.”

Teddy’s heart felt three sizes too large to his chest.

“I love you, Teddy.” Billy whispered through his tears. “I love you, even if it is too soon. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Teddy brought their foreheads together, they both were crying.

“Billy.” Teddy whispered, laughing wetly. “Do you really think I don’t love you?”

Billy lifted his gaze and Teddy brought his hands to cradle Billy’s head.

“I love you.” Teddy whispered. “I love you, Billy.”

Billy’s face contorted in sorrow and he tried to pull away. “Please, Teddy. Please don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

Teddy’s hands kept Billy in place and Teddy locked his eyes with Billy’s. “I love you, William Kaplan. I. Love. You.” Teddy said sternly and wiped away the tears in Billy’s eyes with his thumb.

Billy looked at him in disbelief, but behind it all Teddy could see the smallest traces of hope.

“You do?” Billy whispered as if he couldn’t fathom it. “You really do?”

“ _Minä rakastan sinua_.” Teddy said again. “ _Ich liebe Dich._ ” Teddy said in German. “How do you say it in English?” Teddy asked with a small smile.

“It’s ‘ _I love you’_.” Billy replied, looking dazed.

“ _I love you._ ” Teddy said in English, hoping the pronunciation was close enough.

Billy brought his hand to rest on Teddy’s cheek. “Teddy.” He whispered and Teddy knew what he meant.

Teddy slid his hand to the back of Billy’s neck and pulled him into a soft kiss, then proceeded to press kisses against Billy’s brow, down the bridge of his nose and against the crest of his lip.  

“I love you too.” Teddy murmured against Billy’s lips. “Love you so much.” Pulling Billy to his lap, Teddy gently wrapped his arms around his love, not intending to let go. They sat there for a long time, murmuring confessions of love to each other. 

Eventually Billy’s breathing turned heavier and heavier, sleepier.

Teddy didn’t even ask permission, he just rolled onto his side with Billy’s arms around him, and pulled a blanket over them. Billy was barely awake and just nuzzled against Teddy’s chest, intertwining his legs with the Germans. Teddy buried his face in Billy’s hair, breathing in his scent.

“Good night.” He whispered and slipped his large arms around Billy, pulling them tightly together. “I love you.” He whispered even more quietly.

Billy didn’t reply. There was just a ghost of a kiss placed on Teddy’s left pectoral and a small content huff. Teddy smiled and closed his eyes, his breathing slowing down and deepening.

Teddy fell asleep with the man he loved, holding him tightly in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mein Schatz = My dearest (German)  
> Ich liebe Dich = I love you (German)  
> Minä rakastan sinua = I love you (Finnish)  
> Moonlight Serenade by Glenn Miller: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TB_8H23EDI
> 
> Jaloviina cut brandy (cut brandy is a liquor made of brandy/cognac and neutral grain spirit) is an institution in Finland. It has been on the market since 1932 and has remained extremely popular since. During the war the Army distributed it to troops on special occasions (Christmas, Independence Day, etc.).  
> Cut brandy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cut_brandy
> 
> You can taste the same stuff the boys are drinking, few years back they started to re-manufacture the same army version they gave to Finnish soldiers during the war: https://www.alko.fi/en/tuotteet/103996/Puolustuslaitos-Leikattua
> 
> The label simply reads:  
> Department of Defence  
> Cut  
> Cognac and grain spirit
> 
>  
> 
> Here’s a link to the picture that made me write the short part near the end where Teddy stands naked by the window. The picture is NSFW-ish: http://cris-art.tumblr.com/post/162843410458/if-you-want-to-support-my-art-buy-me-a-coffee  
> And here is a link to a picture where Teddy holds Billy close. It served as the inspiration to the end scene. The picture is also NSFW-ish: http://cris-art.tumblr.com/post/150184778318/billy-and-teddy-from-the-last-chapter-of-the-fic
> 
> Both are by talented artist Cris, her art is amazing. So do check out her works if you haven’t seen them before. Art on her site ranges from sweet to utter smut. (Amazing!) 
> 
> This was supposed to be a short and clean filler chapter. It didn’t turn out like that. Obviously. So, after typing 16 thousand words with two smutty scenes; here is chapter Four. It’s been three months and I hope the wait hasn’t been too long. I’m slowly managing to increase the speed of my writing, but writer’s blocks still are an issue. Hopefully this chapter is to someone’s liking. I’ve never actually written any kind of smut before and as an experience it was, well, bloody good fun!  
> (Part of this story was written while on class about quantitative analysis in scientific research. Yes, it was that part. I’m a horrible person.)
> 
> (*Coughs*) Moving on.
> 
> This story is now pushing over the 40 thousand word limit and all of my original plans concerning it have become useless. It was supposed to be about 50 thousand words in ten chapters, five thousand words each. Hah! Not going to happen.  
> I’ve been planning to add another plotline and if I decide to do so, this thing will be an absolute behemoth. It will be long-ish even if I write this story like I originally planned, with no extra plot added. Anyway, I have some time to think because for the rest of the year I’m busy with my studies and that, more or less, takes the precedence. The next chapter is already drafted (in my head), and it probably will be out well into the next year. I do apologize for my slow updating schedule.  
> Also, 500 hits to this story. Wow! I was amazed when the counter climbed to 100 hits, and now it’s half a thousand. Thank you!  
> As always, if you want to criticise, or you have ideas, or you just want to chat, do leave a comment.  
> Enjoy the brisk autumn weather. I know I will.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Five months… I’m so sorry about the long wait.
> 
> (I have also realised that my punctuation - placing of commas to be exact - sucks. Sorry about that as well.)

///\\\\\

 

Billy opened his eyes, then squinted and yawned. He had no idea what the time was, but the room was bathed in the bright early morning light. _Ugh_. Closing the curtains seemed like a decent idea but the moment he tried to move he realised that he couldn’t. Billy was in fact mushed between the wall and something that felt like a wall.

 

_Teddy._

 

The heavy weight of Teddy’s large body was partly on Billy and the blond’s strong arms were holding the smaller man firmly in place. Even their legs were entwined in such a manner that Billy doubted if it was even possible to untangle them. Teddy was like some giant octopus trying to keep his prey immobile. As a result Billy was feeling hot, he was thirsty, and he was reasonably convinced that Teddy’s crushing embrace prevented blood flow to his body’s lower half. All in all…

He loved it. Absolutely loved how Teddy’s arms felt around him.

Billy had never actually woken next to someone, let alone in someone’s arms, and the fact that the person holding him was Teddy; it filled Billy with unrivalled sense of calm. He felt so safe and content. It was as if Teddy was some great, big barrier between the awful, real world and the blissful land of happiness. Billy felt loved.

_I am loved._

 

He was loved. He _was_ loved!

Billy had gone and confessed his feelings to Teddy; feelings that had crept upon him unnoticed. He hadn’t even realised that he loved the German. Not until when the blond had tenderly held him in the soft gloom of the sauna, right after the cheeky bastard had poured a bucketful of cold water all over him! That had been the moment when Billy had been able to name the emotion inside him. At that moment Teddy had become more than a friend; he had become a part of Billy’s life and - more importantly - part of his heart.

And then, _then_ Billy had gone and spilled his heart out, right after world shattering sex. He had been foolish and told about his feelings, told that he loved Teddy; fully expecting that he would not reciprocate them. _He would not laugh_ ; Billy had thought.

God no. Not Teddy.

There was not a mean bone in his body. But he would have gently told why he didn’t yet love Billy and why he never might. He probably even would have helped Billy to pick up the pieces of his broken heart, as someone who was interested in him but nothing more than that. But instead of that, Teddy had told him that he loved him. Loved Billy!

Smile started to creep upon Billy’s lips, he still felt giddy when thinking the last night. It still felt like a dream. The pure, utter, sheer impossibility that Teddy; kind, caring, beautiful Teddy loved him. But he did, and Billy loved him. And now, a few hours of sleep later, Billy was wrapped in his massive arms and everything felt right. This was how Billy wanted to wake tomorrow, and the morning after that, and every morning into perpetuity; in the arms of the man he loved.

Billy wiggled slightly and he could feel Teddy’s steady breathing tickling the back of his neck. After squirming some more Billy was finally able to get Teddy’s even breathing to change a bit; he was rousing. Teddy’s grip on him tightened a tad, then loosened, and Billy could feel lips pressing against the back of his neck in a loving manner.

“Morning.” Teddy murmured next to his ear - voice low and rough with sleep - and placed another kiss amongst Billy’s hair, causing Billy to practically melt into the unyielding embrace of the blond.

“Good morning to you too.” Billy replied softly and tried to turn so as to properly see the man he loved.

Teddy however had different plans and he just tightened his hold and prevented Billy from moving.

“Mhmm.” He hummed and nuzzled Billy’s neck contently. “Let’s just stay like this.”

“I need to move.” Billy said and tried to move Teddy’s weight off him. “I’m sweaty and thirsty so move, you big lug.” Billy groaned.

Teddy completely ignored him.

“It’s too early and this feels so nice.” Teddy murmured and Billy could again feel lips pressing on his neck. “I feel warm and cared for all over.” He continued and Billy could hear the smirk in his voice. “ _All_ over.”

And then Billy realised it; Teddy’s morning erection was firmly pressed between his arse cheeks. He shuddered when Teddy’s hips rolled sinfully, his large cock dragging so deliciously against Billy’s hole which was still tender from previous night’s activities. Small tendrils of lust crept throughout his body and Billy _wanted_ so badly.

Teddy’s hold on him didn’t waver and the blond just rolled so that Billy ended up being pressed between the bed and the larger man’s body.

“Mhmm.” Teddy hummed as he ran a broad, sleep-clumsy hand on Billy’s arm, squeezing the muscle there to get some blood flowing into the arm.  Teddy’s warm breath against his neck was slow and even and he slid his other hand along Billy’s waist and pressed a thumb into his spine, running it up and down along the groove. Eventually Teddy bent down to press soft kisses on the sensitive skin of Billy’s back and the man pinned against the mattress was helpless to prevent soft, shuddery noises from escaping from his mouth.

After a bit though, Teddy decided to take it up a notch. His tiny kisses grew wet, his tongue flicking out at the skin all along Billy’s neck and shoulder. He felt the change in Teddy’s breathing just at that and also noticed how his roaming hands grew more demanding. By the time the blond added a bit of teeth and nipped at the back of Billy’s neck, Billy let out a soft little moan, his head shifting a bit to expose his neck more easily to the man he loved.

His mouth dropped back to Billy’s neck as his lips fastened against the skin and he began to suck softly. Immediately Billy breathing turned heavier, and as Teddy’s hand moved to grip Billy’s hip, he began to squirm a bit, rubbing down against the mattress.

Teddy kept it up this time. He kept sucking and nibbling harder and harder, leaving little pink marks that would quickly become hickeys, as Billy gasped softly and bit lightly at his bottom lip to hold back the loud moan he was trying to hide. He rubbed at Billy’s hip and side, but dipped no lower, teasing relentlessly. Teddy eventually and ever so slowly progressed towards his ear, finally stopping there, his breathing hot and heavy.

“I’m going to fuck you now.” Teddy murmured with a sleep roughened voice and nipped at the shell of Billy’s ear. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” Billy replied shakily.

“Good.” Teddy rumbled - voice now considerably less sleepy - and pressed his weight against Billy’s back and slid his right hand to cradle his jaw, pressing the fingers against Billy’s lips.

“Suck.” Teddy ordered and Billy did as told, softly pulling in three thick fingers - more than enough to fill his mouth snugly - softly massaging them with his tongue.

“That’s it, Billy, that’s it. Get them nice and wet. Such a good Billy.” The blond murmured.

Billy moaned in response, suckling the fingers and coating them with spit.

“You really like my fingers, don’t you?” Teddy chuckled darkly as the man under him kept making soft shuddery noises.

“Yes.” Billy whispered as Teddy withdrew his fingers.

“What else?”

Billy knew what the man pinning him down wanted to hear but he was too embarrassed to say it.

“Billy, what else do you like about me?” Teddy asked and slid his cock in the groove of Billy’s arse.

“Your cock, I like your cock.” Billy whispered and would have blushed if his skin was not already flushed.

“Is that so?” Teddy hummed and Billy could again feel a smirk against his neck. “So… You can’t wait for me to get inside you, hmm?”

“Please…” Billy whispered and shuddered when Teddy rewarded his plea with a nip on his neck.

“Don’t worry.” Teddy cooed. “I’ll be inside of you soon enough. I just want to make you feel particularly good before I bury myself in that pretty, little hole of yours.” And with that he proceeded to press his spit slick fingers between Billy’s cheeks and against his entrance.

Billy immediately groaned, his hips lifted to press against Teddy’s fingers and Teddy chuckled deviously. His fingertip pressed, rubbing in a little circle, but just spent a while teasing, no penetration. It drove Billy wild and before long he was gasping and panting, pressing up against Teddy’s finger.

“Teddy…” he gasped softly, his request clear.

And Teddy complied and slowly wiggled his finger inside. The passage was a bit tight as first, but Billy was still reasonably slick from their previous night’s activities and it didn’t take much before Teddy was moving his finger in and out in a languid pace.

Billy’s hands were gripping at the sheets, his face pressed into his pillow and muffling his moans as the blond’s finger thrust into him. Teddy pressed the digit purposely downward and had to feel how Billy’s entire body shudder as he gasped sharply; how his hips bucked upward to ask for more, but instead, Teddy pulled the finger out and then slowly replaced it with two.

“You should see yourself.” Teddy growled. “Your hole is so fucking beautiful, just quivering and twitching for me. It needs something inside it, doesn’t it?” Teddy breathed heavily. “Needs something to fill that tight, snug heat; my tongue, my fingers, my prick… Isn’t that so?”

Billy barely registered the question; all of his cognitive functions were preoccupied with the feeling of Teddy’s fingers doing wicked things inside him.

The blond continued to assault Billy’s depths with increased vigour and leaned down to speak hoarsely. “Answer me, Billy.”

“Yes.” Billy mewled after Teddy hit his prostate with a well-placed swipe of his forefinger. “I need you, please.”

“Good boy.”

A long moan that was almost a whimper vibrated in Billy’s throat and Teddy didn’t hesitate any longer to give Billy what he needed. His fingers pressed against Billy’s prostate, rubbing in small circles, up and down, back and forth, and he instantly fell apart, reduced to a long, aching string of whimpers as he panted and shuddered. Billy didn’t see it but Teddy spent a moment watching the beautiful curve of his love’s ass as he fucked softly into the mattress for the friction, before his mouth dropped again to Billy’s neck to suck another hickey onto the skin.

Teddy’s fingers were relentless, shifting only between spreading Billy open softly and rubbing into him with gusto, and it wasn’t long between the prostate massage, and the hot mouth on his neck, and the friction of the sheets against his arousal that Billy’s breathing picked up, his moans growing far sharper and more desperate, and then he was coming, his entire body tensing and shuddering, his hole tightening around Teddy’s thick fingers.

Warm wetness spread between Billy’s stomach and the mattress, but he could not find the wherewithal to care, he simply felt jittery as Teddy’s fingers inside him continued their ministrations.

“There we go.” Teddy murmured. “So good to me Billy, you’re so good to me.” Still he continued to work his fingertips against the sensitive organ inside Billy until he felt him give a tiny jerk at the overstimulation; Teddy then removed his fingers and wiped them on the sheets.

For a moment the only sound and only movement in the room was their heavy breathing and heaving chests, but finally Teddy reached down to adjust himself against Billy’s ass.

He lined himself up to press between the cheeks of Billy’s behind, fully hard, rubbing himself lazily against his tender hole. Teddy softly manhandled Billy to a better position so that the base of his cock was pressed up against Billy’s balls from behind, a slow steady pressure along with the pleasure of Teddy’s broad hand on his back that sent chills chasing over his scalp and down his thighs. The head of Teddy’s cock was big and wet, pressed right up against Billy’s entrance like they could start fucking any time if the blond just slipped into him, warm and easy.

Teddy had again used his brute strength to position Billy just so, making sure that the man under him was exactly where he wanted him to be. It should have been slightly disconcerting when the blond would - and could - jostle Billy any way he wanted. He could do anything to Billy and he would be helpless to resist, but it being Teddy, it meant that Billy trusted him implicitly. It was an intoxicating feeling; to allow the large man to be this bossy and in charge just because Billy knew that if anytime he was asked to stop he would. There had never been a bedpartner before Teddy whom Billy would have allowed to behave in this manner, but this gentle, caring man was not like his previous bedfellows. Teddy was loving and careful and it was because of this that Billy allowed Teddy to press him into the mattress, him to use his strength in bed and to be a little rough. It all made Billy feel small, but in a good way; in a way where he trusted that his Teddy would keep him safe and happy and would shield him from the evils of world. If not forever then at least for the few fleeting moments they could share together.

Billy’s skin prickled where Teddy’s hands started to pull the cheeks of his ass apart, pulling Billy bodily back onto his cock, not just pressed against it.  He could feel Teddy’s heartbeat against his ass, but the blond just pushed his arm back under Billy’s pillow and cuddled back up, to rub sandpapery kisses all down his neck.  Billy turned his face down into the pillow that smelled like Teddy’s cologne and sex and sweat. They were practically fucking already with Teddy’s cock rolling against his ass and getting him slick with just pre-come.

Teddy dug a thumb into his back at the same time he bit into Billy’s shoulder; the pain together was so bright and clear that it made Billy’s scalp tingle and his back arch.  The blond yanked him back, mouthing at the bite mark to keep it bright with the scrape of his morning stubble, mouth hot and soft where he started sucking bruises.

“You’re mine.” Teddy growled between the bites. “You’re mine and no one else’s. If anyone else touches you I’m going to burn them. Say it, Billy.”

Teddy’s words, his licks and bites; they were driving Billy nearer and nearer to a second orgasm and he could just moan in response amidst Teddy’s rutting.

“Yours.” Billy uttered.

Teddy’s possessive grip wasn’t wavering, though, his bites and licks remained sharp between Billy’s shoulder blades, keeping him too boneless to fight back or do anything besides roll his head and grind back into Teddy’s massive cock.  He was hot and thick and frustrating, just the hard length of him and the tip too high for Billy to push himself down on, all pressure and no promise.

Billy reached under himself, wrapping his lithe fingers around his length to give his aching member some relief. But only after a couple of tugs a large hand pulled his hand away and pinned it against the mattress.

“We are going to do this like we did last night.” Teddy hummed darkly. “The only way you are going to get off again is my cock up your arse. Say you understand.”

“Yes.” Billy moaned into the pillow.

Teddy removed his hand with a hum of approval and finally reached over him for the Vaseline on the floor next to the bed, still uncapped from last night.  He was slow, purposefully moving with certain languidness, leaned in to kiss long and slow while he slicked his fingers up and also applying some of the lubricant on Billy’s entrance as well.

His mouth was hot against Billy’s, beginnings of stubble prickling Billy’s lips as he tried to get an angle to bite and Teddy wouldn’t let him. The weight of him leaning over was intoxicating, having that bulk pinning him down was like being buried under a slab of sun-warmed granite and Billy would have been happy to just stay there, just keep being kissed, and manhandled by demanding yet gentle hands.

And finally Teddy moved closer and rubbed his slick cock against Billy’s twitching hole. And then it was just the tip, Teddy put a hand on his ass to keep Billy from sinking back into him, and he was too strong to push against at this angle.  Teddy rocked into him by millimetres, kissing softly along Billy’s shoulder like he was not digging blunt fingers into his thighs to keep Billy from fucking himself how he wanted.  It didn’t hurt but the unspoken order of not to move was clear. Teddy’s hand was hard on his thigh and the round blunt tip of his cock pulling out just far enough to push back into him agonizingly slow, over and over, making him oversensitive, everything boiled down to that slow stretch and waiting on edge for it.

“Such a good boy.” Teddy cooed. “Doing what you promised so nicely. My little Billy being so good for me.”

When Teddy finally sank into him, it was in one long, slow push that took Billy’s breath away, making him feel every second of it, and Billy could feel his own heartbeat jump under Teddy’s hands as he smoothed a broad hand down Billy’s chest.  His cock was impossibly thick, Teddy shifted against him and settled, thighs pressed to Billy’s, spreading them wider, and nose pressed into Billy’s neck like they were just spooning to sleep, but his cock made Billy feel spread apart even though that thick member had already been inside him the last night. Even Teddy’s fingers had not loosened him enough to lessen the stretch that his magnificently thick prick caused to Billy’s hole.

“ _Vittu…_ ” Billy whimpered into the pillow as the blond pushed in.

“God, Billy.” Teddy groaned as he pressed deeper. “It’s like I haven’t fucked or even fingered you… So tight, so fucking tight, my beautiful Billy. _My_ Billy.”

There was a deep groan when Teddy’s member was finally buried to the hilt inside Billy and neither of the men had no idea who made the groan.

“Fu- fuck Billy-” Teddy panted, daring to thrust a little faster as Billy’s body seemed to draw him in. “Uh- fuck- baby…you feel so- ah- you’re perfect, fuck Billy you’re fuckin’ perfect-" he gasped, and a wrecked moan of pleasure tore from his lips as his balls smacked against Billy’s perineum, his cock seated fully inside the man under him.

Billy felt like a mess and he desperately tried to muffle the wrecked noises against the pillow. He gasped, and moaned with every invading centimetre, his voice breaking as he cried out as Teddy’s long, thick cock filled him up. He shuddered, and whined, unable to keep his hands still, fingers gripping the sheets for dear life as Teddy pushed himself in again.

“Good boy…” Teddy whispered under his breath. “Love you so much, I love you so fucking much. I wanted to tell you last night but you beat me to it.”

“Te- Teddy.” Billy moaned. “Love you too.”

Easing forward, Teddy pushed himself deeper, occasionally pulling his hips back a bit before slowly pushing back in, allowing Billy time to adjust to the size of his cock. But Billy was needy, and as desperate as he was, though Teddy gripped his hips, trying to hold him in place, Billy shifted his hips minutely and sought out friction against the mattress, rolling them back, pushing Teddy deeper. Every exhale was a low, erotic moan or wanton grunt, Teddy continuing to kiss and suck at Billy’s throat as the man scrunched his brow in pleasure, jaw dropping open.

“Teddy-” he gasped raggedly, his arms trembling, the feeling of Teddy’s cock stretching him wide making him weak with arousal. And suddenly Billy felt Teddy’s thighs, flush against his ass, his cock again buried to the hilt inside him, and a wrecked moan tore from his lips. He was hot, and full, the aching, burning in his ass just on the right side of pain. Teddy’s breath was laboured against his neck as Billy’s muscles clenched and fluttered around his cock, veins dragging at his sensitive, velvety insides. He could have stayed there forever, pinned under Teddy’s bulk, full to bursting with his long, heavy girth, the other man’s hands stroking him so tenderly. He could had forgotten the entire world that surrounded them, forgotten that their relationship could never be safe, and normal, hell, he could even forget that he never knew which minute would be his last, so long as he could stay here… right here… so long as Billy could stay in Teddy’s arms, he would be happy.

Teddy began to shift his hips, slowly at first, and in tiny increments as Billy adjusted to the movements. And then he fell into a rhythm, rolling his hips, in deep, slow thrusts that had Billy falling apart, reducing him to a helpless, shivering mess. He gasped raggedly, his arms shaking and soft whimpers escaping from his mouth, but Teddy was relentless. He pushed into him, deeper with every thrust, using his bulk and muscles to ram deeper than anyone had ever pushed inside Billy before, he arched, crying aloud as the ceaseless pushes allowed Teddy’s cock to drag over his sensitive prostate, sending electric racing through his body.

“You like that baby?” Teddy whispered, thrusting his hips just right so that he hit Billy’s sweet spot square on, wrenching another cry from him. “Hmm, sweetheart? Do you need my thick cock in that tight arse of yours? Fuck, Billy. You do, you really do.” Teddy growled. “You need the stretch and the length to feel whole, and fuck if I’m not privileged to give mine to you. God, you should see yourself; it’s almost obscene how your little hole stretches around my prick.”

Billy made an indistinct noise in the back of his throat, his short fingernails digging into the mattress. His mouth was frozen open in a silent cry of wrecked pleasure, his face flushed, and brow damp with sweat.

“Fuck…” Teddy growled. “I want to be like the wolf in the Little Red Riding Hood. Do you know how the story goes?”

“Yes.” Billy replied shakily.

“Really?” Teddy asked hoarsely. “Even the original version of it?”

“No.” Billy managed to breathe as the blond kept up the thrusts.

“Well,” Teddy whispered dangerously. “After the wolf eats the Little Red Riding Hood, do you know what happens then?”

Billy managed to utter a garbled ‘no’ after a particularly had thrust.

“Nothing.” Teddy snarled and increased his pace. “The wolf eats her and that’s it, the end. And I want to be that wolf; I want to eat you up, Billy. Eat my pretty, little Billy in one go and keep you as mine. Would you like that, would like it if I made you mine forever?” He asked and scraped his teeth over Billy’s shoulders, licking the red marks that formed.

Billy moaned aloud - a ‘yes’ somewhere amongst the groans and mewls - sweat trickling down his temples. His mind had gone all but completely blank as Teddy ravaged his smaller body in the sweetest way possible, thrusting into him, long and deep and unrelenting, stimulating him until white spots burst in front of his vision. Billy was teetering on the edge, knowing that one little movement could nudge him over, but that’s exactly where Teddy wanted to keep him.

He apparently read Billy’s body language like an open book, and when he began to shudder more violently than before, when his lips formed helpless little gasps and half-articulated words, he would ease off, focusing his attention on his neck instead. He laved affection on his lover’s pale skin, mouthing at his jugular vein, and pressing his tongue against the hollow of his throat. Little blotches of purple had risen to the surface, though Billy barely noticed the creation of them. He was so intoxicated, so lost in the ecstasy created by Teddy’s cock splitting him that he hardly registered the sucking of the tiny brands onto his skin. They dotted his neck and shoulder, one just under the left side of his jaw and it had to be obscenely noticeable on his skin that was still pale after winter. But they simply gave Billy a sense of security that he was Teddy’s marked by him with affection.

I was perhaps foolish of him to think so, but Billy _knew_ that these were the only kind of bruises Teddy would ever leave on his body, that the only marks Billy would ever receive from him were marks he wanted, marks he would look at in the following days and brush his fingers over, smiling as he remembered the pleasure and love that was tied to them.

Finally, after alternating between deeper pushes and slow rolls, Teddy started to really throw his weight around, pinning Billy so tightly against the mattress that he couldn’t even grind his cock against the sheets, fucking him with powerful thrust that forced the air out of his lungs.

“Teddy!” He managed, his chest heaving in short, breathy gasps, “Te- Teddy please! Please I- I need- I- I- Teddy…” His pleas petered out and eventually small whimpers after every mighty thrust were the only sound he could make.

Unbeknownst to Billy, Teddy was grinning almost in a feral way, thrusting deeper as Billy very occasionally cried out and babbled in helpless, incoherent pleasure. His cock head was flushed almost aching, pressed between his body and the mattress and sliding along the pool of come and pre-come from earlier, leaking more of the clear substance all over the sheets as Teddy’s thrusts forced more out with every plunge. And the sounds Teddy kept making; god, Billy could have come from those sounds alone. Deep huffs of air, grunts and snarls, declarations of love and all that filth that came out of Teddy’s mouth were driving him wild.

“Go ahead my love,” He coaxed, “Go on baby, I want to see you come, want to feel your hole clenching around me… come for me Billy.”

Billy, his head spinning, completely delirious with pleasure, hardly registered the blond’s words. He couldn’t think, couldn’t focus, all he was aware of was the burst of wrecked pleasure that struck him every time Teddy thrust his large, gorgeous cock into his ass.

For the second time that morning, Billy felt his mind blank out with pleasure and his slender figure trembled on the bed as he came violently. His back trying to arch under Teddy’s weight and a broken cry tearing from his lips.

“I’m going to fill you up.” Teddy snarled between his huffs. “Going to fill you so deep and so full that you’ll be dripping my come for weeks.”

Teddy didn’t let him breathe; crushing Billy into the mattress with all his weight he picked up a savage pace of thrusts. Teddy’s mouth was hot as a brand on his shoulder now, fucking him too deep while Billy’s cock throbbed where it was pressed between his belly and the mattress. He could hardly breathe and didn’t want to; face pressed into the pillow and wrapped up in the smell of Teddy and their bed and drowning in it, Teddy’s breath was hot on his ear as he panted open mouthed against Billy’s shoulder.

 

_Too much, too much, too m-_

_More, more, moremoremor… More!_

 

All Billy could do was to hold on as Teddy took and took and took. Whimpering from overstimulation as the blond buried himself to the hilt again and again and then finally, the weight on him got so overwhelming that Billy didn’t know if he was shuddering through his own third climax or Teddy’s when Teddy finally came in him with a deep guttural growl.

Billy felt so full and hot and thick as volley after volley of Teddy’s come filled him, and he desperately tried to arch under him but could not as the large body over him kept him pinned down. Teddy kissed him through it, breathing heavily as he came down, nose and mouth dragging across Billy’s neck and shoulders like he was drunk. Billy could feel how the excess of Teddy’s release slid down the length of his shaft and out of his ravaged hole. The blond sprawled over Billy’s back, keeping most of his mass on top of the smaller man, slightly propping himself up with his elbows. They lay there together, both breathing hard and sweating, for several minutes, their muscles still twitching, their hips occasionally making small, involuntary thrusting motions.

After a while Teddy pulled back a bit and ran his hand reverently along the groove of Billy’s spine. “So good.” He muttered softly. “So good to me, Billy. You are so good to me, my beautiful Billy.”

“Don’t,” Billy whined when the man on him pulled back more and Teddy’s softening member slid out of his used hole. “Don’t pull out yet.”

“Shh.” Teddy hushed and ran his big thumb over Billy’s leaking hole, causing the raven haired man to whimper, then sliding the finger up Billy’s tender perineum and collecting the dripping come that had escaped, pushing it back into his hole. “I’ve got you.” He murmured and placed his softening cock against Billy’s hole, pushing himself back in. Billy whimpered and moaned at the same time, pushing against the still sizeable member breaching his tender entrance.

“There we go.” Teddy murmured and rolled on to his side, pulling Billy against his chest with his prick buried inside him. He pulled Billy’s left leg over his hip, making sure that he was pressed inside him as tightly as physically possible. “You’re going to keep my cock nice and warm for a moment.” Teddy softly mumbled and ever so slowly rolled his hips.

Billy made an approving whine.

Teddy somehow managed to pull the rumbled bedcoverings over them both and snuggled Billy firmly, possessive yet gentle arms wrapping around the smaller man. It should have been weird and sort of uncomfortable but Billy found that he enjoyed the feeling of being full of the man he loved, feeling his seed inside him hot and wet. He closed his eyes, burrowing against Teddy’s broad body with a sigh.

“Let’s just have a little nap.” Teddy murmured and Billy decided that it was an extremely good idea, his breathing turning heavier in a matter of minutes.

 

 

Few hours later Billy woke up again to the feeling of fingers carding through his hair. He yawned and turned, noticing that Teddy was no longer buried inside him and it actually made him a bit sad. But when a pair of soft lips was pressed against his, all feelings of blue were forgotten.

“Mhmm” Billy mumbled and opened his eyes.

“Morning. Again, I suppose.” Teddy smiled into the kiss and slid his large hand to cradle Billy’s jaw. “How about a second round?” He asked with a small, devious smile.

“As much as I’d like to…” Billy managed to breathe out. “We just can’t. It must be well past eight and…”

He could feel Teddy’s sigh as he moved a bit, diffusing the tension.

“You’re right.” Teddy said quietly and his hold on Billy loosened a bit; allowing Billy to turn and face him. For a moment Billy just gazed into Teddy’s blue eyes and again brought their lips together for a soft kiss which Teddy reciprocated with a content hum. Billy’s slightly sour morning breath didn’t seem to bother him; Teddy’s own one wasn’t a problem for Billy either.

Kissing Teddy was a dream, his morning stubble a pleasant chafe, lips soft, teeth unafraid to scrape and nip.  Billy responded in kind, twining their tongues in a languid dance.  Teddy hummed and threw a thick thigh over his hip, pressing forward, letting Billy feel his half hard member.  A slight wiggle put them cock to cock and they both moved instinctively, sighing into each other’s mouths. As much as Billy would have wanted to continue, he still ended the passionate kiss.

“Hi.” Billy whispered after he pulled back a fraction.

“Hello you.” Teddy smiled back and blinked lazily. “How did you sleep?”

“Soundly. Thank you for asking.” Billy mumbled against Teddy’s jaw. “Did you have a good night’s sleep?”

“Mhmm.” Teddy hummed. “I haven’t slept that well in ages, even though it was in two parts.” He grinned, causing Billy to blush. “It must have been you and your adorable little snoring.”

“I don’t snore.” Billy grumbled. “Maybe you were just in need of a release.” Billy said with a small smirk.

“Might be.” Teddy replied with a hum, but then continued slightly more levelly. “To be honest, I really needed it. It’s been a while since…”

“Since you’ve had the chance for a good shag.” Billy helpfully provided.

“Your words, not mine.” Teddy laughed and ran his hand down Billy’s back, briefly cupping one of his buttocks. “I… uhmm… I wasn’t your first, right?”

Billy smiled and locked his eyes with Teddy’s. “As much as I’d like to stroke your ego… No, you were not.” Billy pressed a quick kiss on the blond’s lips. “I haven’t done much though, just enough to know what I like and don’t like. I still lived with my parents when the war started and you know… it’s really not the place to do these kinds of things, so everything I did was usually in a slight hurry. And being in the army doesn’t exactly offer one with a lot of possibilities when it comes to someone with our tastes in bed partners.”

Teddy nodded in agreement. “So, did… did you like it? The last night and this morning I mean.”

“Yeah.” Billy sighed happily. “You were a bit more _vigorous_ than anyone else I’ve been with. But damn if it wasn’t good.” Billy found it absolutely endearing how wide Teddy’s smile got. “I liked it, and definitely needed it. So yes, you do have my permission to feel smug about it because it was the best fuck I’ve ever had.”

Billy was convinced that Teddy was about to start to purr like some big cat. He was practically shaking from that slightly smug satisfaction.

“Glad to be of assistance.” Teddy finally said with a grin.

“Shut up. You’re not some bloody greengrocer.”

“Altman’s shags. Your finest quality romps since 1942.” Teddy teased.

“God.” Billy sighed. “I’ve created a monster.”

“You love me.” Teddy sniggered.

“I do. Even if you are an idiot.”

Teddy didn’t reply, he just pulled Billy tighter against himself and rolled so that Billy was on top of him, Billy’s head pillowed on a pectoral, and large, strong arms wrapped around him. In the corner of the room, the clock ticked away quietly, echoing in the silent room. Neither man moved for a long time, both just soaked up the other’s warmth. Teddy was warm and solid and smelled like man mixed with the last remnants of his soap, sweat and sex; Billy just wanted to cover himself in that mixture of Teddy’s own scent and the faded aromas of what had to be his cologne.

The blond’s gentle fingers traced nonsense patterns up and down his spine in way that was so very comforting and Billy pressed a soft, little kiss into the warm, firm chest beneath him. It was strangely familiar. Lying like this on Teddy’s chest was the most reassuring thing Billy had ever experienced in his life. Hearing the thump-thump of his heartbeat and listening to his even breathing filled Billy with calmness that he had not often experienced in his life.

Teddy’s hand again found its way to Billy’s hair and he relished the feeling of Teddy’s fingers brushing through his hair, and he allowed his eyes to close. Neither spoke for the longest time. Billy felt himself becoming boneless in Teddy’s grip. He didn’t want to move, too content to listen to Teddy’s even heartbeat to even consider moving from that spot. Teddy was so warm and so comforting. He seriously could spend the rest of his days lying just like this, and be completely content with his life.

“We should probably get up.” Teddy said after a while.

“Yeah.” Billy groaned and pressed a kiss on the German’s chest. Teddy let go of him and Billy rolled to his back as Teddy rose to sit on the edge of the bed.

Billy remained on his back and just admired the man in front of him. Teddy was like something out of a painting; the way in which the blanket pooled around his hips and how those large, bare muscles rippled across his broad back was an enticing sight. And to top all that, the morning light illuminated him beautifully; it was like Teddy was made of light and gold. Billy was helpless to resist and ran his fingers reverently up the groove of his spine and Teddy shuddered a bit.

“Your fingers are a little bit cool.” He turned to Billy and smiled, softly grabbing Billy’s hand into his larger one and placing it against his broad chest; just above his heart. Teddy gently rubbed Billy’s fingers for a moment, warming them up, and then stood up, stretching with a groan.

He walked over to the washstand. “Do you want some water?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Billy yawned and rose to sit on the edge of the bed. Noticing the forgotten mugs full of cold tea from yesterday, “Here, use these.” Billy picked them up and gave them to Teddy.

Teddy offered Billy’s mug back to him. “Care for some tea?” Teddy asked and smiled mischievously.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Billy snorted.

“Well aren’t you picky.” Teddy hummed and walked over to the window. Opening it, he emptied the mugs outside.

“Yeah,” Billy chuckled. “I’m such a snob because I prefer my tea hot.”

“I used to dream of hot tea.” Teddy sighed with mock wistfulness. “Lukewarm tea was the best we could afford.” Teddy continued. “And now,” He glanced back at Billy. “I’m in love with someone who is such a toff that he wants his tea hot. Hot! Can you imagine?” He asked from no one in particular and poured some water into the mugs from the pitcher.

“Aww, you poor thing.” Billy cooed and walked over to Teddy and wrapped his arms around him, burying his face between the larger man’s shoulder blades. “I’m going to get you all the hot tea you want.”

“You will?” Teddy said with mock hopefulness.

“Of course I will.” Billy mumbled against Teddy’s back as he finished rinsing the mugs. “My sweetheart isn’t going to go without hot tea any longer, not if I can help it.” Billy stated sternly.

“Well that’s good to hear.” Teddy laughed, placing the mugs onto the edge of the washstand and turning, his arms winding themselves around Billy’s waist. “Aren’t I lucky.”

“You are.” Billy simply said and nuzzled against the side of Teddy’s neck.

Before neither man realized it, they were kissing again; Billy wrapped his arms around Teddy’s neck and Teddy slid his hand on Billy’s cheek, another running up and down Billy’s side. When Teddy’s hand wandered further back, stopping just on the curve of Billy’s ass, Billy moaned.

“Hold still.” Teddy mumbled and grabbed a washcloth from the back of a chair, dampening it. He gently turned Billy around and ran the wet cloth up Billy’s arse cheeks, causing him to hiss and grimace. “It’ll feel even worse if I don’t clean you now.”

“Yeah…” Billy grumbled and leaned against the washstand to give Teddy’s deft hands a better access to his most private parts. Teddy actually knelt down and pried Billy’s cheeks apart.

“Push.” Teddy gently ordered.

Billy did as told but felt himself blushing as good amount of the blond’s come trickled out of him. Teddy finished his cleaning by running the clean parts of the washcloth up and down his crack few times, causing Billy to moan as the wet cloth dragged against his hole.

“There we are. Just needs the final sprucing up.” Teddy said, his voice a low drawl, and dragged a spit covered thumb across Billy’s sensitive hole, causing him to flinch and moan. “Good as new, if not little red and puffy but I’m sure you don’t mind.”

“Guh.” Was the only sound Billy could articulate when the pad of Teddy’s thumb dragged across his entrance and if the blond had not stood up quickly to grab hold of him, he would have tumbled down onto the floor as a shivering mess.

“Billy,” Teddy turned Billy around and pressed a kiss on his lips, causing some of his cognitive functions to return.

“Mhmm.” Billy sighed against Teddy’s lips, blinking owlishly.

“Can I draw you naked sometime?”

Billy stilled for a moment. “I… I don’t see why not.”

“Good.”

Billy could feel Teddy smiling and Teddy sketching him naked was suddenly a thing he wanted to experience. Though, the thought of allowing someone to capture his naked self permanently on a piece of paper, even if that someone was Teddy, felt slightly scary.

“Are you sure I’m pretty enough.” Billy asked while biting his lip, knowing fully well that it sounded like he was fishing for compliments and perhaps partly knowingly, partly subconsciously, he was.

Billy knew fully well how Teddy looked, tall, blond, and shoulders wide and muscles big enough that he could probably for a moment serve as an substitute for Atlas. All of that topped with a smile that could disarm a small country, and, in short; he wouldn’t look out of place in a movie. Billy certainly would pay a pretty penny for the chance of seeing him in the pictures, though he wasn’t exactly unbiased.

Problem was that Billy felt so bloody insecure all the time.

For fucks sake! Teddy loved him, he loved Teddy, Teddy told him constantly that he was beautiful and wonderful and all that. But it was as if he was continually looking assurance from Teddy that he wasn’t dreaming all of this, them. And even with Teddy’s compliments and confessions of love Billy still; _still_ felt like he was in some great, big play. Feeling like that the play would at some point turn out to be a farce with him as the lead.

Two thirds into this play, Teddy would exit stage left with someone better suited for him, and Billy would be left to stand in the limelight by himself, while the audience would holler and laugh at his ridiculous hopes and dreams. Of course it would be hilarious! Agonizingly plain Billy dreaming of ending together with someone like Teddy, then, seemingly, forming a relationship with him, but in the end everything would just turn out to be a great, big misunderstanding by one William Kaplan.

Bow to the audience. Curtains close. The End.  

“Billy?” Teddy asked worriedly and suddenly Billy realised that he had stood there quietly for far too long.

“It’s nothing, I’m fi-” Billy tried, but Teddy cut in.

“Don’t lie to me.” Teddy said sternly, but not unkindly, more like he was trying to get some sense into him. “You still have your doubts about us. Don’t you?” He said out of the blue and Billy stiffened, not in the good way though.

“I…” Billy swallowed thickly. “Yes.” He finally said and continued. “I love you, Teddy, so much, and you love me too. I believe you when you say that you love me, but… it’s like a part of me just won’t accept it. It is as if the logical part of me is, I don’t know? Overly logical, if you know what I mean?”

Billy glanced at Teddy and continued. “It is as if a part of me is trying to convince the rest of me that, I’m… interpreting this, us, in completely the wrong way. Or rather, well… like you said; I’m not sure about us, of myself, not good enough for you, not good looking enough, not smart enough, and so on. People like you and me, and I’m not talking about you being German and me being a Jew, or even us being men, it’s just that…”

Billy sighed. “Extraordinary people, pretty people like you; they don’t end up together with, the likes of me, the plain and unremarkable ones.”

“Were you bullied at school?” Teddy asked quietly and Billy’s eyes shot up.

“I… no? Yes? I don’t know.” Billy mumbled lowly.

“I was never really pushed around or anything like that. There wasn’t even name-calling that much, but I… I was always just sort of outside of it all. I was that slightly awkward boy who was awful at PE and liked to read.  No one ever really noticed me, to one way or the other, which was good I suppose. I was one of those people who could stay away from school for a week and people wouldn’t even notice it. I know it’s stupid to complain of the fact that I wasn’t even bullied, but,”

Billy laughed humourlessly. “To be someone so plain, so uninteresting, so not worth someone’s while, so invisible that you weren’t even worth being picked on, that… It’s…” He whispered.

Teddy remained quiet, looking at Billy.

“And now you are there.” Billy said and looked at Teddy. “You’re like the boys I had forbidden dreams about when I was in the sixth form, those handsome, sporty and outgoing popular types. Those who could just charm their way through life, who could get anything and anyone they wanted, who never even glanced at people like me, us unassuming ones. Well sometimes they did,” Billy made a small shrug. “Only when they wanted something from us. When they needed help in their essays or just wanted to string us along for fun, to make us think we were friends with them, you know how it is.” Billy shuddered a bit.

“So,” Teddy said quietly. “You’re afraid that I’m just using you for… sex?”

Billy lowered his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Teddy smiled gently and brought his hands to cradle Billy’s face, lifting his chin up. “Like you said, I love you. I love you so much that I feel like I’m, I’m… Dammit.” Teddy pressed his forehead against Billy’s and sighed.

“I’m not a poet, Billy.” Teddy sighed again, this time with a smile. “Give me a canvas and some paint and I could show how much I love you, how I see you. In fact,” Teddy’s hands slipped loose from Billy’s hips and he walked over to his clothes, still in a rumpled heap on the floor. Picking up his trousers, he fished something out of one of the pockets; a piece of paper, carefully folded few times.

Walking back to Billy, Teddy folded the paper open and looked at it for a moment, “I finished this yesterday, just before we went to sauna.” Teddy said and handed the paper to Billy. “It’s just a quick sketch, but…  This is how I see you.” He said quietly.

It was a simple pencil sketch, graphite lines sketched into the paper in fine strokes. It was an almost photographic depiction of Billy, simple as Teddy had said and yet, made with such skill that even the few careful lines were enough to make it almost lifelike. It wasn’t the technique that moved Billy however. It was the way in which his own face was looking back at him. In the picture he was looking slightly past the viewer with beginnings of a smile on his lips, like he had heard something funny and was about to burst into hearty laughter. Billy had never seen himself like this. Never in all of the photographs of him had there ever been a shot like this; a simple moment of happiness. Not that anyone had ever actually _drawn_ the likeness of Billy, but now? Now Teddy had drawn this with a pencil and nothing more and he had drawn it with _love_.

“Oh, Teddy.” Billy whispered feeling choked.

“That’s how I see you.” Teddy said, rubbed the back of his neck, and took the picture from Billy’s hands, folding it and placing it onto the edge of the wash stand.

Taking Billy’s hands between his own, he continued. “This is how you are to me; you are the most beautiful, most handsome, most perfect person I will ever know. I can’t compose you a sonnet to prove it nor write a poem. Like I said,” Teddy smiled. “I’m no wordsmith.”

Teddy’s hands moved yet again to cradle Billy’s head. “But I am an artist, of sorts.” He shrugged with a lopsided grin. “And I will continue to draw pictures of you until I can get through your thick skull and make you believe me that I love you. And to make sure you don’t change your mind, I will keep saying ‘I love you’ like some demented parrot until you tell me to bugger off or I drop dead from exhaustion. So,” Teddy again brought their foreheads together. “When the black dog of doubt starts circling you just tell me and I’ll come and chase it away.”

“How did you plan to do that?” Billy asked weakly.

“I’m going to kiss and snuggle you until you’re utterly fed up with both.” Teddy chuckled. “And then I’m going to do it some more.”

“That might take some time.” Billy muttered. “I’m rather fond of your kisses. Not to mention your cuddles.”

Teddy laughed and brought their lips together. “Good, because I think your lips are rather kissable and I just love the way in which we fit together.”

Billy slipped his arms around Teddy and Teddy’s arms wound themselves around Billy’s waist. Billy leaned his head on his lover’s naked chest, and gave himself a moment to take it in. The blond held him close, his chin tucked over Billy’s head. It felt grounding and like flying all at once.

“I love you.” Billy muttered into Teddy’s chest as the larger man placed a tender kiss amongst Billy’s hair.

“Love you too, Billy.” Teddy said and squeezed Billy firmly against himself.

They stood there for goodness knows how long but Billy didn’t care. He wasn’t going to be the one ending the embrace and it was Teddy who finally broke the silence.

“Billy.”

“Mhmm.”

“We’re naked.”

“Mhmm.”

“Maybe we should get dressed?”

“Let’s stay like this for a moment longer.” Billy murmured. “The door’s locked so it’s not like someone is going to barg-”

 

At that exact moment someone did barge in.

It was Tommy.

 

“Billy. You’ve got to see thi-” Tommy stopped on his tracks, looked at them for a second and then quietly turned.

“ _Saatanan vitut_!” Billy cursed after a second of stunned silence. “I forgot to lock the door when I got us the tea.”

They had ended the embrace the moment the door had opened but their state of undress left no room for doubts of the nature of their hug, or relationship.

“You said that your brother was fine with this.” Teddy said quietly, looking slightly shaken.

“It’s not that.” Billy sighed and locked the door, then started to put on his clothes. “It’s just that,” Billy smiled ruefully. “Tommy’s going to tease me mercilessly for few weeks and then he will bring this up in all sorts of inappropriate moments.”

“Well, that’s not so bad.” Teddy hummed as he was pulling on his trousers.

Billy snorted. “You wouldn’t say that if you would have some experience of his particular brand of him being an irritating little shit.”

“Brotherly love,” Teddy laughed. “What a beautiful thing.”

“Occasionally.” Billy hummed as he finished buttoning his shirt.

Billy walked over to Teddy who was also finishing buttoning his shirt, and ran his fingers through his golden hair. Teddy’s hair was always so soft and perfect and it looked good. It always looked good. The cut of it was still clearly an undercut but it wasn’t as neat and cropped as it had been few weeks ago. It was still short and smart looking, but more natural, more boyish; it suited Teddy well.

“I really love your hair.” Billy said, slid his hand down to Teddy’s neck and reached up to give him a small kiss. “Though, I also sort of hate you for it too.”

“Oh. Why’s that then?” Teddy smiled into the kiss.

“Because you are one of those annoyingly perfect people who don’t have a hair out of place even when they have been out of bed only for a minute.”

“Well,” Teddy grinned. “I do love your hair too; even though it looks like a herd of cows has licked it.”

“Shut up.” Billy muttered without any real vitriol.

“Shall we?” Teddy asked and ended the kiss, nodding towards the door.

“Yeah.” Billy sighed and headed to the door with Teddy in tow. “Let’s face the music in the form of my annoying twin.”

Just as they were about to enter the classroom, Teddy leaned down and whispered to Billy’s ear; “Do you know what else I like about you?” And before Billy could answer Teddy continued. “Your arse. It’s the tightest little rump I’ve ever seen and it fits so well against my crotch.”

Billy was about to give a shaky reply but it was the final thing said with a sultry whisper that shut him up and sent shivers down his back.

“And it looks so good when my cock is buried deep in it.”

Billy turned to Teddy and hissed with flushed cheeks. “For god’s sake, we’re in public! You just can’t say things like that.”

Teddy just smiled wickedly. He then leaned down and licked a hot, wet stripe along the left side of Billy’s jaw and smirked. “You also taste good.” He whispered, bold as brass and without a hint of shame.

Billy stood there motionless as Teddy pushed past him and stepped into the classroom like nothing had happened. Billy swallowed thickly and used all of his inner strength to will away the beginnings of an erection. With a shuddery breath Billy entered the room.

 

 

Oskari was manning the radio as per usual, though, he looked slightly green.

“Feeling a little unwell, are we?” Billy asked from him with a smirk and tried to appear calm and collected; the feel of Teddy’s tongue on his jaw still lingering “You look like you could do with a hair of the dog.”

“Fuck off.” Oskari replied with a shuddery breath and leaned heavily against his arm, propped on the table.

“That’s not the way to talk to your CO.” Billy laughed.

Oskari just grumbled something back and took a large gulp of water from his canteen.

Teddy was standing by the table with Tommy. The blond was reading a newspaper, his brow was furrowed and his expression had transformed into a sullen frown.

“So,” Billy said as he walked over to them. “What did you want me to see?” Billy asked from his brother.

“Nothing important.” Tommy shrugged “I fetched these from the village an hour ago.” He said and handed an extra copy of the newspaper to Billy. “We just had a rather important guest nearby and we didn’t even know about it.”

Billy grabbed the newspaper and looked at the headline. It simply read: ‘ _Hitler visits Finland_ ’. Under the blocky letters there was a picture of the man in question and then the article headline added: ‘ _Yesterday the head of the German Reich paid his respects on Marshal Mannerheim’s birthday_ ’.

“Tell me this is a fake.” Billy said and looked at Tommy disbelievingly.

“It’s real.” Tommy shrugged. “They mentioned it on the wireless in the morning. Care to guess where his plane landed.”

Billy quickly scanned the text through and near from the start of the article he found the part where the place where the plane gad landed was mentioned.

“Immola?!” Billy huffed. “That’s… What, an hour from here?”

“More or less.” Tommy nodded. “Less if you keep your foot down on the throttle.” He added and took a sip from his cup of tea that Billy hadn’t even noticed.

“Need a drink?” Tommy offered his tea to Billy.

“Yeah.” Billy sighed and took a sip from Tommy’s tea. It was spiked with the yesterday’s brandy.

Billy didn’t mind one bit.

“Thanks.” He said after a second gulp of the hot beverage and handed the mug back to Tommy.

“Don’t mention it.” Tommy shrugged and glanced at Teddy. “So… You must be pleased to be this near to your great and glorious leader. After all the _conquests_ you’ve been making…”

Tommy’s voice left no room for any doubts of which kind of conquests he was talking about. It certainly wasn’t about Wehrmacht’s advancement in general and Billy felt his ears heating up.

“I’m not.” Teddy said through gritted teeth. Either he hadn’t noticed the thinly veiled slight or he just didn’t care.

“Oh.” Tommy said almost airily. “I thought your lot was in this war whole heartedly.”

“We are not all…” Teddy said quietly, but Tommy interrupted him.

“Oh, I see.” He almost sneered. “When talking about your lot, the Germans, you’re not a one group to be painted with one brush. But my people, our people,” Tommy glanced at Billy. “We are.”

“I’ve never said anything like that nor have I ever even had a thought like that.” Teddy hissed. “I lo-” Teddy quickly corrected himself. “I like your brother. I like you slightly less, but still, I like you.”

“Mhmm.” Tommy hummed, looking thoughtful. “I don’t like you.” Tommy stated. “I mean, I might,” Tommy took a sip from his tea. “But, you know…” He gestured towards Teddy with his mug. “Nazi.”

“Tommy!” Billy hissed and looked at Teddy whose fists were clenched.

“I’m not… I’m sorry that you feel like that.” Teddy said quietly and turned, his expression was resigned rather than angry. “I need some fresh air.”

“Tommy, with me.” Billy grabbed his brother’s arm and hauled him past Oskari who looked considerably less hungover than a moment ago.

Billy slammed the door connecting the classroom and kitchen shut and turned to Tommy.

“Fuck you.” Billy growled.

Tommy looked nonplussed. “I thought _you_ were the one who got fucked.”

“Don’t. Just… don’t.”

“So you like it rough, eh?” Tommy continued nonchalantly. “He really had his way with you. Didn’t he? All the bite-marks and bruises… Hell, you even walk a little bit funny.”

Billy just stared numbly at his brother.

“Did Altman give you a quick introduction to German culture? Do you now have a little bit of pure-white German _essence_ inside of you?” Tommy gave his brother an once-over. “Well, considering Altman’s size it’s more than a just a bit.”

“You can be a nasty piece of work sometimes, can’t you?” Billy snarled. “Why now? Why are you now so against him? I thought that you were fine with him?”

“It’s because you are deluding yourself.” Tommy growled. “No matter how this war goes we are buggered. No matter who wins we are royally screwed. If it’s the Russians then this whole country is good as gone, and if it’s the Germans then only we Jews are going to be fucked. You think he can save you? Do you think that if you attach yourself to him things will be fine and dandy?”

“Of course I don’t!” Billy almost shouted, but then lowered his voice, hoping that Oskari wasn’t listening in.

“Don’t you think I don’t know that? I know that there are no happy endings for people like us. Us queers and inverts. But I’m happy. I’m… so, so happy.” Billy whispered and continued. “I love him, Tommy. I love him and I can’t help it, and if we are star crossed lovers who are doomed from the beginning or whatever the shit Shakespeare wrote then we are.”

Tommy was looking at him, intently listening.

“For once in my life I want to be happy even if I know how it most likely will end.” Billy swallowed thickly. “Do you know how many people have held me like I’m precious to them, you, mum, and dad not included, like a lover would? How many do you think?”

Tommy remained quiet.

“None.” Billy whispered. “But Teddy, he… He holds me like I mean something to him. He looks and smiles at me like I’m worth something. He tells…” Billy felt choked, but managed to continue. “He tells me that he loves me. And you know what? I believe him. I believe that he loves me. So, is it so wrong for me to just let go? To just love and feel loved?”

“My life it’s…” Billy whispered. “It’s not going to be a happy one, for men like us it isn’t. It’s full of hiding and fear, looking over your shoulder. Trying to guess whether or not the man you are going to kiss is a blackmailer, or an undercover police constable, or if you have just read the situation wrong and will be punched. I just have to try and hide _it_ and be miserable for the rest of my life; try to lead my life as best as I can. Not that it’s going to be a long one because, you know, the war.”

“Billy…” Tommy said quietly, but Billy continued.

“Just let me have this, please.” Billy felt tears prickling in his eyes. “I just want to feel happy for a little while. I want to know what it’s like to share your life with someone, to feel loved, even if it’s just for a moment. I want to be with him. I just want to be with my Teddy. Please, I… I just wa-” Billy sobbed.

Tommy took a step forward and hugged his brother tightly and sighed heavily “Billy… I’m not going to take him away from you, okay.” Tommy said quietly and held on firmly. “You really love him, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Billy whispered hoarsely against his brother’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him.

Tommy just sighed.

“Well, then,” Tommy said softly. “I’m happy for you.”

“You are?” Billy asked weakly.

“Yes. If the love of your life is a German soldier then,” Billy felt Tommy shrug. “What can you do? At least it shows that god has a sense of humour.”

“You don’t believe in god.” Billy muttered through his tears.

“Maybe I’ve found god.”

“Please…” Billy mumbled wetly. “You don’t have a religious bone in your body. You only go to the temple because mum would drag you there by the ear if you didn’t.”

“Eh.” Tommy shrugged again.

Billy stayed quiet for a moment, but broke the silence with a question. “Tommy, why… Why did you do that? Why did you accuse Teddy of being a Nazi? Surely by this point you have realised that he isn’t one?”

Tommy made a resigned huff and ended the hug.

“That fucking monster was so close to us, Billy. In Finland for fucks sake! And it’s just that… sometimes I almost forget what the Germans are and I almost forget that Teddy is one. I think he is a good man, I really do. But sometimes it’s just so fucking weird.” Tommy sighed. “It’s so bloody strange that in a way we are fighting on the same side as the Germans, and sometimes I just look at your beau and the only thing I see is _that_ arse with his stupid Chaplin moustache.”

Billy tried to talk, but Tommy continued. “I know what you are going to say, that I’m behaving exactly like they are; judging people by their ancestry and heritage, by their nationality and not by their character. It’s wrong, I know that. So, how about this; I’ll go and apologize to Teddy. Is that okay?”

“Hold the press! Thomas Kaplan is making an apology.” Billy laughed wetly.

“Watch it.” Tommy huffed.

“You never apologize for anything.”

“Yes I do, but only when I have been wrong about something.” Tommy said. “Which is exceedingly rare.” He added with a small grin.

“I just needed to vent it out.” Tommy sighed and looked at his brother. “I don’t have the same possibilities for getting rid of pent-up stress as you do. If you know what I mean.” Tommy smirked.

Billy knew exactly what Tommy meant and blushed.

“Stop it.” Billy murmured and wiped the remaining tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Was he any good?” Tommy asked with a smile.

“I thought that you weren’t interested to hear about these kinds of things?”

“I wouldn’t usually be, but,” Tommy smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. “Now that my brother is getting some arse, or rather,” Tommy smiled teasingly. “He is allowing someone to get his arse, I want to know.”

Billy was mortified.

“Dammit, Tommy. Stop it.” He murmured again, blushing like a smitten schoolgirl.

“Come on,” Tommy nudged him. “How was he?”

 Perhaps if he was frank about it Tommy would back off. Billy bit his lower lip and sighed.

“Big.” He said.

“How big are we talking about?” Tommy asked, looking almost intrigued.

Billy held his hands apart. “About this long.” He shrugged. “And this thick.”

“Well,” Tommy huffed. “Someone’s eaten their vegetables.”

“Mhmm.” Billy sighed, deliberately putting a dreamy tone into the sigh.

“And that was up your…” Tommy tilted his head back a bit.

 “Yup.” Billy popped the ‘p’. “I’m sore in places I didn’t even know I had.” Billy smiled at his brother, and Tommy’s look was between shocked and intrigued.

“Bloody hell.” Tommy grinned and raised an eyebrow. “You are tougher than you look, baby brother.”

“Thanks.” Billy snorted.

“I’ll go and talk with Altman.” Tommy sighed and rubbed his neck. “This is going to be fun…” He muttered and headed for the door.

Just as he was about to exit he turned. “And Billy,” His annoying grin was back. “When you do the list for supplies, be sure to add an extra request for Vaseline. I think the amount of tight places in need of lubrication is going to increase in the near future.”

Billy just stared at his brother with face red as a beetroot.

“And one more thing,” Tommy smirked. “Try not to hiss when sitting down. The chairs and benches here are quite hard.”

“Go.” Billy managed to utter and Tommy left, cackling as he went.

Brotherly love: what a wonderful thing indeed.

 

\- -

 

Teddy was sitting on the bench outside the sauna, looking towards the lake. He had a report that needed to be finished but it could wait for a moment. He wasn’t actually that cross with Tommy. He understood perfectly well the man’s attitude and opinions concerning Germany; his were probably more or less the same. Teddy hated this war and hated the man and the people that were responsible for it, and still, _still_ he had to be part of it.

Teddy sighed and was about to stand up but didn’t when he heard footsteps coming along the path. Turning slightly, he expected the person to be Billy. It wasn’t however; it was the white haired version of the Kaplan twins.

Tommy walked over and plopped down next to Teddy.

“Altman.” He said and glanced at the blond.

“Tommy.” Teddy nodded.

Neither spoke for a moment, not until Tommy broke the silence with an apology.

“I’m sorry for what I said.” Tommy sighed. “You’re not the one I should take my anger out to. It’s not your fault, the war, all of the shit we’re up against I mean.”

“No apology required.” Teddy sighed and rubbed his face. “It’s… a peculiar situation we are in.”

“You mean absolutely fucking bonkers.” Tommy quipped.

Teddy made a small laugh and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you could say that.” He rubbed his face with both hands and continued. “I hope you understand that I’m not one of those who wanted this war.” Teddy said and glanced at Tommy, continuing.

“After the last war we were a beaten nation, utterly spent and exhausted, but we managed to make things better. Slowly things got improved, the hyperinflation finally ended in the mid 20’s and the economy grew. People finally started to believe in themselves, started to view the future as something to look forward to and not as a frightening thing. Of course there was some strife amongst people, left versus the right and so on, but we were still a democracy. Then however…” Teddy sighed. “The -29 market crash happened.”

Tommy nodded and Teddy continued.

“Ta-da.” Teddy made a humourless sing-song sound. “Everything was gone; savings, jobs, pensions, all of them gone _again_ in less than a decade. People were tired, fed up and angry. And I don’t probably have to explain what happens when you offer miracle solutions to desperate people, _and_ also give them someone to blame.”

“No, you don’t.” Tommy sighed.

“Well, then into the prominence comes a party with an easy fix; _Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei_. The National Socialist German Workers' Party. Fuck,” Teddy hissed. “Only thing socialist about them was the fact that they thought highly of the colour red.”

“Anyway, their message sold like hotcakes. It was the fault of the communists, the social democrats, the old elites, the fault of the scheming foreigners, undesirables, and the Jews - especially the Jews - that things were the way they were. Give people a reason for their misfortune, a target for their anger and… Well, people will gobble it up hook, line, and sinker. And people did that, not all of us, not all the Germans. But enough to leverage the Nazis to power and then make sure they stayed in power.”

Tommy still didn’t say anything and Teddy went on.

“When I was about ten or eleven walking to the grocers with my mum, we saw SA men marching by in their brown uniforms in a neat formation, and I,” Teddy laughed bitterly. “I actually thought it looked impressive and might be a fun thing to do. Stopped thinking like that few years later though.” Teddy sighed.

“The stuff they spewed forth about Jews, socialists, foreigners and the way in which they attacked people and anyone who opposed them… it was horrible. After some of those thugs broke the windows of a bookstore in our building my opinion changed even more quickly.”

“Why?”

“The store was owned by the Höppner family, friends of me and my mum. Jews. Their son Max was a friend of mine and Mr. Höppner was one of the nicest men I’ve ever known. He used to give me books for my birthday and when I was twelve he found out that I liked to draw so he ordered some proper drawing paper for me and just gave it to me. You know what he said when giving it to me?”

“What did he say?” Tommy asked.

“He said that when I would be a renowned artist he was expecting a free ticket to one my exhibitions.” Teddy said with a small, sad laugh.

“Do you know what happened to them?” Tommy asked carefully.

“They managed to emigrate.” Teddy sighed. “Mr. Höppner was a smart man and he saw where the wind was blowing. They sold their business in -33, right after the last free elections, and left, thank god.” Teddy breathed out in a relieved manner. “I think they moved to Canada so they should be safe. Well, at least I hope they are safe.”

“You would have stayed home if that was a possibility, right? Not participated to this war.” Tommy asked and glanced at Teddy.

Teddy nodded.

“But I wasn’t brave enough to say no.” Teddy whispered and lowered his head. “Conscientious objectors are shot, as are most people who won’t do as they are told. So no matter what you do, you will end up facing someone with a rifle.”

“So,” Tommy said after a while. “You are between a rock and a hard place. You’ve been given an impossible choice; either you save your own life by working with people you despise or die by their hand.”

Teddy didn’t say anything, just nodding silently and looking into the distance.

“I understand you, and people who are in a similar situation, and…” Tommy sighed almost wearily. “I don’t judge or blame you. We as a country are in the same predicament, more or less.”

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, then continued. “We could have kept our reputation unblemished, could have said no to German help and just stayed on the moral high ground for a moment longer, up until the Russians grabbed that ground from under us. But we as a country don’t have the option of neutrality and you as an individual don’t have it either.”

“It’s…” Tommy shook his head. “The situation we are in, the Jews in Finland I mean, it is schizophrenic. If our side wins then that’s it; Germany will eventually find a way to get us. And if we lose; then that’s it for the whole country, it will be wiped out. The only way for us to make it - not just us Jews but all the Finns - is if no one wins. Neither Germans nor Russians, and that… That’s unlikely to happen. And when the Allies win it won’t be the western Allies defeating and occupying us.”

Teddy glanced at Tommy, who smiled resignedly. “How long do you think our side can manage to hold on now that America is involved in this little kerfuffle?”

“Not indefinitely.” Teddy sighed. “Three to five years, probably.”

“Exactly, so when the Allies win; you and I as individuals, the Germans who were with Hitler, Germans who opposed him, countries who had no choice but to acquiesce to Germany under pressure, countries who were with her because of varying degrees of actual free choice; we all will be painted with the same brush. That’s our lot.”

Tommy sighed. “Anyone who dared to co-operate or collaborate with them is tarnished, to be viewed with distrust and to be blamed no matter the circumstances; perhaps rightly so. But if my country can survive this war with German help and retain its independence, and the cost from that is a long lasting blame from those who were luckier with their options or had sea between them and their enemy then that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

Tommy turned to Teddy and looked at him. “As I said, you as well will be blamed. You will be a Nazi Kraut in the eyes of the world but you know the truth and that’s what matters.”

Teddy swallowed thickly and nodded.

“Have you spoken about this with Billy?”

“No.” Teddy shook his head. “I haven’t really.”

“You should.” Tommy said. “It would be a good thing for him to know about your views. Though, he probably has some inkling about them.”

They remained quiet for a good while, the midday sun making the air warm but the continuous cool breeze from the lake kept the air fresh.

“You love my brother.” Tommy said and it wasn’t a question.

“Yes.” Teddy said without even a hint of hesitance.

“What are your plans with him?” Tommy’s voice was inquisitive.

“I… I want to be with him as long as I can.”

“And that would be…”

“I…” Teddy stuttered. He hadn’t actually thought about it, how long would he want to be with Billy?

In his heart Teddy already knew the answer.

 

_Forever._

 

“For the rest of my life. If I can.” Teddy said with a determined voice.

“So you’re not with him just for the hell of it?” Tommy’s brow was furrowed.

“No. I love him and… and I want to share my life with him.”

Tommy just hummed noncommittedly and looked towards the lake, as did Teddy.

“Teddy.” Tommy said after a while and the German turned his head towards him.

Teddy nearly shuddered when he saw the icy, threatening glare of Tommy’s green eyes and the fact that he had height and weight advantage over Tommy, and still felt this way, it just made things even more menacing.

“Billy is an idiot who wears his heart on his sleeve. He loves you, that much is true, and at this moment I believe that you love him. But if it turns out that you have lied, that you have managed to fool both of us, if you are just using him, you end up hurting him…”

“I would never hurt him.” Teddy whispered; the mere thought of laying his hands on Billy with something else than care made him almost sick.

“I’ll kill you.” Tommy said quietly.

Teddy believed him and just nodded.

“You look a lot like Billy.” Teddy whispered after a stunned moment. “But you two are not alike.”

“No.” Tommy said; his voice was cold, but slightly less threatening than it had been. “I am not my brother.”

Tommy stood up and his back was turned to Teddy when he spoke. “Billy is a capable man, tougher than he looks, hard as nails if push comes to shove. But from time to time he needs someone to look after him, needs someone at his side. I hope that that someone is you.”

Teddy didn’t say anything.

Just before disappearing behind the corner Tommy stopped and looked at the blond, “Cherish him.” He said with a quiet voice.

“I will.” Teddy replied and Tommy nodded.

Leaning his back against the wall of the sauna, Teddy closed his eyes. He found himself wishing that he would have someone like Tommy in his corner, looking out for him. Well, perhaps he now did.

 

\- -

 

**10.7.1942**

Billy glanced at his watch and removed the headphones he was wearing, rubbing his ears to get some blood flowing into them. It was just Billy and Oskari who were present at the schoolhouse; Tommy was delivering a dispatch and Teddy was in Mikkeli to give his monthly face-to-face report to his immediate German CO.

Teddy had put on his crisp, neater tunic, the one which clung to his chest and biceps in an absolutely sinful way. He had looked undeniably dashing in it and the only thing Billy had wanted to do was to climb on him like some bloody squirrel, then, methodically, remove the smart looking uniform and convince Teddy to have his wicked way with him.

They had done nothing more than kissed after the first time they had had sex over a month ago and quick snogging sessions whenever they had few seconds of privacy weren’t enough.

Not by a long shot.

In short; Billy was pent-up.

Long stretches of un-voluntary celibacy had always been a fact of Billy’s young life, but he had managed just fine. When there had been no one to lust, over the urges had been easy enough to supress. That was not the case anymore however. Billy found himself looking at Teddy with increasing amounts of want and the fact that he could not do anything to alleviate those urges was nothing but sheer, bloody torture. And sometimes, progressively often in fact, he felt eyes on his back.

Teddy’s eyes.

Whenever that happened, he would turn and glance at Teddy who was looking him with nothing but utter hunger. Teddy’s shoulders would be heaving minutely, as if he was holding himself back, barely preventing himself from charging forward and pressing Billy against the nearest horizontal surface to fuck him silly. All the time more Billy found himself imagining just that; Teddy standing up, abandoning whatever he had been doing, stalking to Billy, hoisting him up with his massive arms, and just taking Billy there in the middle of a room. On the floor, bent over the table, against the wall, whispering dirty things into his ears as he pressed his thick cock into…

 

_Stop it, Kaplan!_

 

Shaking his head and dispelling the extremely appealing imagery from his head, Billy tapped Oskari on the shoulder to get his attention.

“I’m just going to take a quick break.” Billy said.

He needed some air.

“Sure.” Oskari nodded and was about to turn back to his task, but then decided to take off his headphones. “Ville.”

Billy was looking through his latest intercepted message and he hummed, acknowledging that he was listening.

“I was just wondering,” Oskari cleared his throat. “Should I use one of my half day leaves and give you and Teddy some privacy so that, you know,” He shrugged. “You two could fuck.”

“Yeah, that would be fin-” Billy said before he realised with whom he was speaking with.

Fear coursed through Billy’s veins with a speed of lighting and he stared numbly at the paper in front of him.

“I… I meant tha-” The words died on his lips and Billy’s mouth was suddenly bone dry.

 

_Oh god._

 

“Wha- what are you talking about?” Billy managed to say; hoping to god that he didn’t sound too shaken.

“I think you know what I’m talking about.” Oskari sighed.

Billy was barely able to keep himself from shaking.

“How?” Billy whispered with a barely audible voice, still staring the paper in front of him with unseeing eyes.

“Surely _you_ know the actual mechanics of your romp. You know, what part goes into which hole.” Oskari said with a small grin.

 

_Joke_.

 

That was a joke about sex between Billy and Teddy; told by Oskari. Was he mocking them?

“What.” Billy whispered with clenched fists, his fingernails were digging small crescents to the palms of his hands. “How did you…?”

“How did I found out?”

Billy nodded minutely. He couldn’t speak, he was feeling sick.

“You two aren’t nearly as sneaky as you would like to think you are.” Oskari shook his head and smiled. “Teddy looks at you like you’re the one who hung the moon and the stars and you, well… You look at him like you have found the secret of the existence itself in him. Also,” Oskari shrugged. “I saw you two snogging, and let me tell you, I did not know that kissing could involve that amount of tongue.”

Oskari didn’t elaborate. He did not need to. He could have caught them anytime in the past month or so.

“Are you going to report us?” Billy asked weakly.

“No.”

Billy swallowed thickly; his mouth was drier than the Sahara. “Why?”

“Because,” Oskari shrugged. “I try not to pass judgement, especially on my friends.”

“But I’m a… a queer, an invert… Why?” Billy whispered.

“I’ve met men like you before and what I’ve gathered from those meetings is that they are like any one of us; just ordinary people. In fact, one of my relatives is a man with your tastes.”

Billy just stared numbly. This wasn’t the reaction he had expected.

“I’ve told you I grew on a farm, right?”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned it.” Billy said quietly.

“Well, countryside isn’t that pure, pastoral idyll novels and paintings portray it to be. Our farm is a bit larger than the average so we have some farmhands working for us, and during harvest we have to hire some extra help. So,” Oskari shrugged. “People end up sleeping in close quarters. Two young men sleeping in a small room or up in the hayloft for few weeks in a relative privacy… I think you can picture the rest.”

“I think I can.” Billy mumbled.

“Also,” Oskari glanced at Billy. “Like I said, I have an uncle who bats for the other team. My grandparents had two sons, the firstborn was my dad, and the younger one was my uncle Heikki. He moved to Helsinki after my grandparents died and dad took over the farm. Heikki opened a camera store, selling things you need in photography, also takes portraits and stuff. Anyway, he comes and helps us with the harvest every year. You know, still a country boy in his heart. Brings his camera with him too and takes pictures of the life in the sticks. They really are rather good pictures; the way in which they capture the country life is just uncannily good. Farmers tilling the fields, maids milking cows, midsummer and harvest celebrations, tanned farmhands gathering crop without their shirts on or cooling off naked after sauna…” Oskari cocked up an eyebrow and grinned.

“Oh.” Billy breathed out.

“Exactly.” Oskari laughed.

“You could use this to your advantage.” Billy said.

“You mean blackmail you?” Oskari said more levelly.

Billy just nodded.

“I could.” Oskari sighed. “But I won’t. Though, there is one thing I would want you to do.”

“What’s that?” Billy asked warily.

“When you and Teddy get…” Oskari coughed. “Intimate. Promise me that you keep the door locked, I really don’t want to see the actual mechanics of your romp.”

“Sure.” Billy replied with a slight blush. “We can do that. I… I’m going to take the break now.”

Oskari nodded and stood up. “Do you want a cuppa? I’m making myself a one.”

“Yeah thanks.” Billy said and walked outside.

As he sat down onto the granite steps of the schoolhouse he felt slightly stunned. Oskari’s reaction had been so unexpected; he hadn’t shunned Billy nor been disgusted by him. He had just accepted it as a thing of life and that’s it, move along, nothing to see here. Oskari had said that they were friends and Billy realised it to be true. The man could have just contacted the HQ and out his deviant CO. But he hadn’t, not even when it could have been beneficial to him. And even if they weren’t friends, if their relationship was merely an official one, Billy doubted that Oskari would had even then have reported him. He seemed to be genuinely a good man.

Being with Teddy would be so much simpler now; the risk of getting caught - at least by Oskari - was gone. It was as if a stone had rolled off Billy’s shoulders. Of course they had to be careful, surprise inspections happened from time to time, but now things looked up and Billy was going to pay back the kindness shown by Oskari in some way, get him a long leave, or something similar.

“Your tea is getting cold.” Oskari said and handed a tin mug to Billy who had been too distracted to even realise that the sandy haired sergeant had walked up to him.

“Thanks.” Billy said and Oskari sat down next to him.

“Your brother,” Oskari glanced at Billy. “Does he know?”

“Yes. Thank god.”

Oskari hummed his approval. “That makes things easier.”

“Tell me about it.” Billy sighed.

 Oskari then held out his mug. “Here’s to…”

“To friendship?” Billy smiled.

“To friendship.” Oskari smiled back and clanked their mugs together.

“So,” Oskari said after a while. “Are you going to allow Teddy to take you in a manly fashion when he gets back from Mikkeli?”

The tea left Billy’s mouth in a spurt.

Maybe it would have been for the best if Oskari didn’t know about the two of them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I do apologize for the long wait. Five months and only fourteen thousand words is not exactly what could be considered a sufficiently fast pace of writing. Hopefully the smutty bits in this chapter were at least partially worth the wait. It was supposed to be soft morning sex and not utter porn in this chapter but, well… As stated Teddy was a tad pent-up.
> 
> *Coughs*
> 
> Onwards.
> 
> Life has just gotten in the way of writing and My King, My Love (my other story) has also been in part the reason for leaving this story on the backburner. This break of sorts however has given me time to think and I’ve decided to add an extra plot-line to this story. I’m not going to tell just yet what it is, but it will probably start in the next or the chapter after that. It will be a sizable addition and I’m not even going to make any estimates on how much length it will add to this story but it will probably be a quite decent amount.
> 
> Hitler visiting Finland… yeah, that happened. I’ll put the link to the Wikipedia article under. But in short, the visit was meant to serve as an opportunity to convince Finnish leadership of the benefits of continued co-operation between both countries.  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_Gustaf_Emil_Mannerheim#Visit_by_Adolf_Hitler
> 
> I think it says a lot about how Mannerheim regarded Hitler and the Germans in general because when president Ryti called to inform that the Fuhrer was coming to a visit, Mannerheim apparently put it quite bluntly: “Vad i helvete gör han här?” (It’s in Swedish because Mannerheim was a Swedish speaking Finn) It translates as: “What the hell is he doing here?”
> 
> Fascinating thing in regards of this visit is that a Finnish sound technician from YLE (Finland’s national public broadcasting company) managed to record a part of the private conversation between Mannerheim and Hitler. This recording is apparently the only record in existence where Hitler can be heard speaking casually; as in, not knowing that his speech was being recorded he didn’t put on a show for posterity.  
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hitler_and_Mannerheim_recording
> 
> Interestingly enough, the recording was used by Swiss actor Bruno Ganz as he was rehearsing Hitler's manner of speaking for his role in the 2004 film Downfall (Hitler hears about meme –film).
> 
> There is also an interesting 45 min. documentary by National Geographic on YouTube about this recording. Here is a link to its first part: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zu5JDzhouyA
> 
> Word of warning, though, do not read the comments because they are, well… awful. As in far-right bastards everywhere. Ugh.
> 
> About the next update; I’m applying to study a different field in university and its entry exam is extremely hard so for the next month my schedule includes reading, reading and more reading. So… as always, next update is when it is and I wish to you all lots of sunny spring days.  
> Leave a comment if you want to chat, have ideas, criticism etc.
> 
> PS.  
> Over thousand hits and the kudos metre has climbed over seventy. Wow!  
> Moreover, this story is now over one year old and it is now over fifty thousand words long. Yay!
> 
> Thank you for the past year, dear readers.


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